Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 46

Hi, I'm a 34 year old female and I live with my grandmother(75), boyfriend(33), and daughter(7). I do everything for my family I cook clean and go grocery shopping. I even take my older brother to the store every week for groceries. I've been through a rough month, the beginning of the month I lost my 14 year old dog whom I've had for 12 years. This was my first Christmas without my oldest brother, who was more like and mom and dad to me. My oldest brother I lost earlier this year to cancer. I've not dealt with it well at all, nor have I dealt with my dog passing. But the past couple days I've been burning out. Like to the point of me not wanting to do anything at all.

I've expressed to my boyfriend I feel burned out. I even told my grandmother I need a break but literally every turn I'm being asked to do something. My boyfriend has a chronic pain problem and it's hard for him to move. I love him regardless but I get annoyed at constantly being asked to get him things. Then my grandmother is always bugging me to do things. Things like her laundry, which I understand I need to do but I'm to a point where I'm beyond stressed. My brother will ask for things and it stresses me beyond what I can handle. The only saving grace in this is my daughter who literally don't ask for much. She will ask me to play a board game here and there but she's normally quiet.

I'm just tired to the point of wanting to tell everyone to do things themselves. To leave me alone for awhile. I know if I actually told them they'd be pissed. Like I'm the only one who clean and I suffer from depression and get these bouts where I don't clean. Which then leads to dishes piling up, trash piling up, cause literally no one will get up and do anything. I'm just so tired and stressed and I don't know what to do. I'm ready to pull my hair out.

No matter what I do they still leave I try to be the perfect boyfriend but it doesn’t matter what I do they leave every time and I’m tired of being abandoned I just want a girl who won’t but I can’t seem to find one I’m tired of them leaving I just want someone to stay someone I can talk too but I can’t.

My girlfriend and I have been going out for the last 8 months and recently I’ve been worried and overthinking things. Over the last 2 weeks I feel as though she has been messaging me less or ignoring me (which I understand with the time of the year she might be busy with her family) and I’ve just been getting in my head about it. We are currently at our individual parents houses for Christmas and I have been eager to talk to her every day and I feel like she has just been messaging me back for the sake of messaging rather than actually wanting to talk to me too. I send replies fairly quickly but recently she has been taking hours to reply to my messages and I’m worried that she is dropping off conversation to make it easier for her to end things with me when we do finally see each other in person on Saturday. I know that this is probably not the case as it has literally only been a week in one of the busiest times of the year to spend with family and not spend all of our time on our phones but I just worry that this is what it’s coming to.

I've been told how to live a life. I've been told the steps on how to have a happy life. I've heard stories of success. After following directions for so many years, I just can't bare it anymore. The things that I've once found joy are now just things to pass time. I can't even complain about my situation to close friends as there's nothing wrong with my life. The only thing that's wrong is me.

I have a family that takes care of me, but that just hurts me more. While I'm in their eyes, I won't let myself die for them. I've told lies to keep them happy and what they want to hear so they don't have to worry. Recently they told me that they were worried for my future as I didn't do anything for awhile. They aren't wrong, I didn't do anything but I just can't bring myself to do anything. I know the things that I'm supposed to do. The expectations that I'm supposed to meet. The person that I should be. I know that they are trying to look out for me but sometimes I wish they would just forget about me. I never have an answer for them when they ask about what I want to do. I usually tell a lie and count the time.

I just want something to bring everything to an end. Something to remove my existence. Something to free me from my own hell. I can see my self-sabotage but that's all I have. To continue doing the same thing that I've done for the entirety of my life. The pain isn't something healthy but it's something. Some days I wish I was numb and to do everything like a machine. How easy things would be to not feel anything.

What would be the thoughts if this was seen on a TV show? Probably mild resentment... "How could you be sad if everything was handed to you?" or "How can you be sad if you got everything that you wanted?"

ive been dating my boyfriend for about a year now and we've had many ups and downs but we have always worked through them. this time it's different, no matter what i do or say, he doesn't want to work through it. in september, he had broken up with me, this lasted for about a month. just as he met other girls, i met other guys. i had fallen into old bad habits and talked to many people knowing i wasn't over him at all, i just felt so empty. i looked for him in everybody i met but it just wasn't the same. at some point after a month, he reached out to me and after some talking, we got back together. he told me the truth about all the girls he met, who he tried to get with, and what he did during that time. even though i did the same, i lied to him about meeting people and only told him about how i missed him and fell into bad habits. i was afraid of him getting upset or jealous so i continued with this. he had somehow found out that i lied to him and i came clean to him about everything. he told me to tell him the full truth in detail and i did just that but he doesn't believe what i say anymore. i wrote him a 3 page letter addressing everything i did and apologizing countless times, after that i wrote him paragraphs of explanations he had ask me for. he keeps asking me for a "real" explanation even though what i explained was the full truth. he tells me i don't know how to love when in reality i love him more than anything and ive done so many things for him that really show the extent to how much i love him. i understand that he doesn't trust me anymore and that he has a right to feel that way. but i feel so ashamed of myself, and im genuinely so sorry for everything, i just don't know what to do anymore. he has been texting me today saying things like "u cant even give me the truth" and i haven't answered him at all. ive been crying about this all day and i feel so depressed about the fact that i really messed things up for good. i dont know what do do anymore, i know that he won't accept what i tell him and i understand completely. i just want to fix everything, but how am i supposed to? sorry this is so lengthy lol

ppl at school tell me to kms and that apparantly im a lesbian even tho im straight (if you dont belive me , you should see mh addiction with ryan Reynolds) and i have a therapy friend , but i'm scared of them (i dont know if its coz they're really cool , or that i look up to them so much -since im so short , quite literally - or if , idk) so i cant alk t anyone , not my family , not really my friends... soo its being bottled up in my head , now i'm a really fucked up person tbh , i'm so touch/care-deprived that i want to be r@ped and m*rdered.... yeah

i am ussaily a kind person. i take care of my family whether it be my adoptive parents and siblings or my biological family. i have always wondered though why doesnt anyone wanna take care of me? you know love me they way i love them. Now i am fine by myself most of the time but sometimes i need love too. i wanna be taken care of i wanna be asked how my day was or how am i today. but its like no one is really worried about me or what am i doing. so for me to be able to feel some kind of love i get into relationships. i was with this one boy who loved me endlessly but there were things in the relatioship i did not like. he didnt want me to be me. he didnt aprrove of my friendships or that i went to parties to drink or nothing. he just wanted me to stay home locked in my room because thats what he liked to do but i personly did not want to because of the fact that its hard for me to keep friends if i dont go out people wont nessacrily care about what i do and he knows that. and maybe he was just trying to protect me but i just couldnt do it there were so many things that differ from us. and so it fissed out after a while. and now i am single and i hear the rumors about me being spread that i cheated on him or that he cheated on me but idk imk confused but i was so desperate for love somewhere i didnt even care if he did cheat on me or not it didnt seem tht big of a deal to me. i just wanted someone to be with me through it all. now i am talking to this boy and i am asking him questions that i didnt ask my ex in the begingg because i am scared this new boy will be the same as my ex. i just want to be loved like truly loved by someone. and i dont know what to do because i do love myself but i am ready to be with someone who loves me to.

Ive been with him for 4 years we have a 2 year old , in the relationship its he who controls and decides, since im 5-6 years younger he said i dont know about life, when we fight its always me fault, if im hurt by his actions i get screamed at for stressing him with stupid stuff. If i buy something i have to run it by him but if i dont but something i new we needed i get screamed at as well, when we fight he make me sit in front of him while he insults be and has me crying for hours , im not allowed to leave that spot or i get kicked out of our apt , sometimes he will just go off and as soon as he is done he eats or sleep then apologizes but it had gotten better since i got a better paying job , and i just go let go 2 weeks before Christmas, the first day he was supportive but buy day 4-5 he been horrible saying i ruined Christmas, he has ignored me for the last week and Christmas Eve, he just gives me nasty looks , and today Christmas, he says i should be gone that i ruined his life , i know what everyone is gonna say , Leave but i have no where , i have no family no dad no mom , i have no friends, my last friends my boyfriend said they weren’t gonna amount to anything and i had to leave him and in my jobs he tell me there not friends that there coworkers and to not share anything about our relationship even tho he come home telling his coworkers tell him to leave me . He is very money oriented , me im not i just try to push hoping money will ease his hate towards me . Any intimacy stoped when my daughter was born cause he gained so much weight that his back give out and will be bed ridden for day , also this weight gained is my fault come if we have any type of snack or bad food he will eat it cause he has no self control and is something i should already know, so here i am Christmas Day crying alone with my 2 year old while he sleeps , i dont even want to eat or sleep cause with no money comming in from my side i feel no lt entitled to anything. Also he would let me get just any job he want it something in the field i studied and geting a job in that field is really hard took me 4 months to land a for the first time.

I'm a teenager and obviously due to hormones alot of teenagers around me were committed to someone but I wasn't.

But one day, I met a girl randomly in a group and we started dating but as time went on

During my first birthday with her, a another character enters! let's name him mike

Mike was my bestfriend but he was in her class, our relationship was private and he didn't knew about it so he started having a crush on her but I told my gf about it and she said she would avoid him but quite the opposite happens. Mike and she used to share hugs with each other and etc ( hugging in my country is a huge deal itself ) and as an obvious teen, I was jealous about it. I talked about it with my girl but she put the blame on me and I was manipulated to think that it was actually mine and i should let her have the freedom. Things went on and she started cheating on me with other guys, even after I told her not to. I broke up with her this April but she went to my friends and told them a fake story which won them over me, It's been 6 months since I have talked with anyone cuz I'm preparing for entrance exams ( SAT and three more ) I have no friends to talk with so i just wanted to say my story to someone atleast cuz nobody believed me in my own circle. Even my other bestfriend left me cuz his crush was my ex's bestfriend.

My mother and I we don't have the easiest relationship. I mean the things are great until they are great. We can't seem to agree on anything. Plus she thinks I am naive and will get mistreated everywhere. I think she thinks I am stupid. She judges me for almost anything and everything, like how I talk, who I talk to, what I talk about. She judges the way I conduct myself, why I speak so much when I literally met my friend after 2 years. I don't know how to deal with this. I think I also I have severe mommy issues. I have a voice inside my head, mostly her voice that tells me that I am wrong, that i every step I take is wrong. So yeah that's my story. I want to change this narrative and I want to become a person of my own free of from all prejudices that my mother has set for me. I want to be free. What would you guys do if you would in a situation like this?

My wife constantly lets her depression rule over her more often than not. And I know that she has zero control over any of that, but that's not what bothers me. What does is when she spirals, suddenly everything I've done for her, all the good and happy memories we've shared, the adventures we've gone on, doesn't mean anything and she'll say things such as "My whole year has been wasted and fucking pointless" and it just makes me feel so fucking small... Like no matter what I do, it's not enough to make her see the light in the dark even when the dark isn't that dark....

Every single time i go shopping online , i end up buying nothing. Something like paralysis on analysis. When i take help from a family member, he end up buying even more disappointing deal cause he dont have patience . Family members who have patience don't know how to shop online. I am student with hectic study schedule, exams,deadlines . I barely get time to sleep. And being from middle class i dont have luxury to buy what ever i want without looking at price. I have to go through a lot of options for best price before actually buying . Its frustrating.

We dated for so long and i loved him so much and he loved me and we were absolutely perfect together he told me he’ll love me forever then decides to break up with me and it hurts so much watching him move on and love someone else and forget about me like what about me what about what we had was i not special to you how could you do this to me i just want you

I'll try to express my feelings as clear as possible (my mind usually goes blank when I go and try to type stuff), and I'm sorry if I might come of as rude or inconsiderate, it really isn't my intention. Trigger warning of dark thoughts mentioned, if that's appropiate.

I'm particularly a young person, at the end of my teenage years, and I feel that life hasn't been going so well. I do well academically, even have that fame of people expecting good stuff about me, yet it has been a long time I have felt any proud for this. Thing is that I am lonely, and have been this way pretty much since the start of my social life. I am not in the position of being bullied, which I am grateful to be. Actually, people are usually nice to me, but that's the limit. Nobody has been interested in becoming friends with me. I was fine with it before, but it has been hurting more and more as time passes. I have tried many times to make social interactions, which is a huge step for me—it takes a lot of courage for me to go out and expose myself, because I tend to be socially anxious. These just end up as simple, friendly conversations, and sometimes even embarrassing. After I try to keep contact with them, they just seem like they aren't that interested in forming a friendship. I know it IS a process, but it is hard to keep it up if you sense the other person not wanting to get into it.

Life in my school has been very simple, I just try to be a good student and be cool with everyone. However, people only get to acknowledge me when they need something, and sometimes I feel like I'm the last choice for that. Hell, I sometimes even feel like a robot following commands. If I am honest, all my school life just feels like a cycle. I wake up, prepare and go to school, receive classes (that's just it), and head back home to sleep and start a new loop. This cycle has gotten me tired lately, and it is hard to try to break it, since I can't make it any more interesting. Unlike other schools, mine doesn't have any clubs, and I can't really talk to any of my classmates, because they have grown up with this picture of me being quiet and unapproachable, and it hurts to be seen that way.

My life at home isn't that good also. I try to finish my homework rapidly, and then try to see what to do with my free time. Most of my free time has been spent learning about math and coding, which I love, so they have been my main time wasters. There's not much I do after that. I have online friends, but I feel severely disconnected from them. About my family, I love them, but I don't think I can talk to them about this, and I have reasons for that. My father is my closest familiar, but he doesn't like me expressing vulnerability, and let's not even mention my mother. She says she loves me, but I have felt that she just gives me what I need to live, and doesn't teach me about how to do stuff myself, like cooking or washing properly. She is a real angry person when (easily) provoked, and uses everything given to her against others, honestly I have felt like a burden to her.

Sometimes the whole idea of feeling lonely brings me to dark places. I start to question if people would miss me if I was gone. I have no intentions to do anything against myself, but I sometimes do wonder. I feel like a ghost in this world. No matter how hard I try to form bonds, these break apart. There aren't many options for me, either. My parents restrict me doing a lot of stuff that is usually advised in these cases. Sometimes it feels that I have no one in this world, that I am unlovable. I have to keep all my hardships within myself because I don't have anyone. And about the idea that forming connections as an adult is harder, brings less hope for me. It is all just so confusing, and so hurtful. You feel that you cannot connect with anyone, and don't know why. I sometimes wonder if I wasn't supposed to be in this world, that I don't fit here. It feels that you are the odd one out, in an ocean of perfectly aligned pieces of a whole jigsaw puzzle. I just stand here and wish I was "normal."

I sincerely don't know, I feel like it would be nice to have someone who can do stuff and talk with me from time to time, and not by obligation. I just hope someday I get to meet someone, and for it to actually work, for a first time in years. Hopefully my life in college will be better if I place effort on it. It would be nice to hear if someone here can relate to these feelings, and if you want to talk about it, I'm all ears. Even though I am an introvert, being alone all of my time sometimes gets to me. Any advice to my situation is welcomed. I hope you have a nice Christmas Eve, I'll try to have one.

I have been struggling with negative thoughts for a couple of years now due to school trauma and bullying. In 12th grade, I had to stop attending school because I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Since then, it has been difficult for me to keep up with people. My mom doesn’t know how to help me. I was forced to transfer schools and pay for the whole semester, even though I only sometimes attended school for one or two days. My mom thinks I'm not trying, but I badly want to graduate, and it hurts when they call me lazy and say I don’t have the will to get better.

I used to be an honor student, but because of the harmful effects of what others did to me, I no longer recognize myself. I have engaged in self-harm in various ways and had to live alone. My mom thought that by sending me to a city alone, I would feel better, but it only made things worse.

I met my boyfriend, who helped me cope and inspired me to try again. I enrolled in pharmacy for two months and fell in love with it. My classmates were very kind to me, but I realized my struggle was mostly internal. I couldn’t control the thoughts of others or stop wondering if they hated my existence. I would suddenly leave the laboratory and cry at home, feeling weak. Now, I’m forced to study accounting online, which I also struggle with because I was a STEM student and find business courses difficult.

Nevertheless, I want to study pharmacy again if only I were given another chance. That field makes me feel truly fulfilled, and I believe I can thrive in it if given the opportunity.

Regarding therapy, I recently received my psychological evaluation results, and they disappointed me a little. The results were very clear, and I paid a lot for them. Now, I was told I can book a session only once or twice a month. From this schedule, I’m unsure if I can truly get better. Is this how it works?

As of now, I feel like I’m just waiting for an opportunity. I feel not good enough, and I'm dying everyday as I’m turning 20 soon.