Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 66

My mom recently told me to “save myself” and get out of my relationship — essentially, to run. Ever since, I can’t stop thinking about it.

My partner and I have been together for just over 4 years. He proposed about a year ago. We’ve had highs and lows, but now I’m wondering if the bad outweighs the good.

He has long-standing mental health struggles: specifically, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Complex PTSD, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. He’s been slowly learning to manage them better. And to be clear, I don’t think mental illness excuses poor behavior, but I do believe it adds context.

I also have my own issues — I have an anxious attachment style, and while I’ve never been formally diagnosed with anything else, I know I carry some of my own trauma.

My mom knows about some of the incidents we’ve gone through. Sometimes, when he’s triggered or overwhelmed, he shifts into a cold, mean, and distant version of himself. He feels like a different person — which makes sense, given the DID. I try my best to support him and stay patient, but when these episodes last for days, it really affects me. I stop feeling loved or even seen.

He also sometimes talks to new people — sometimes romantically, sometimes not. We’ve had an open relationship on and off because his personality changes have made consistent boundaries complicated. But it’s hard not to feel insecure or like I’m being replaced, even though he says he loves me deeply and always will.

When he shuts down, he leaves. He won’t respond to texts or calls for hours or whole evenings. During the worst of these, I’ve called my mom in tears. Once, I asked him about someone he was messaging, and he exploded. He called me stupid, said I wasn’t “evolved enough” for him, and that he needed someone who trusts and motivates him. That crushed me — I was only asking for reassurance.

After these moments, he usually comes back, apologizes, and says he’s working on changing. He’s loving again, and we go back to “normal.” But it’s a cycle. The dark side always returns.

My mom thinks this is manipulation. She says he’s using me — I pay for most of our life right now, since he’s in school. She believes he apologizes just enough to keep me around because I support him financially and emotionally. She hasn’t seen the best parts of him… but she also hasn’t seen the worst. And if she knew everything, I think she’d try to physically get me out of here.

So now I’m left wondering:

• Is he being emotionally manipulative and possibly abusive?

• Or is this just a deeply broken person doing his best and deserving patience?

• Is my mom being overprotective, or is she seeing something I’ve been too close to recognize?

I’m stuck between wanting to support the person I love and wondering if staying means abandoning myself. What would you do?

It’s been 7 months since we broke up and I still miss him. Like really miss him. And it’s not just at night when everything’s quiet and the world slows down, it’s in the randomest moments too. Like when I’m walking home and pass that pizza place we used to go to, or when a song we both loved comes on shuffle, or when I hear someone laugh that sounds like him. I swear I’ve tried everything. I deleted our pictures, muted him on socials (I couldn’t bring myself to block him yet), threw away the hoodie he left at my place… but still, he’s in my head like a ghost. I don’t wanna be that girl who’s stuck in the past, who talks about her ex like she doesn’t have anything else going on. But no matter what I do, he keeps comin back in my thoughts.

We were together for two years. And I know, that might not sound like forever, but when you're in it, it feels like forever. He wasn’t just a boyfriend—he was my best friend. The person I texted about everything, the one I wanted to see first when something good happened, or when my world was crashing down. We had inside jokes and stupid routines and all the things that make you feel like this is it, this is the person. And then suddenly, it wasn’t. We broke up because we wanted different things, or at least that’s what we told ourselves. But I think deep down it was just that he stopped trying, and I got tired of begging for effort. It wasn’t one big fight. It was a slow death.

Even though I know the relationship wasn’t healthy near the end, I still miss the good parts. The way he held me when I cried, how he remembered how I took my coffee, the little drawings he’d leave in my notebook when I wasn’t looking. And yeah, I miss the physical stuff too—his arms, his smell, the way he’d kiss my forehead when he thought I was asleep. It’s like I’m grieving someone who’s still alive, just not mine anymore. And that sucks more than anything. Cuz he’s out there, probably fine, probably moved on. And I’m still here wondering if he ever thinks about me like I think about him.

I’ve gone on a few dates since, tried to put myself back out there, but it all feels... flat. Like I’m comparing them to him without meaning to. I don’t want to do that, it’s not fair to them or to me. But my heart still has his fingerprints on it, and I don’t know how to wash them off. People keep telling me time heals, and maybe they’re right, but no one talks about what to do during the time. The hours that drag. The nights you wake up hoping it was all a dream. The urge to text him “I miss you” even though you know it’ll only make things worse. I’ve typed that message more times than I can count and deleted it every time.

So if you’re askin how to stop missing your ex, I don’t really have a perfect answer. I’m still learning. Still tryna unlearn the love I gave so freely. What I can say is… let yourself feel it. Don’t rush to fill the space with distractions or someone new. Sit with the ache, ugly cry if you need to, write letters you’ll never send. Talk about it. Get it out. But also, don’t let it define you. You’re still whole, even without them. You existed before them, and you’ll exist after. I’m starting to remember who I was before we met, and even though that girl feels far away, I’m trying to reach her again.

Some days are better than others. I still miss him, but I also miss me. The version of me that wasn’t waiting for a text, wasn’t second guessing her worth. So maybe the trick to stop missing your ex isn’t really about them. Maybe it’s about finding yourself again, piece by piece. And maybe one day, I’ll look back and smile, not because it didn’t hurt, but because I healed anyway.

Let me start with a little background. I used to live in a small town, this is where I met my best friend- let’s call her Purple cause her favorite color is purple. I’ve known her practically my whole life. Her family moved pretty far away in my 8th grade. I have since moved from this town as well in my 9th grade. But we still live really far apart. So a lot of our relationship has been over the phone. We made an effort to visit one another once a year. And we’ve been pretty good about it. In college, we became busy and not able to talk as much, but we were still besties. We have both graduated college, and while I’m working to go to grad school, she went on a mission( Mormon). And I’m proud of her for following her heart, but I have long since left the religion. It’s never been a problem in the past. And it wasn’t a problem until a few weeks ago. Cause even though we aren’t directly related, she would still call me occasionally on their P-day. This is technically against the rules. She said I was basically her sister and family and that it was fine! That made me feel really special. And so we would chat on Monday! But then one day she sent me a voice note saying we couldn’t call anymore because she felt she wasn’t progressing as a missionary and that the spirit told her she was breaking the rules. So we could only send voice notes. And I know it’s not personal- but it really hurt my feelings. I have since told her it hurt my feelings and that I’m scared we’ll grow distant if we can’t call for a year. She says it’s just as hard on her but there’s nothing she can do about it and that she still loves me and is there for me. But I can’t help but still feel like she made an ultimatum that was unnecessary between me and religion. And that I wasn’t as special anymore. I’m not sure what to do with these feelings. I know she’s not going to change her mind and I’m kinda angry at her for even doing this, but I don’t want anything to change between us. Any advice?

so I have a lil crush on my friend Katy (I swear I've vented about her too much)

today she emailed me

and...

she asked if I would want to kiss her.

I do like her, but not THAT much, like I'd be fine with a kiss on the cheek but anything else is just a no for me

I'm just not ready for that

but Idk how to say it bc I don't want to upset her...

what do I do?

So on Saturday I went to Solo and Ensemble (music event) (I GOT SUPERIOR) and when I went into the high school's gym to practice my friend W was in there. We started goofing off, and he connected his phone to my speaker I was using for my piano accompaniment and started playing a song called "Brain Implosion Energy".

I added the shortened version to my playlist and have been listening to it on loop.

BIG mistake.

It's stuck in my head.

Just imagine, talking to your friends, but your head is playing over and over: "brain implosion energy ten thousand grams of pure caffeine cuz you cant overthink if your heart stops brain implosion energy ten thousand grams of pure caffeine just drink and drink and drink until you drop I love my brain implosion juice it makes my brain go RRRRRRR" For all eternity. Just playing over and over in that high-pitched bubbly vocaloid voice.

IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE.

I've been workin at the same company for over four years now, and honestly, it still feels like I'm the odd one out. I’ve done my job, stayed late when needed, never caused any trouble, but still… something feels off. Like, when I walk into a room, conversations pause for a sec. When there’s a group lunch or afterwork drink thing, I’m always the last to hear about it—if I even hear at all. I try to tell myself it’s just in my head, but man, it keeps happening. It’s not that they’re openly rude or hostile, but there’s a vibe, you kno? Like I’m not really part of the team, just someone they have to tolerate. And the worst part is, I don’t even know what I did wrong.

I’ve tried to be nice. I smile, I say good morning, I ask people how their weekend went. Some just nod, others give half replies and walk off. Meanwhile I see them having inside jokes, sending memes in the group chat I’m barely part of, planning lunch together while I sit alone at my desk pretending not to notice. It’s draining. I’ve wondered a million times if it’s something about my face, my voice, the way I talk. Am I too quiet? Too weird? Maybe I came off as stuck-up when I first joined and now they just kept that opinion. But I swear I didn’t do anything to deserve this cold shoulder treatment. It’s like being invisible and watched at the same time.

Meetings are even worse. I’ll share an idea, and it’s like no one hears it—until someone else repeats the same thing five minutes later and suddenly it’s brilliant. I’ll send a message in the team chat, and no one replies, but the same question from someone else gets five thumbs-up and a laughing emoji. I keep my head down, keep doing the work, and still feel like I don’t belong. When there’s group work, I get picked last, like school all over again. It’s not even subtle. I once walked into the break room and heard my name—then silence. I smiled and said hey anyway, and they just mumbled and walked out. I felt so dumb standing there, pretending I didn’t feel that.

I’ve thought about leaving. So many times. But I’ve built things here. I’ve worked on good projects, had moments where I felt proud. And starting over somewhere else? Scary. What if the same thing happens there? What if it's not them—what if it’s me? That thought haunts me more than anything. Like maybe I’m just not likable. Maybe there’s something wrong with me that I can’t see but everyone else can. I try to fix things. I joined their stupid fantasy football league even though I hate it. I brought donuts on a Friday. No one even said thanks. I keep tryin and tryin, but nothing changes. It’s exhausting.

Sometimes I just wish someone would tell me the truth. Even if it hurt. Just say, “Hey, you’re too blunt” or “You don’t listen enough” or something. At least then I’d know what to work on. But this silence, this fake politeness? It’s worse. It’s like death by a thousand cuts. I don’t want to be the guy everyone avoids. I don’t want to feel like this. I’m just trying to work, to have a few decent connections, maybe a friend or two. But here I am, four years in, and I still eat lunch alone most days. So yeah, maybe people don’t like me. I wish I knew why. I really do.

Yo everyone, so I’m 21, and I’ve been with my girlfriend, Sarah, for like a year now. She’s awesome—funny, cute, and we vibe so well. But there’s this thing that’s been bugging me, and I feel kinda weird even typing it out. Sometimes, when we’re, y’know, getting intimate, she feels… loose? Like, not all the time, but enough that I’ve noticed. I ain’t trying to be a jerk or anything, I love her to death, but it’s got me wondering what’s up. Is it me? Her? Something else? I’ve been too embarassed to bring it up with her, so I figured I’d write it out here to make sense of it. Maybe someone’s got answers.

First off, I did some research—yeah, I Googled it, don’t judge. Turns out, there’s a ton of reasons this could happen. Like, women’s bodies are mad complex, and stuff like arousal, hormones, or even just where she’s at in her cycle can change how things feel down there. I read that when a girl’s super turned on, her muscles relax more, which can make things feel less tight. Sarah and I have a great time together, and she seems into it, so maybe that’s it? But then I also saw some stuff about pelvic floor muscles. Like, if they’re weak or something, it can affect tightness. I don’t know if that’s her deal, but she’s pretty active—yoga, running, all that—so I’m kinda skeptical. Still, it’s got me thinking maybe it’s just natural variation or whatever.

Then there’s the awkward part where I gotta look at myself. I ain’t no expert in the bedroom, but I’m not clueless either. Still, I wonder if I’m doing something wrong. Like, maybe I’m not getting her as excited as I think? Or maybe it’s my size or technique or whatever. I hate even thinking that, ‘cause it makes me feel like I’m not enough. Sarah’s never complained, and she seems happy, but my brain’s over here spiraling. I saw some posts online from other dudes saying they noticed the same thing, and a lot of ‘em said it’s normal, just depends on the day or the mood. But then you got those sketchy forums where guys start blaming their girls, and I’m like, nah, that ain’t it. Sarah’s amazing, and I’m not about to make this her fault.

Another thing I stumbled on was how stress or health stuff can play a role. Sarah’s in college, same as me, and she’s always juggling classes, her part-time job, and family drama. Sometimes she’s so stressed she barely sleeps. I read that stress can mess with your body in all kinda ways, including how your muscles work. Plus, she’s on birth control, and I saw that can affect lubrication or even muscle tone for some girls. I don’t know if that’s true, but it’s got me wondering if it’s not about “loose” but just her body reacting to life. I feel bad even stressing about this, ‘cause she’s got so much on her plate, and here I am overthinking something that might not even be a big deal. Maybe I just need to chill and focus on making sure she’s feeling good, y’know?

At the end of the day, I love Sarah, and this ain’t gonna change that. I’m probably making it a bigger deal than it is. I mean, every time’s not gonna feel the same, right? Bodies are weird, and I’m learning that’s just how it goes. I’m thinking about talking to her about it—not like accusing her or anything, but just being real, like, “Hey, I noticed this, you ever feel different too?” I don’t wanna make her self-conscious, so I gotta figure out how to say it right. For now, I’m gonna keep being supportive and stop tripping over stuff I can’t control. If anyone’s got advice on how to bring this up without being a total idiot, I’m all ears. Love’s worth figuring this out for.

the girl i liked... said I'm like a "little sister" to her.

I don't know how to feel... i mean, this means she holds affection for me in a way, right? but it's not the way i wished it was... but i am heartbroken, how will i look at her again knowing im a "little sister"? how weird would it be for a "little sister" to tell her she's in love with her? I don't want it to be creepy, but damn!

maybe it's because im autistic? because i like to jump around, play games, collect toys and make silly little noises? i am an adult, working and paying stuff, but I'm still so childish in a way. people have told me I'm cute like this, and i thought this was a good thing... but now, i see that it might be the reason the woman i loved sees me as nothing more than a "funny little sister".

i feel so stupid. i will have to get over this, somehow, but for now i just feel stupid...

This is a story about my friend. She was married and then she got divorced from her spouse. They divorced because he cheated. Well, just like most stereotypes, he married the woman he cheated with. It's been several years since the divorce, so now my friend and her ex are on good terms.

My issue (and why I need advice) is about the fact I found out my friend is actually sleeping with her ex husband. He's married still to wife #2. She told me how they're in love and how they try and sneak off any chance they get to hook up.

I don't feel comfortable with that and now knowing all about it. I don't think it should matter that his current wife is the woman he cheated with the first time and now he's cheating on her. Cheating is wrong. Two wrongs don't make a right.

What should I do? Should I do anything at all?

I’m autistic and probs have chronic pain I asked my mum if I could get a walking stick so I could walk home by myself and she got rlly upset and mad at me for wanting to not be in pain byeee

I’m 23f and I’ve never had any sexual or romantic experience (no holding hands or talking stage). It just never happened for me. Most of my life I didn’t really care or pay attention to it, but it’s like I “woke up” about two or three years ago and looked around and realised I’m so behind everyone else my age. Since then I’ve been trying and failing to do something about it and it’s been affecting my mental health really badly. I can be pretty socially anxious but I’ve been trying to work on that. I’ve been trying to go out more and meet new people, but every time I’ve approached a guy I’ve been rejected. I know that happens and maybe I’ve just had bad luck, but it really messed with my self-esteem as well. I’m not particularly attractive but I try to work with what I have. All that affected my mental health really badly and turned my inexperience into a massive insecurity, making me embarrassed and feel that it’s “too late” now. I see it as a proof that no one found me desirable before. It’s gotten so bad I’m even avoiding my friends now because I feel like I’m so much worse than them. Now I’m worried that even if I do find someone I could get along with, he’s going to be weirded out and turn me down because of it.

man it's been like 2 months and i still think about her every single day. like not even just once or twice, but all day long, like a song stuck in my head that won’t shut up. we broke up, yeah, and i know she’s gone and probly already movin on but i can't. i keep thinkin about the way she used to laugh at my dumb jokes, or how she’d hold my arm when we walked down the hall at school. i miss the lil things the most, like how she’d say "you're dumb" when i’d say somethin stupid but then smile right after. it’s dumb, i know, but even when i'm playin games or chillin with the boys, she just pops into my head like she still got space in there. nd it sucks man. feels like i'm stuck in this loop of memories and i can’t find the off switch.

i thought maybe after a few weeks i’d be fine, like i’d stop feelin all this crap. but nah, it’s still here. it hits hardest at night, like when i’m just layin in bed lookin at my phone, scrollin old messages like a loser. i kno i should delete them, fr, but i can’t bring myself to do it yet. even her name still pinned in my chat list, even tho we haven’t talked since the day she ended it. i don’t even kno what i did wrong exactly, she just said she "needed space" and that was it. like how do u go from talkin every day to nothin?? i keep thinkin maybe if i said somethin different or was less clingy or more chill, maybe she’d still be here. i’m not sayin i was the perfect bf or nothin, but i really liked her. maybe too much. maybe that’s the problem.

some of my friends say “bro, just move on, there’s other girls” but they don’t get it. it wasn’t just about havin a gf, it was her. she was the first girl i really opened up to, like really told stuff i don’t even tell my fam. and now she’s gone and i feel like a piece of me is gone too. school’s harder, i don’t even care about it anymore. food don’t taste the same. i stopped writin in my notebook, which i used to love doin. even music don’t hit the same now, every love song just makes me feel worse. nd it ain’t like i can talk to anyone for real about this. if i say too much, i get clowned. if i say nothin, i just sit with it alone. i wish she knew how much she still means to me. but i can’t tell her that, cuz i don’t wanna sound desperate. and maybe she don’t care anyway. maybe she’s happy now and i’m just here being stuck.

i dunno what to do. like i wanna move on but i also don’t wanna forget her. she was a big part of my life, even if it was short. nd maybe one day i’ll look back and laugh or feel nothin but right now it hurts like hell. i wish someone would just tell me how to stop thinkin about her. how do u stop missin someone who used to feel like your whole world? i try to distract myself, i try to be cool, but it don’t help. i just hope this feeling goes away eventually. i hope i get to the point where i think of her and it don’t make my chest hurt. cuz right now? it hurts. it really does. and it’s crazy how someone can leave and still be everywhere in your head.

Long story short ish - last month my girlfriend fucked this dude I have disliked for years and I can’t lie I’m really down about it all 🥲

Apart of me saw it coming but it still hit like a hard slap in the face and I can’t stop thinking about it all!

Sort of came to this app to try and talk about things seeing if it would make me feel better 😆 that’s the tea

I have two friends in this story, I'll call them X and A I guess.

yesterday, X seemed to be mad at us and ignoring us (like, getting really ticked off if we even looked at something behind them). We both thought it was just because they were tired and whatnot, because they have openly said it's usually how they act when they are. But it just seemed like they straight up hated us from a lot of the (kind of petty tbh) things they did (block us from the story we were all making, stuff like that) and it kind of scared me.

both me and A are autistic (I'm more hyper aware while A has a lot more trouble with social cues than I) so sometimes we miss it when we do things that hurt our friendships and other kinds of relationships. We have to ask people what we've done wrong in order for us to find it and fix it, but a lot of times people like X take it the wrong way and think that we think we did nothing wrong when in reality we want to take acountability, but just have no clue what we've done and need help finding it. However, with X we can't do so when they're trying to be distant from us because it triggers them to say something sarcastic or even rude (we have talked to X about this before, I'm not sure if they were really listening or not in the moment though)

Yesterday, while they were doing all that I unnintentionally went nonverbal whenever I was alone with them because I was honestly very scared. I have no clue how to comfort or help people, and when X is like this I never know what to say because even asking if they're okay or how their day was just ends in them saying sarcastic things and ignoring me. At some point they began talking to me again, and at some point they mentioned how I talk too much and how it's annoying. In that moment I kind of wanted to just break down because for the past few months I had been going nonverbal and not talking a ton a lot more (due to a lot of people talking about something related to my trauma without really knowing) so it felt really hurtful. And even before then I only said things I thought they found funny or enjoyed.

This morning, I woke up to messages in the groupchat with A and X. A was infodumping about one of his biggest hyperfixations and seemed really exited. Then, X texted "this is why I hang out with (person) more lately, this is all you talk about". And while I understand how it can get boring to hear the same thing constantly, it just didn't really feel right. I guess A didn't pick up on what the message really meant and started joking around and messaging random pictures (both me and him cope with jokes, I'm just not sure if A picked up and started joking around to cope or just overall didn't pick up).

I'm not really sure how to feel. X is my childhood friend and they mean a lot to me. I worry every night that something bad might happen to them (as everyone in my friendgroup is very mentally unwell) and cry myself to sleep thinking of a world without them or any of my other friends. As much as I think I might be overeacting, I'm not at all jealous of the other friend that X wants to hang out with. it's more of I can't stand X being mad at me and not knowing why. I want to be able to fix it but I'm really really scared to ask due to how X has reacted many times in the past (stuff like this has happened a lot, for most it was over really small things like me missplacing something, but I still understand these reactions) and I'm really scared something might happen to them or A. I've almost relapsed because of how stressful it all is after being almost two months clean, and I haven't seen my therapist yet and won't be able to talk to them for another four days.

At this point though, I'm questioning if this friendship is good for either of us. If I'm doing tis type of stuff without knowing and they don't want to tell me/A then I don't think that they should stay friends with the both of us as it may be hurtful for them. I really wish them all the best though, and I wish they would tell me what I've been doing wrong. I could have missed a lot of stuff from that day though because the previous night was really horrible and I hardly got sleep. I really hope that they tell me because I want to talk to them again like we did before. I'm really concerned for them but have no idea how to help them because (A) I'm not a proffessional and could make things worse and (B) anytime I try to they ignore me and get sarcastic. I really want to help them, I just don't know how because they're going through a lot and have a lot of undiagnosed dissorders that affect a lot of their life because they're untreated.

I also have a hard time explaining to A what most of X's comments and such mean. For example, A will be randomly talking about something they like and X will hit them with the "Nobody cares". A will completely belive they're joking (because thats what their relationship has been up until a few months ago I guess) and X gets really annoyed.

Another thing that X does when they're mad at us is misgender us. They'll still be okay with working with us and such, and seemingly be OK with us, but then they do this. I don't think that even they understand, but this really hurts. Both me and A are transgender, and for me personally because of how long I've know X, they were the first person I told. I trusted them a ton with the information and belived that they would be Ok with me being transgender. Over time though, I've regretted telling them. They still have my deadname saved for all of their contacts, and will openly see me as who I used to be while everyone else (even the people I've known since preschool) sees me for who I currently am. X also does the same for A, which is really annoying considering that they were outed and unnaccepted about a month prior. Exept for A, X will outright use his deadname during conversations plus the incorrect pronouns whereas it only took them about a week to get it right for me, and they've known me a lot longer (three years). both me and A are very dysphoric and are very open about it to X.

At this point, i have no clue how to approach or help X anymore because as much as they talk about me and A not caring, when we try to help them and ask how they're doing all we get is comments like "I'm fine, what do you think." and when we try to use a different approach to help we get similar comments. I've been trying to give them room to be themselves, but they keep shutting down thoughts and ideas that aren't their own. they also make fun of us, but whenever we try to match their seemingly 'playful' jokes they ignore us for the rest of the hour.

Both me and A also have a hard time socializing "normaly" which is also what X is more used to. X also became a lot more different when they started spending hours watching shorts, and from what they've sent me in the past they're on the 'offensive memes' side. I know whats over there and I know it's only a matter of time before they become sexist and such (they already are in a way, they'll block girls specifically just because they're 'ugly'). I honestly can't tell the difference between wether something they say is actually offensive or a 'normal' joke.

Also, both me and A are open about things that would be important to the freindship like how bad we are at social cues (specifically A) and triggers and whatnot (so is X).

No clue how I wrote that much, and I'm pretty convinced I'm overreacting. Just needed to get that out I guess, thanks for reading that all if you did (I don't blame you if you didn't thats like eight paragraphs, not even I would read it all tbh).

I have an abusive mom(both emotionally and physically) And whenever I vent about it, everyone gives her a free pass just because she gave birth to me.

I'll use a conversation I had with my friend a bit ago as an example.

So I was venting to my friend a few weeks ago about my mom, and it was going fine. They were trying to be comforting, and reassuring, ect. But then at the end of it they started talking to me about how I should never cut her off. They said in these exact words: "I know she's not the best mother ever, but she gave you life. Every day she makes sure you have food and water, and a roof over your head. So when you get older, you should still take care of her and keep her in your life" And I guess I just got really angry at this.

Yeah she makes sure I have food and water, but isn't that the bare minimum? She is never there for me emotionally, has never said "I'm proud of you", calls me a useless piece of shit, manipulates, hits me for random reasons, and ect. And I don't think that I should completely ignore all of it just because she's my mom. And why should I take care of her when she's older when she never takes care of me now? I know I should probably be grateful that I'm alive because of her, but I really don't feel like I owe her anything. It's not like I wanted to be born or something.

When I get older I really just want to cut her out of my life and not see her again. I'm sorry if that's selfish, but I don't think I can be happy otherwise.