Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 44

I’m 20. Male. No diagnosis. No meds. Not doing anything dangerous either, just kind of… existing, I guess?? I sleep way too much, but I’m still tired. I eat when I remember. I shower when I absolutely have to. Most days I wake up around noon, stare at the ceiling, then scroll until my phone gets too hot. I used to make plans. Now I cancel everything with the same excuse: "Sorry, not feeling it today." I'm polite about it. Always polite. But it’s a lie, right?? I don’t even know if I’m feeling anything.

I used to think I was just lazy. Like, I’ve always struggled with getting started on things—school projects, job applications, even just laundry. But lately, it’s more than that. I’ll sit down to do something, and my brain just… doesn’t. Like someone unplugged the part that makes me care. My dad says, “You need discipline.” My mom says, “Go outside more.” My friends say, “Just push through it, bro.” Okay, cool. But what if there’s nothing to push with?? What if the battery’s dead and the charger’s missing??

My room’s a mess. Not gross, just... piles of clothes and unopened mail and stuff I keep saying I’ll deal with “tomorrow.” I tell myself it’s fine. I mean, who am I bothering, right?? But every now and then I look around and it hits me—I’m stuck. Not rock bottom, not in crisis, just quietly stuck. Like that quote I saw once: “You’re not drowning. You’re just slowly sinking while smiling at everyone on the shore.” That’s kind of it. I still reply to texts. I still laugh at memes. I still say “I’m good, thanks” when someone asks how I’m doing. But am I?? I don’t know anymore!!!

It’s not all hopeless or dramatic. Some days I get a burst of energy out of nowhere and clean everything and even go for a walk or cook something decent. But it never lasts. It’s like a glitch in the system, not a fix. Then I’m back to lying in bed, scrolling through my camera roll from months ago, wondering why I looked happier in those pictures. Maybe I wasn’t. Maybe I just had better lighting. I’ve thought about therapy but I don’t feel “bad enough” to go. Isn’t that dumb?? Like I’m waiting for things to get worse before I ask for help??

So I guess I’m just wondering… am I lazy or depressed?? Is this what burnout looks like when you don’t even have a job yet?? I’m not trying to be dramatic. I know people have it way worse. I just… I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Or if anything’s wrong at all. Maybe I’m just weak. Maybe I’m just tired. Maybe I need to try harder. Or maybe I need to admit that something isn’t right. I honestly don’t know. If you’ve felt like this before, did it get better?? What helped?? I'm open to answers. Just trying to figure this out without breaking anything.

This morning, I had a weird feeling I can't really explain.

It started as how any usual day starts for me: excruciating mental pain. For the first half of the day, I thought I was done for, just like always. I remembered how much I was harassed and how ugly it got, and I thought I was gonna get found by the person who ultimately ruined my entire life in just one day. I'm pretty sure I said parts of what I can actually say in previous posts, but long story short I was completely done with my goals. I gave up, giving AI little of what was left of my creativity just to see if I can get that old spark back (which is a mistake, but I had zero resource and I was in a block).

Today, however, I felt something different after the second half of the day. I was scrolling through channels trying to crunch down another boring samey Sunday, until I landed on a movie about experiencing the joys of life. It ignited something on me; I looked around my living room, no shortage of something I'm good at: collecting Nintendo controllers specifically. In my living room alone, I found a cyan Wii Remote, a golden Classic Controller Pro, and my NSO 2 GameCube Controller. I looked at my trampoline and at all the free space in my house, and I thought about how much I love to run and exercise freely. I thought about my tastes in food and realized how unique they were--I might hate white condiments, but I love well-prepared anchovy pizza and pineapple pizza, I love drinking frozen matcha and eating loaded potato soup. I sat for a little longer and all of a sudden, I saw a vision of a character sitting beside me like if they were alive. Suddenly, I felt like I really wanted to go to the mall and let myself loose--find out what kinds of stores it had, how many stories, what where the anchors, what was at the food court, playing at a Dave & Busters, just overall letting myself loose and seeing the very appealing design that was the inside of a mall. This interest wasn't just an obligation to keep me stimulated; it was an actual call to return to my old self. I saw the similarities between my favorite (drawing) artists, and I stopped feeling anxious, even if some of these still make me go WTF. I acknowledged that despite their damning similarities, they each bring something new to the table and keeping me to innovate and do the same: follow the same footsteps but bring something new to the table. I even felt like coming up with a plan to start over with my art, presumably just in time for next year's ArtFight.

There's one problem though. I've had similar breakthroughs before, and I don't know how to keep the newfound spark. I'm enrolled in some coding classes that really frustrated me and completely broke on me and I'm pretty sure I failed the assignment because it's past the deadline and the whole program was straight up broken in the professor's end. It got me super mad, and it even blocked my creativity. My spark can easily just disappear.

So I have a question: what would you guys do to keep the spark alive? I do indeed have a plan to redefine what my creativity truly means, but what if more frustrating coding assignments ruin everything for this spark and leave me right where I got started once again?

I'm a 31-year-old male and lately I've been wondering something that sounds almost counterintuitive… is it actually possible to exercise too much? I know it sounds odd—especially in a world where people are generally advised to move more, not less—but I'm starting to feel like my daily regimen is doing more harm than good. My schedule is rigid: weightlifting five days a week, high-intensity interval training three times, and long runs on the weekends. It sounds healthy, maybe even admirable to some, but my body doesn’t feel proud. It feels wrecked. My sleep is erratic, my resting heart rate is elevated, and sometimes, I wake up more tired than when I went to bed. I follow strict macro tracking and ensure hydration and supplementation are on point, yet recovery seems perpetually just out of reach. Isn't that a red flag???

There’s this constant soreness, not the good kind—the kind that doesn’t scream progress but whispers that something might be off. I’ve read and heard about “overtraining syndrome,” a state of chronic fatigue, declining performance, and increased risk of injury. I’m not saying I’ve hit that wall completely, but I do see the signs. My strength gains have plateaued, and in some cases, regressed. My joints ache. My motivation? Fading. There’s no joy anymore in pushing through sets; just obligation. It’s become less about well-being and more about control—about not missing a session out of fear I’ll lose progress. That doesn’t sound like health to me, yet I keep doing it because stopping feels worse. And the question keeps bouncing around in my head like an echo: how much is too much???

Socially, I’m becoming isolated. My friends stopped inviting me to things because they already know the answer: “I have training.” It’s almost embarrassing, the way I’ve structured my life around a routine that’s supposed to make me feel better, stronger, more resilient—but instead, it’s starting to feel like a form of self-imposed imprisonment. And I still can’t tell if I’m doing the right thing! Every time I consider taking a rest week, anxiety hits. What if I lose strength? What if I fall behind? What if I just become… average? I know that sounds dramatic, but when you invest so much time and energy into one goal, the thought of stepping away, even briefly, feels like failure. Still, I ask myself—am I really getting healthier, or am I chasing a standard that doesn’t even exist???

I’ve tried to talk to a few people about this but it’s hard to articulate without sounding weak or obsessive. Fitness is praised in every corner of life now. People admire discipline and grind and consistency. But what happens when those same things become destructive? Can you tell the difference? I can’t anymore. My life looks optimal on the outside, but it’s brittle on the inside. And maybe that’s what worries me most. I used to feel pride in what I was building. Now I feel trapped by it. Have you ever felt that way—like your own habits have turned on you? Like something you loved has started to betray you? I’m not looking for pity, just maybe a perspective. A reality check. Something to help me understand if I’m just burned out or if I’m genuinely hurting myself long-term; because I really can’t tell anymore.

Until you have seen me touch me hear me speak to you in person all your fcking questions and doubts will just be forever doubts. Stop making up stories and move on with your fcking life. I don't wanna be involved with someone who doesn't trust my whole existence.fckijg ass.

Being 27 and having always admired my older brother, who has built a remarkable career, it’s hard to see him struggle to find motivation at work. He's always been the overachiever, the one with the Midas touch in the corporate world. But lately, he seems to have hit a plateau, and it's tearing him apart. He used to love his work, thrived on the challenges that came with being a senior VP at a major tech firm, and could always see the "bigger picture." But now, it’s almost as if he’s lost his "vision board." I'm genuinely at a loss trying to figure out how to motivate him, and I find myself questioning, have I ever been truly motivational myself? 🤔

I've always believed motivation is like that surge of adrenaline that propels you forward. However, it seems my brother has overdosed on it in the past, and now his reserves are empty. Should I remind him of the countless TED Talks we've watched, where experts such as Simon Sinek emphasize the importance of "starting with why"? Would that work, or is it too clichéd? I can't help but wonder what his "why" might be right now. Sharing personal stories can occasionally spark motivation, but whenever I start reminiscing about the days he would narrate how he closed million-dollar deals, he cringes. The memory probably feels like a distant dream. It makes me ponder, can we still ignite the same fire with mere recollections?

"Communication is key" is a phrase that rings in my head, akin to a mantra. But every time I attempt to broach this sensitive subject, he shrugs it off with a dismissive wave and changes the topic to movies or politics. It's puzzling because this isn't the brother I grew up looking up to; he wasn’t one to shy away from hard conversations. I once read in an article by Harvard Business Review that a supportive environment and professional coach could restore dwindling motivation, but suggesting that feels like walking on eggshells. How do you recommend such resources without making it seem like you’re overstepping? Do I suggest books instead? 📚

Perhaps the work-life balance equation needs reevaluating. My brother's career has been marked by unwavering dedication, sometimes at the cost of personal time. I recall instances where family get-togethers were subtly interrupted by work calls, and he pulled away into another room under the guise of "just one email." Reflecting on this makes me question, could this lack of personal downtime have compounded into a formidable barrier against motivation? Recent trends in workplace culture advocate for "mental health" days, and maybe I should encourage him to explore that avenue. But does one just "push pause" on responsibilities without feeling a sense of guilt or abandonment?

In facing such challenges, asking for advice seems natural, yet solutions aren't always clear-cut. Everyone has moments when motivation evaporates like a benign cloud on a breezy day; it’s just my brother hasn't experienced this before. I’ve read countless anecdotes of people who found their zest by exploring new hobbies or volunteering. Perhaps motivating others starts with oneself; sometimes, it’s all about nurturing an intrinsic motivation that circumvents external validation. As I endeavor to support him, I can't help but introspect — am I helping him unveil a hidden facet of his potential, or merely trying to reignite a spark that should burn of its own accord? So, dear reader, any thoughts on how you might navigate this delicate terrain of motivating someone who once knew no limits???

Huh I knew it they are watching me whatever I post here they are reading it 🙄🙄🙄

Talk to me I know you want to talk to me tell me how u feel coz it felt like I'm under someone's wing except it has its good side and bad side lol but hey thanks for the good side I guess

What do men even want in a woman? Seriously?? I’m 33 now and honestly, I’m tired of trying to figure it out. I’ve been polite, patient, understanding, supportive… and still I get ghosted, cheated on, or told “you’re amazing, but I’m not ready.” I’m not trying to be dramatic, I swear, but how many versions of myself do I need to become before one of them is finally enough? I’m not saying I’m perfect—far from it—but I’ve put in the effort. I communicate clearly, I listen, I compromise. And every time, it still falls apart without warning. I get left standing there like, okay… what was I missing this time?

Some of these men said they wanted “a woman who has her life together.” Cool. I’ve got a good job, a decent apartment, hobbies, close friends, and a stable routine. Guess what? Then I’m “too independent” or “intimidating.” One said it felt like I didn’t need him. Isn’t that the point? To want someone, not need them? Others said they wanted kindness, softness, warmth. I gave that. I gave so much of it that I started losing pieces of myself trying to keep them comfortable. Then they’d just… fade out, like it was all too easy. Do men want chaos? Do they want to fix something? Because apparently being emotionally stable isn’t sexy unless you’ve got some sort of crisis attached.

I tried asking. Literally. I’ve sat across from a guy, calmly asking him what went wrong, what he was looking for, what I could’ve done better. You know what I got? “It’s not you, it’s me.” Classic. Useless. Vague. Like he downloaded that line straight out of a break-up simulator. I’ve had exes come back later, saying they messed up, they didn’t realize what they had. But at that point I’ve already done the work to move on. I’m not anyone’s checkpoint on their way to emotional maturity. It feels like no matter how good or balanced I try to be, it’s never the right time, never the right me. I’m seriously starting to wonder if there’s even a version of a woman that actually fits what they want;

I’ve heard men complain about being used, being lied to, being pressured. I get it, truly. Relationships are hard on everyone. But when you show up with honesty and care and still get dismissed like a failed audition, it’s hard not to get cynical. I’m tired of being told I’m “too much” when I show real feelings and “not enough” when I hold back. It’s like there’s some imaginary Goldilocks zone I’ve never been able to reach. So I’m asking—genuinely—what do men want in a woman? Because if it’s not emotional stability, self-sufficiency, loyalty, and clear communication… then what the hell is it?

I’m not angry, just… done pretending this makes sense. If you’re a guy reading this, and you’ve ever broken up with someone like me and couldn’t explain why—do you even know? I’d love to believe it’s not all just about looks or ego or timing, but damn, it’s starting to feel that way. I’ll keep being polite, kind, respectful. That’s who I am. But I’ve stopped bending. I won’t become a puzzle piece just to fit into someone else’s picture. Thanks for listening to this rant. Honestly, I just needed to say it out loud.

i've been feeling all sorts of confused lately. like, I don't know who I am anymore? it's like my identity is all jumbled up, and I can't sort it out. at 24, you'd think I'd have a clearer picture of myself, you know? but nope, here I am, second-guessing every little thing about myself. it's funny, isn't it? we spend all this time growing up and then realize we still have no clue what we're doing. just trying to navigate life with some semblance of purpose 😂;

i guess part of it is the pressure of trying to fit into the mold of what a 24-year-old "should" be. I've got friends who seem to have it all figured out. they know what career they want, where they want to live, and even who they want to spend their life with. and here i am, just... floating? it's like treading water, trying to find something to hold onto. it's not that i'm unhappy or anything. but sometimes, it feels like i'm just playing pretend in this 'grown-up' world. who else has this never-ending identity crisis?!

the weirdest part is how it flips so quickly. one minute, i'm all sorted and confident. the next, i'm questioning everything from my job to my weird taste in music. am i the only one who feels like their personality just never settles? it's like, i'm always trying to catch up with myself. maybe it's just part of the journey, finding bits and pieces until everything finally falls into place. maybe the whole point is in the mix of it all. do you ever feel like life is just a series of random self-discoveries?

anyway, i'm beginning to realize it's okay to change, to not have everything figured out. nobody's got it all together, even if it seems like they do. maybe part of me knowing who i am is accepting the uncertainty and rolling with it. even when it feels like chaos, there's a kind of peace in embracing that chaos, if that makes any sense. i'm just gonna keep going, exploring the parts of myself that make me, well... me. after all, life's too short to worry too much, right?! who knows where this rocky road of self-discovery will lead, but I gotta admit, there's something exciting about not knowing.

So it's summer and the past few school year i have been really burnt out. I got very little sleep, I could barely get out bed i was often overwhelmed and stressed out and i didn't know what to do. There are so many things I want to do this summer with the base line of wanting to improve myself and get out of burnt out. But i didn't really know how to do that. Still don't tbh. So i tried to put some good habits in my routine (waking up naturaly, no screens untill after breakfast, going to bed at around 23 or so, having breakfast outside.) And in the last few days i tried to slowly add a few more like reaching my step count and reading just a few pages before bed. And a i tried 'studying' the pages i've read (basically like i would've If It was school material) and It was actually pretty relaxing + i found It interessing and i wanted to. But somedays, like today i didn't do anything in particular. My sleep Is getting troubled again and i've been going to bed a little later and waking up early and not being able to go back to sleep and Just feeling really panicky and anxious and barely being able to breathe. Like right now. It's 7:45 am and i can't go back sleep. I'm tired and sleepy, everything feels upsetting and too much even going back to sleep Is too hard, i'm too restless and anxious. But i don't know what to do about It. It just feels so horrible because I felt like this, this tired, this stuck, this horrible and anxious for years now. Around 5 year specifically. During and outside school time. And i was getting excited because I thought that It was finally over that this was finally It and that I was finally making progress but i am not. I'm still waking up like this and crying in the middle of the night and i this feel just as bad and i Just feel so stupid because i don't know what Is wrong with me. I've told to talk about, with a loved one maybe, preferably with a professional. I can't quite do either. I tried bringing It up to loved one but they shot me down before i could even finish. And just blamed It on my period. (This happened years ago btw) For the record, This has been going on everyday for 5 years. I know It's not my period. And i'm scared that If i insist It and at the very try to explain the problem will spark an arguement. Or that they'll use It against me. (I'm sure they will.) + Honestly i think they'll just say "It's Just the weather" or "you're too young to have these problems." Like yeah. Cool. I know. How the f. do i solve It then. Help me for f sake. Anyway. As for talking to a professional, that might even be harder. Cause i doubt i could find said professional in the first place. I did try once. I found a therapist that was doing extra hours at my school for some extra money. I brought It up to her. Multiple times. Tried explaining It as clearly as i could. But she Just dismissed It. And It was clear she didn't care. There might. MIGHT be a chance i could maybe find someone else? Somehow. But i doubt i will. I'll try at least. But i'm not sure. I don't see It happening. I'm so tired of this. It's been going on for too long. I just want to feel normal again. Everything Is too much, too tiring, too loud, too bright, too early. And i honestly lost any real enjoyment in everything. Even in things I liked. I can barely sleep right at night cause i either wake up like this or have a lot of nightmares during the night. I've read that sometimes It's about figuring out if you're being true yourself ig? Like if you're actually doing what you really wanted to. If you're actually fullfilling you're 'true desires' and sticking with your values and what truly matters TO YOU or whatever. honestly. Right now? Of the top of my head? No. I'm not. This isn't the school i wanted to go to. This isn't what i wanted to do. This isn't what i wanted to study. And i lie to my family about my true 'goals' after i'm done with school bc i know they'll judge and won't approve. I'm ok-ish in this. But i don't really like It. I didn't really want to do this. And i consired changing multiple times. But It's too late now. So i just gotta finish It. Tbh, i knew i would hate this and regret this when i started years ago. But It's what my family wanted me to do. And i couldn't bring myself to say no. I'm not saying that If I was in another school everything would have been different and miraculously i would've been cured. Maybe i would've hated It too. Maybe i would've felt just as bad there. But at least it would've been my choice. Or maybe i'm Just stupid and all this Is useless. Idk. I Just want to feel better.

It's a bit stupid. And problably not the kind of thing to put here but i need advice and don't know where to ask It+ i Just need to get this out of my head in general. Context: So i met this person on an anonimous site a few weeks ago and they were really nice and they gave me their penpalling email in case i wanted to write them again. I did and we started writing. I tried to write about every four days (cause i swamped with exams) and they wrote back every 2-3 days or so. The last two mails i send how ever were a bit late but bc i was very busy and not feeling well + i wanted the mails to be good and i usually take 2 days to write them and revise them. It's been over 17 days and they still haven't answer my last mail :( , i've been thinking of writing them another mail, at least to make sure they recived It and maybe use some excuse like something to show them or whatever. idk if i should write them again or not though, i wouldn't want to see annoying or pushy about It. I'm also not sure If maybe they haven't answered bc i wrote something wrong ( i re-read It many times and i don't think there was anything wrong with It? I talked about my Plan and my interests like we both usually do + answered their questions and asked some of my own. I revised It a lot and i think It's ok) maybe bc my message was boring and they just got tired, or maybe i didn't ask enough questions? Or maybe they haven't recived It at all?? Or maybe It's completly normal and i'm just being paranoid. Idk.

Why is my laptop being weird 😔 it's like someone is watching me I'm just scared that they might do something stupid it's like they just wanna see me like wth and and am I just paranoid but why do they wanna see me and do stupid sht to my laptop but whenever I double check they dont do anything it's like they just want to watch me talk on cam. Ugghhhhhhh.

Im turning 20 this year

Honestly I dont know what or how to write this but I feel so heavy and frustrated and confused and what not… I don’t feel I live in the present times

All I think about is of the future… i was 8 when I decided i wanna be in the medicine field, today at 20 after giving my entrance exam two years in a row i dont feel that Ive achieved it. I dont come from a very rich family but they have never let me felt that way, my parents even though I didn’t score well were never bad towards me, they supported me even though they dont know anything about this field Im in … my brother is my inspiration of hardwork

But lets talk about me.. i dont know who to go to who to contact who to talk or ask

My family supports me but there’s a thing called being happy and proud of yourself… ive never felt Ive fulfilled myself

Sometimes I just imagine the best conversation in my mind before even talking to someone. I worry people may get hurt people may find me rude or dumb and I just want to be happy again

Happy as I was when I was a kid

I was an extrovert and topped my classes

But now I just lag. My interest weakens when I fail I feel. I dont know if this is gonna help me because as soon as I post this and close this site… it’s all gonna still be there in the back of my mind

I think I need help but I don't even want to. But at the end of the day I know that I am not the one to give up…atleast I have a family who loves me and god always has a plan

But sometimes

It gets heavy

And I can’t cry because im just not able to…. Gosh someone teach me how to cry so atleast these emotions get away

Even for just a while… but I know it’s gonna be back

I want to break free.

I'm 13 and I have had anxiety for as long as i can remember, but it was never extremely bad. But lately (the past 2 weeks) its been really bad. I have been waking up in the middle of the night sweating extremly hard, I had panick attacks alot to, and i'm sick of it. I am seeing therapist for over 4 years, and he helped me alot up until now. Can somebody please help?

I’m with you physically, but your with her lovingly

Why? Why does it hurt? This feeling…..is it heartbreak?, sadness? No. its rejection. I was with you then, bought you food, sponsored your bike rental at burnham, I don’t know why I was suddenly generous, but…when I saw you for the first time, ….i felt….weird. Your eyes were the first thing I noticed, hazel brown….with the light shining back at me. I….was mesmerized. Then your body…lean but not too much, muscles perfectly exaggerated with your tight shirt ,perfect pecks. Its too much….yet I cant look away.. Your voice, deep but soft. With every word you spoke, It felt as if I was back in my elementary days....so focused on what you were saying…

Days pass….we get close, and I still have yet to understand this feeling, I know it though…..love, affection, attraction… but is it really? I cant handle it….fighting the urge to just…wrap you in my arms. And be with you till you leave, why? Why is it so hard to describe? Is it love? Is it affection? Or simple attraction? Why is it that when I think of you my heart skips a beat? WHY…

We talk more, I learn more.

I learned you liked someone…someone I know….whom I stand no chance with. It hurts, I still don’t know WHY. Why is it that I feel different around you, why is it that whenever we talk…I get pulled in and the small talk turns to a full on conversation. So many questions… about what? Obvious affection? a simple crush? …is it more than that?

I hate this feeling, my chest…hurts as if someone died..

When we sat alone in that stage, I felt bliss..happy just to be with you. I didn’t care how many people were staring, I just wanted to be with you….but…I guess you had other plans.

When I was ranting to you then, you listened. You cared.

When we were chatting on messenger a while ago I was just asking if you had my umbrella…I left it the night before, from volleyball practice. You said no and continued to say “huh sorry but I hadn’t taken an umbrella” you then proceed to send a photo with the caption “this Is the only thing I got”. I was confused, what did he get that he had to tell me….the I opened it….two hands intertwined, yours and…..a girls hand?

My heart dropped