Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 35

im 16, and i have never felt worse about myself than i do right now and these last few weeks.

since i was a little kid, ive been in bad homes. No matter who i was living with, it has always been filthy and disfunctional. right this instant im living in probably the 2nd or 3rd worst home ive ever lived in. its filthy and miserable. i have a decently severe weed addiction that i adopted in november 2023 after smoking for the first time in august of that same year. my dad got me started (and still supplies me with it) and i dont really hate him for that? i might have killed myself a long time ago if it wasnt for the emotional suppression that weed does to me. Im probably high more than im sober. the weed addiction isnt that bad to be honest but i thought its relevant.

Covid fucked my one good relationship with my old best friend connor. barely talk to him anymore and the majority of my friends are online. I do online school right now, because going to school makes me want to kill myself.

but the thing is, i dont have many real life friends. and that fucking sucks. i dont do anything at all most days other than fuck around on games or fl studio. i have a job too but that doesnt help too much.

im fat. 248lbs at the moment and losing. its alot better than what i was (around 330-350 i dont fully remember). i feel like no one could stand looking at me in a romantic way because of my weight, which realistically i know thats not entirely true. my face isnt much better, i dont consider myself ugly, but i visibly look like my mother, and it fucks me up. i have a very bad relationship with her that i would need a seperate post to go into. tldr for that one is i havent seen her in person in 2 years almost, and she never calls me because shes a heavy drug addict, basically addicted to anything you could think of.

When i was 14 my life (which was already pretty shitty) went to hell. we got evicted due to our disgusting house. thats mostly because of my sisters and my dumb as fuck family who thought we could handle 2 extra drug babies who are not right mentally. after we got evicted, we moved in with my extended family for like 2 months. Thats 12 people in a 3 bedroom house. i hated it. but i got my first experience with my own room. because up until then i was always given the living room to sleep in because i was the oldest. when i lived with the extended family, they gave me a room to myself for some reason. something about genders shouldnt mix? theyre pretty conservative. after 2 months of living with them, we had to leave. we moved into an extremely shitty hotel, one room for everybody, 2 beds. then we moved into a much worse hotel that had 2 rooms. but super infested with roaches. i got so depressed i was getting physically sick. i stayed home from school for a week. after a while, i couldnt take it anymore. i moved in with my dad and here we are now. im writing this while its 5 am so this is gonna be hard to read, sorry its all fucked up and disjointed. honestly theres like 9 other things i wanted to include but maybe another time.

TL;DR

shitty house, shitty family, loneliness, and the want to kill myself

Aight, so I got this problem and idk what to do. Valentine’s Day is like next week, and there’s this girl I really like… but I have NO CLUE how to ask her to be my valentine. Like, do I just text her straight up? Try to be funny? Make it casual?? Bro, I feel like an idiot even stressing over this but I don’t wanna mess it up.

I’ve been talking to her for a while now, and we text almost every day. Nothing too crazy, just memes, random convos, and stuff about school. She always replies fast tho, which I think is a good sign?? Or maybe she’s just nice lol idk. Either way, I actually like her and wanna make a move before some other dude asks her first.

The problem is, I’m trash at this kinda thing. Like, I overthink everything. If I just text, “Hey, wanna be my valentine?” is that too lame? Or what if she thinks I’m joking?? I thought about sending some kinda flirty text like, “So, what’s your Valentine’s Day plans? Cuz I heard this guy (me) is available 😉” but then I feel like I’d cringe myself into another dimension if she doesn’t respond how I hope.

Then there’s the classic “What if she says no?” I mean, yeah, rejection happens, whatever. But having to see her at school after that? BRUH. That would be painful. What if she shows the text to her friends and they all laugh at me?? Lowkey wanna just avoid this whole thing but at the same time, I don’t wanna regret not shooting my shot.

Maybe I should just go all in and send something dramatic like:

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at flirting, but will you be my boo?”

LMAO nah, that’s too much. She’d prob think I’m messing around.

Or should I just keep it simple? Like:

“Hey, so I was wondering… would you wanna be my valentine?”

No emojis, nothing. Just straight to the point. But what if that’s too boring?? Man, this is why texting is so stressful. You can’t tell if someone’s actually excited or if they’re just being nice.

Also, when do I even send it?? If I do it too early, she might think I’m desperate. Too late, and she might already have plans. I feel like there’s some secret Valentine’s Day rulebook I never got.

Honestly, if this was a reality show, I wonder what people would think of me right now. Would they be yelling at the screen like, “JUST TEXT HER ALREADY!!” or would they be roasting me for overthinking so hard?? Probably both tbh.

But yeah, if anyone has advice, lemme know. Cuz right now, I’m just staring at my phone like an idiot, tryna figure out how to ask a girl to be my valentine over text without looking like a total clown. Wish me luck... 😥

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Not sure if this is the right category but I desperately need to vent and get feedback on this. I have been separated from my husband for over a year and a half. We have a three year old son who spends weekdays with me and weekends with his father. I am a full time online college student and stay at home mom, so I get the majority of my homework done when my son is at his dad’s.

Every weekend, my ex will send me photos and videos of our son. Sometimes he’ll send a short message too, but usually just the photos/videos. If I don’t respond to him right away or in a timely manner, he will send me a passive aggressive message like “guess I’m back to being ignored.” Now, I am always busy when he sends these messages. Doing homework, catching up on housework, or even taking a shower. I try to make sure that I at least react to some of the photos to let him know I saw them and enjoyed them. But he still accuses me of ignoring him. And it’s always passive aggressive.

My reason for needing to vent today is the conversation that just happened. For context, I had an issue with my school’s bookstore this semester and only just got the textbook I needed for one of my classes. My instructor is amazing and extended the due dates of assignments for me, so I have 3 weeks of assignments to catch up on, plus work for another class. So I am very busy and need to concentrate. When I dropped my son off at his father’s yesterday, I told him that I had a lot of work to catch up on. This morning, my ex sent me pictures and videos of our son at the park. I took a moment’s break from my schoolwork to view them, sent a heart reaction to a couple, then put my phone down and continued working. 15 minutes later, I got a message saying “back to ignored again?” I took a deep breath to calm myself down, then took a picture of my open textbooks and sent it to him with the message: Thank you for sending videos but please stop assuming I’m ignoring you. I told you yesterday that I have 3 weeks worth of work to catch up on.

This is how the rest of the conversation went:

Ex: Sorry it's just I'm very alone and wanted to share some cool moments of T with someone. Good luck with your school work

Me: I understand that, but I am also tired of constantly being attacked and accused. It creates a lot of stress for me and distracts me from the things I need to do. In the future, please just assume I’m busy. I try to make sure that I react to the photos you send me to let you know I saw them and enjoyed them, and that’s usually all I’m able to do in that moment.

Ex: Always about you, sorry I tried to talk to you.

Me: I am trying to set a boundary. I am trying to communicate with you, to tell you how your words, your accusations of me ignoring you, are affecting me.

Have a good weekend, Simon. Give my love to T, please.

Ex: Look, I'm sorry I tried to talk to you. I was just feeling alone and wanted to to share some cool moments with our son with someone. You have no empathy for anyone other than yourself. I don't know why I keep forgetting that. I'm stupid I suppose.

Me: Maybe instead of accusing me of ignoring you, you could say something like “doesn’t he look like he’s having fun?”

If you want to talk to someone, you shouldn’t accuse them of something first, unless you are looking to start a fight.

Ex: I'm never looking to start a fight. You should know that about me. I didn't say anything because if I say words to you, you'll ignore them and I'll feel shit about myself, like I'm not even worth the 5 seconds it takes to reply.

Me: Ok.

He hasn’t said anything else since, but it is eating me up inside and I have no one else to talk to right now. Am I wrong?? Should I have dropped everything to respond to the photos besides liking them? I already have to watch what I say to him, because using words like “we” upsets him because he immediately assumes I’m seeing someone else. I’m not and am usually referring to my mom, whom I am living with.

I’m just so hurt and angry and confused right now.

I don't know what category this would go in, I don't know if this is even the right place to put this, I just googled 'anonymous places to vent' and went with this. I have no one to talk to and just don't know what to do about anything.

Everything. Just everything, look at what Trump and his cronies are doing, and no one is even trying to stop them. They're just complying in advance, or showing their true colors, both maybe. I keep trying to reach out to charities that are supposed to help LGBTQ folk flee the country or flee red states to blue- no one is helping me. No one. ONE out of the twenty or so I've written answered me, but then suddenly stopped once they said they were going to arrange a video call with me after I confirmed my identity. Rainbow Railroad told me 'America still protects my rights' so they won't help me. They won't even help me get to a blue state despite saying they help with that as well. I think they blocked my emails...

I never even got to live. I wish I was joking saying this, or exaggerating, but I'm not. My father kept me hostage, pretty much, from ages 17 to 22 or so. Sabotaging doctor's appointments, hiding my college acceptance letters, letting me get more and more disabled. More and more dependent. I've had so much crap happen in my life, various flavors of trauma from many different people, most people supposed to love and protect me. That's just one example and the one effecting me second most right now, it has the most relevance.

I'm 25 now, intersex and trans, and trapped. I am afraid to even try to get an ID and passport now despite never having one in the first place because what if someone looks at me and decides it's invalid based on how I look purely and I don't get to travel? Don't get my documents back? That's been happening to trans people trying to flee and yet no country is trying to stop Trump from the outside in seeing this all? Preparing to rescue us even if we have no documents? This is blatantly genocide, they're making us stateless and banning our travel, denying existence and removing government documentation of so many things...

I have been screaming for help for years. YEARS before this. About this, about other things, no one listened. No one ever listens, I need too much help and have too much wrong with me so I'm "not valuable." No one wants to help me and I'm running out of time day by day. I can't keep fighting. I even wrote an Australian government site that says they're taking in queer refugees, begged for help, admitted that I have nothing to offer but that I can learn skills if just given the chance and a bit of help. No one replies, of course, but I expected that. I'm just so tired. Scared.

Why is my life worth so little?

My family, who all either voted for this or skipped out because they had the privilege to as it 'didn't affect them' are around me laughing and unbothered. I just want to scream at them to shut their mouths. Shut up. You don't get to vote for my demise or otherwise treat me like shit for being afraid then sit there laughing, smiling, while I'm here barely making it.

I guess I just want to ask what steps do I even take first? Before someone says therapy, I'm already in it, my therapist doesn't even know what to say or do to help me and yes I'm on meds. I keep getting cycled through them because everything I try I have a terrible reaction to or it does absolutely nothing. I don't know what to do. And no, I'm not trying to encourage violence or am I saying I'm going to do anything to myself, just in case that needs to be made clear. I'm just laying myself bare. I'm just needing SOMEONE to help me. Or at least just hear me, not give me empty, hollow words and "coping mechanism advice" like hotlines (even TrevorChat) do.

I'm just so tired.

I have been battling depression, anxiety and undergoing treatment for almost nine months. Initially, I resisted medication but now I take it mechanically..with little difference except for the discomfort when switching medications.

My condition fluctuates. A while ago i tried to change mindset pushing myself to live well work hard so my family could have a better life but there is no improved at all…

Since the first day i entered the workforce i have faced suppression and lack of recognition even in my personal relationships….life has never shown my mercy.

Honestly, im exhausted..there has been countless times when i just wanted to end everything it feels like nothing truly want has ever been within my reach. No matter how hard i try or how positive i remain fate and live seems to always work against me.

While other’s lives keep getting better mines only go from bad to worse. My family struggles to afford food and as their child I feels myself useless to help them.

The guy I like—his r dislikes me because my family is poor..he even assumes that I like his son just because he is the boss’s son….

I’m already 32 years old, life likes completely messed.

How am I supposed to keep going?….i feel tired for all of this..

I REALLY DONT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU HAVE your own ideas and requirements but don’t say them upfront. You wait until I’ve completed everything and then demand a full revision of my work.

From the start, it was agreed that I would be fully responsible for designing this website. But now that I’ve designed it, you keep insisting on changes. And then you tell me that if I had scheduled a meeting earlier, none of these issues would have happened.

You were the one who asked me to design it, and now you’re the one saying it doesn’t look good. In the end, you also want everything done according to your exact preferences. Why the hell didn’t you just lay out your design from the beginning? Now that I’ve done all the work, you want it entirely your way!

I really hate it when people keep their ideas to themselves and only start nitpicking after I’ve already done the work. If you’re so great at it, do it yourself! Damn it!

I must have been out of my mind to agree to be your business partner!

So I am a 12th grade student. I am 17 and my bf is 19. He was my senior. And everyone in my school are jealous of my relationship. Our receptionist told my mom that I am going out with him. My mom didn't believe her much but one day she doubted that I may have something, so they unlocked my phone with my fingerprint when I was sleeping and checked everything. The chats, the photos. It became a big issue pretty soon and both our families talked and asked us to end it. Their main problem was not our age but that we belonged to different castes. Soon he got sent to a hostel and I stayed back in our city as I am still in my highschool. Everytime I go out, my parents doubt that I may meet someone, not him, but maybe someone else. As if I am a slut who maintains a new guy every month. And the girl who got rejected by my bf along with her chapri gang started spreading rumours that me and him slept together. That bitch even told my teachers the same. And damaged my reputation. I got sick and she wished I would die. And now she comes showing false concern. And from the moment this issue happened, I lost interest in my studies and basically everything. From straight A's student to someone who barely gets pass marks. Boards are 10 days away and all I want to do is cry and sleep, or die. The torture is just too much

first of all, i dont actually have any really bad problems so you dont have to feel bad for me.

I feel like me friendships end up the same alot of the times, by them treating me badly, for example this one friend group im apart of is the kind where everyone is cussing about eachother but we all know we are joking most of the time, but then when there is actually some drama im apart of, i know what would hurt a person but i just dont wanna do that and they just say the most bad thing about me. I feel like almost everyone friend group im apart of is this kind of where everyone is always shittakking eachother but j just want to be apart of one where everyone respects eachother, of course a joke sometimes is completely ok but im so tired of constantly getting shitted on. Why do people always stab so much where it hurts? Do they not know, or do they do it on purpose. This had happend to me in 3 friend groups and im starting to feel like its problem on my side, im thinking for some time i fould be having paranoid personality disorder, should i talk to a psychiatrist? Is it my fault? Please, i will value advice

PS: also sorry if its quite chaotic

Hey, I am a mother of a toddler and a business partner (of course with my husband) and WIFE to my husband. we are together 24/7 everyday dealing all the tasks of work and home.... I am lacking fun. Thanks to my bad childhood and the most nagging and control freak mother i never had a real friendship. That is still the case and i am not able to establish friendly relationship with anyone. Literally i am with a company all day around. To be honest my hubby is a 90% good guy but miser in terms of fun or romance. to give you context, i never had any gift from him in my 12 years of togetherness. when i am feeling utterly lonely even when accompanied - in terms of fun or having a life at all... am getting frustrated and i am starting to fight with him over small insignificant matters and things become more worse, i become more stressed and back to work life routine. I feel trapped. I do not have any company for the fun part of my life. I am desperately lonely in terms of a friend with whom i could share and just have a casual no tasky or businessy or home matter conversation. I am stuck, stressed and more than anything, i am angry at myself. To be honest, i do not know how to be happy with just myself.

At this point, I don't know what to do. I just want help, school is really getting to me, and it makes me feel like I'm pathetic or something. My family thinks it's just cause I'm lazy, and don't want to do the work, but I'm really just trying to deal with my mental health at the moment and it feels like it's only getting worse. I really just want help, and don't want to go to school, I end up crying every morning because of it, I don't have friends, and I realized I get distracted in class by how much people are in the room and can't help but feel like everyone talks behind my back, or looking at me. This probably takes place from when I got bullied in elementary school, they all talked behind my back, and I had to sit outside beside the classroom while they were talking about me, right beside me. I thought giving one of them money would make them closer to me but she ended up being the one that started talking behind my back first. I started homeschooling because of it, for a couple years, and moved to a different school. I don't know what to do with me life, I can't help but feel no one gaf about me, and they'll only care if I'm gone. I have lots of trouble making friends, and interacting with people, I have one person who makes me feel seen, and like they care, he's super sweet, he makes me feel like a person, and makes me wanna become a better person. But for now I don't know what to do. It's the same cycle, where I end up in a really depressed sate for a whole week, then feel better, then depressed all over again, I just want help

I'm 22, a guy. I've had 5 proper friendships in my life.

First and second one in school, after I moved states. They lasted around 10 years until I got into a relationship. They hated my boyfriend, so I got ghosted and blocked everywhere.

Third was a girl in the city i live in now, after I moved out from my parent's house. We got along until she got more and more toxic. She was 18 at the time, she acted like a spoiled 13 year old. Insulted, bullied and humiliated others. I quit that frie4ndship. She stalked me for 9 months.

Fourth was with an ex of mine, after a year of being apart we got to talk again. He's a nice guy. I adore him, in a very platonic way. He's been ghosting me for 2 months now for no reason.

Last one just broke apart today. A friend of 6 years told me about his struggles. I've been there for him for weeks now since he was feeling bad, but i ran out of tips and tricks. Ran out of solutions, so i simply suggested he'd go back to his therapist, that's what she's there for after all. He ignored me for the day and then started insulting me, calling me names, and much worse. I blocked him.

22 years. and not a single lasting friendship because all people turn out to hate me, ghost me or be toxic. I'm giving up on friendship.

its like no one understands me or my struggles. sounds like im a pick me but its true. ive got no one to talk to, to trust. everyone would tell the nearest asshole about how "emo" i am for my struggles. my country does not take self harm well. youd get called out in your schools hallways or get called emo constantly. most adult tell you youre seeking attention and ignore your struggles. i constantly self harm. it calms me down seeing the blood drip from my arms. i have always loved blood, i dont know why. ive always intentionally made myself bleed to drink it. or just to look at it. maybe its cause my experience with hostpitals from a young age. my sister got terminally sick when i was 5. i was in and out of school to visit her. she went to hostpitals all over the country. my family once forgot me in a hostpital. but ive been there so much that i practically knew my way around. nurses were always sweet and kind. always had a look of pity because of my sister. they knew she would never make it. maybe people would understand a litle if they knew my whole story. but no one ever looks at the big picture. they just look at the ugly parts AND THEN HAVE THE AUDACITY TO JUDGE YOU. i hate people, idc if this gets rejected atleast someone read it if it did.

I, 14F, live in a household with my dad, 52M, and my little brother, 11M, who suffers from developmental disabilities (one of the types of autism). My sister, 19F, has moved away for university. Both my sister and I agree that getting away from our family by graduating is the best and most pacifistic solution. Growing up, my mom (I don't remember how old she was and is) was both physically and mentally abusive. She left a lot of issues for me to handle. Technically, she is the reason why I hate myself, body and soul, in this day and age. I found myself at 9 years old, begging my dad to divorce my mom, thinking that everything would be over. Guess what? My dad had to see his father dying from COVID-19, and TWO WHOLE MONTHS LATER, after lots of incidents, he filed a restraining order and a divorce. Of course, he had to see his children crying and begging him on their feet to do it. Yeah, of course, I had to see my newly bought clothes by my godmother with scissors because my mom and godmother/aunt were beefing at that time. Of course, my mom had to pull me by the shirt and drag me upstairs because she found me eating at my aunt's when she refused to cook for a whole week. I was just thankful that my mom would go away. Long story short, the court drives weren't amazing. The judges would side with my mom and use false information against us. I was just a kid, and the judge was treating me like a middle-aged criminal. Anyway, people started seeing the truth, and my dad won custody of all three kids. We live in a small village therefore everything is easily shared. Today, my dad is kind of... overprotective. Which eventually becomes unnecessarily annoying and very disturbing. I never actually had a boyfriend until I met Kanye on Instagram. He is three years older than me. I've been rejected twice (to be honest, kind of harshly since the last guy threw my card to someone I hated because they made dirty jokes about me and then said that I'd probably have a chance with the dirty guy instead), and I didn't give much thought because I liked him. We were in a relationship for two and a half months. Until my dad found out and went berserk. He deleted my Instagram accounts and blocked all my apps on my phone through parental control. I eventually broke up with Kanye because my dad threatened to fly to Kanye's home country and file a restraining order against him. I had to break up with the one guy I could talk freely about my situation without being judged and the only guy that loved me for me and not for my talents to brag about. I'm seriously debating life at this point. Kanye kept me alive. Now Kanye has to go. What's left? Nothing. What does my dad do to help? Make everything worse. "I don't have a favorite kid," he says as he suggests that my brother will use MY PHONE to watch YouTube because my brother's phone was out of battery. Yeah, okay, my brother has autism, I respect that. But god damn it. If you're going to use it like that, you're just not cool. I have trouble waking up because even my nightmares are better than this. I can't even pick up my ass to do basic things like shower or eat. But in my dad's mind, I'm just lazy. I don't want to keep living at this point. As my mom once said, "It should have been you instead of my miscarriage the year before your birth". Man, I know, it really should have.

I thought that my brother was favored over me. My parents, my grandparents, and even my relatives. Now, it seems like I'm right. I felt horrible after all the years I spent trying and trying to get them to look at me. But who thought that he would bring me more trouble? It all started when my brother started to fight and yell at my parents when he hit puberty. I guess I'm more sensitive to sounds or conflicts since I was crying every night they fought. I just hated all the noise and the words that they spat out at each other. I didn't say a single word to my parents because I feared I would make them angrier. I said everything I felt to my friends, which later caused them to distance themselves. I was too naive to know that they were just young kid like me, not a therapist. After about 2 years of all the noise, I finally told my father I couldn't bear it anymore. My father was concerned after hearing about what I said, and I started to go to a nearby hospital for therapy and pills. But that didn't help. It only made me feel dull and empty, making my hands shakier. The pills didn't help at all. I started to cut myself, but I always ended up panicking and calling my dad for help. I was about 13 years old when I started that. Venting to my friends caused some trouble, and I ended up pushing everybody away from me. I was alone. After they left, I realized that I needed them more than anything. I started to leave school early or skip school for weeks. I even went into the psych ward, but only for about a month and a few weeks. However, that didn't stop my parents and my brother from yelling at each other. I was barely surviving. I spend the next 3 years in the same situation. Now, I'm a high school student in my country, with nothing much being different. A few days ago, my brother got into one of the top-rated universities here. This holiday was a living hell for me. He was smiling and bragging like an idiot. I hate him. How could he be so egoistic when he had torn my life into pieces? I had to go through all of that. I had to lose the people I loved the most, hurt myself, and think that everything happened because of me, like he said. I was a fool to notice that my brother was the problem. I can't even hate him because there's a stupid part of me that's saying that I shouldn't. Only because he's my brother. Because he's family. Even when he doesn't treat me like I'm his younger sister or like a person that's equal to him. I wish I was never here. I wish I wasn't his sister or my parent's daughter. I wish I could be somebody else.