Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 65

Basically at my high school we all have majors, I am a tech major. We have this project that’s due nearing the end of the year. The project being creating a mechanical or electrical work of your own. The issue is, I’ve never managed to do anything good at all for this project. It’s my senior year and know they’re asking me to do 2 of them and I just can’t. I feel so ashamed and like such a failure of a person because I can’t do what everyone else can. In my freshman year they just stuck me with another group because I couldnt fucking do anything right. They always act like I’m supposed to be this genius and I’m just an idiot. And since now I’m a senior they won’t accept anything that isn’t “senior quality” and it’ll be a zero. I fucking hate my life and this school I don’t why I haven’t given up yet. I’m tired of not being good enough.

(i posted a rant before this one called 'long distance sucks' and im here with another related to that)

just for over view- im in a long distance relationship with someone who i was best friends with for a year. hes amazing btw, hes so cool, i learn so much from him, hes smart, tall, handsome, incredible OH GOD I LOVE HIM A LOT! hes just so fucking perfect. he loves me the same, he helps me in anything i need (hes a year older), he tells me how much he loves me everyday, he tries his best to be the best version of him for me (hes already the bestest), he cares for me a lot, he tells me whats wrong and whats right. hes really fun, we have the same type of sense of humour so we joke around a lot of anything and about each other and dont get offended. i love him a lot- hes truly everything i ever need.

im a very sensitive person even though i show myself as strong. he knows how sensitive i am so he takes extra care of him and worries whenever im a little off. he comforts me. he tells me how amazing i am and how strong i am. he handles me like no other. in short he knows how to get me going during my breakdowns.

but idk if im being enough for him. idk if i really provide him the support he needs. i give me all! whenever hes sad or low or down about things i literally give my everything to make him feel good even with his "men are strong" approch. me being the extra sensitive one in this relationship makes me think that im never really enough for him when hes sad. i wrote him 7 pages, 2-3 paragraphs and delivered him my perfume, hair tie and a short letter. i just want him to be happy the way he makes me but i just think im falling less somewhere or maybe im just feeling this way because we are in long distance. i just love him so much that i know no end on letting him go and i fear that im not being a good girlfriend.

Sorry for bad grammar in advance english isn’t my native language! And sorry for this beinf so long im bery goot at yapping not good at story telling.

So I have this friend group of four people, lets say my friends are A, B and C. So A is my bestfriend i’ve known my whole life and B and C i met trough her in 2023. My friend A has this job of handing mail out once a week, shes also been sick with the flu for the past few days. So today she asked in our gc if someone wanted to come with her on her route cause its very bad weather today raining and so on. And i answered first and asked at what time was she planning on going, and she said around 3pm and i thought for a second and decided maybe not going cause im gonna be on a walk with our dog right around then and i have work from 9pm-2am so i wanted to take a nap before work. And then my other friend B said she doesnt want to go walking in the rain and my friend C said she has to study. No big deal, and then at some point my friend private messaged me and asked what time i was going on the walk with my dog and she could go out whenever if i maybe wanted to come after all. I didnt see it until a bit later a bit before 3pm when i left with my dog and i texted her like hey what time are you going now i could maybe come after all (one thing is i am quite an indecisive person) also tried calling her but she didnt answer then, she called back around 3.30pm and was like well i already left and i was like okay yeah sorry i was so indecisive and answered late. Then my friend C put a message that “i was now a good friend and sacrificed going there, even tho i have three tests to study for, an essay due tomorrow and came straight after a test even tho its raining” and me and my friend put messages like hey sorry i feel kinda bad for not coming and like that just simple. And they both got mad? A said “well you should feel bad cause i wouldve come if i were you but i guess not everyone thinks the same way, and C came even tho she had school work and i now caught a fever”, “so just be quiet im tired of those “im sorry❤️’ messages” and C said “and dont use not wanting to walk in the rain as an excuse just say you cant, no need tk be so formal about it” C also quoted B when she said she doesnt want to walk in the rain and said “like omg just stfu that just pisses everyone more off, sounding so sarcastic” like im just confused on where this came from? And B then sent another message being like sorry basically, and A answered that shes not mad we didnt come cause its her job after all, but shes dissapointed cause her company wasnt good enough apparently. Im just confused like is it that serious we didnt go on the walk this one time like we do a bunch of other stuff together maybe not as often nowadays but thats cause of work for me and then school for them mostly and then a combination of other personal stuff in life for all.

Last night, we had a family reunion and I was already kind of in a bad mood since my had taken a nap bc of a hang over she still have from last night (she's a bit of an alchoholic) and overslept which caused us to be late to the dinner. once we reached the place we sat down and she started getting a little drunk agaiin thanks to the alchohol served, she started saying things (as she does when she's drunk) about me; like this waiter who looked a little older than me an make a living while i'm over here always cooped up in my room all the time(huh i wonder why); she also made some unnecessary comments about my dress (i asked her for help prior to the diner but she told me she didn't know and waved me off), i get that this was drunk talk and i shouldn't take it seriously but when it comes from someone who conributed in creating you it kinda hurts a little y'know? and then she started comparing to my cousins(average parent protocol atp)

and then it was time for a family group photo. I don't like to take photos that often so i tend to just scoot to the very edge of the group, and unfortunatley i was next ot her. She grabbed my waist which kinda scared me and i shved her away and then she started pulling me harder andlike digging her nails and screaming at me and i just got really stressed out. she would usually like swing an arm around me and all duirng group ohotos but never grab me which was whwy i kinda reacted that way. I know that i should'nt have acted out (especially in public like that) but i ws just really stressed at the time.

and after that she wasn't done with me yet and continuedscreaming at me saying that "i'm you're mother i should be allowed to touch you" and i told her that she grabbed me and it hurt a lot and she kept on denying that (keep in mind she's still drunk) and then this continues (by then i havd already put my earphones in so i could't here much of her slander) and even after the reunion she's still fighting with me. she gets up all ino my face which pissed me off (by thenim tired and just want he to shut up becasue she's etremely drunk by now).

and she's still fighting with me untilwe get into the car, my dad leaves us for us to settle down while he go finds the other family members to help them find their car and she starts hitting me, and my little brother is caught in between and i just wanted to pull him outta there because he was clearly stressed from the noise and trying to settle it down and my mom was grabbing him and isolating him from me it really hurt. she slapped me and made me hit my head a lot but at that point i was kinda numb for physical pain. i gave my little brother my earphones so he would have something to at least dronw out the noise.

and the things that when we were fighting i would say smt like "why do you hit me so much?" and she would say "you hate me! you don't love me!", and when i was rrying to explain she was making me uncomfortable whenn she grabbed me and i dont know what kinda mental gymnastics did she have to do to get from that to "i'm a danger to you!" "cal the police and arrest me!" "I'm a horrible mother!" "you're not a part of this family if i'm dangerous to you!"

i apologised for acting out in public when i probably shoulve' just sucked it up as she said and what not since everytime we take a rgoup photo she slings her arm around me (thats probably th eonly time we touchaso yeah that probably just gave me a headachre worse than when she shoved me into the car window. the way she grabbed my brother probably hurt the most tbh, i vowed to myself that i'd protect him and keep him safe from my parents but i just made things os much worse for him. and even after when my dad came bac did she stop saying anything, but once we got back she only continued. she strated hitting me more and screaming and repeating everything and she tore down the rack filled of things i genuinely care about. by then my dad came up and told her to stop and brought her away. i huddled up in the corner i think and started idk, becoming two people, i needed to clean up the mess she made but i also just wanted to sit there and rest, but i cleaned anyways while my parents fought outside. i heard something along the lines of "just go to sleep" (it was 2am) and that was it for then. after i finished cleaning my mom came back and started to scream at me again and getting me up agaiinst the wall and blocking my way when i was trying to do things, she pulled the "im a terrible mother" card and shoved her phone in my face trying ot get me to cal the police, it made me sick tbh, i apolohised again for the same thing just in case she forgot but also asked for my own since she kinda did hit me and onvade my personal space but she just huffed and she went back to her room (this actually made her look kinda like a kid which was a little unsettling per say)

and in the next 15 minutes she came back again to contonue screaming. she kept on grabbing and clawwing at my shoulder and wasit and generally just taunting me to "call the police" as she kept on saying. it honesty just gavenme the headache.

i know that during all that i was being as calm as i could possibly, letting her scream at me and what not. i was prettys sure she was drunk so i started making light of the sitautions like singing random meme audious or just making my own jokes to myself like if she was sticking her finger into my face i would go "wait, they dont loveme like i love you" (keep in mind it was 3am at that point and i cant say i was thinking straight either)

and eventually it got so bad because she wouldn't let me walk or have my own personal spcae (that i really like) that i went down, with my laptop to study for a test i have where my dad was watching tv thinking my mom wqas asleep. he asked me why i was still awake and coming down and at that point i just kinda broke down, and he went up and told her to stop repeated and harrasing me and all that. i couldn't sleep but i didn't feel like thinking at all, i just wanted to lay on the floor and breathe. my parents were fighting till maybe 4? im not toos ure sincei put on my headphones so silence it out. so yeah thats pretty much it but theres a few things that i wanna say about this:

- wheneve i tried to say something she would interrupt or she wouldn't take a single thing i said to consideration and pull out her own version of what i said and reply to that instead (probably bc of the alchohol)

- she would follow me around and grab me and taunt me and putting her face/finger/phone in my face which i think has just given me major claustrophobia

- she pulled the "i fought with your dad for you to go to a good school" card a lot but whenever it was just me or my dad, he woul always make sure i had the things i needed for school and always wanted to know i was happy or not, she's been pulling this card since i was idk, 5? and now that i think about it, someone who was againts giivng me a good education wouldn't want to further contribute to that no? she also said that she had to fight for me to have my own room which was also weird, idk who to trust anymore because it's not llike i can jyst ask my dad. but if she's lying then i think that she probabl had some delirious dream that was so vivid she belived it was true or maybe my dad actually didn't want me to have a good education but that would be really weird, but then again maybe he still doesn't believe in it but has no choice since he's already given in.

someone please tell me if this is normal and that i'm just being dramatic and that my teenager hormones are acting up

I am sick, and it's so annoying. It's "just" the flu, so of course it's not so bad when you think about others that have it way worse, but I just don't have time to be sick. I can't miss school (like I'm genuinely not allowed to miss more school, I've been sick so much this year), I can't miss practice because we have some tests coming up that will partially determine if I make the big teams this season (very vague, point is that these tests are important) and it's also just really fucking annoying to be sick.

Also, since it's not like a headache-type situation that goes away in a day, it's the flu or something like it. My head, body and joints ache, my nose is running, I'm feverish on/off and I'm coughing and sneezing all the time. And I know I'm gonna feel like this for at least a week because I always do when I get sick like this. But it's not just now I'm getting sick - I got a cold a week or so before Christmas and I swear I haven't been completely fresh since. And yes, I took time off from everything back then, but I just never freaking get over it. And it happens every year; I get sick in November/December and don't completely recover until like March, and in that whole time period it comes back periodically almost like once a month.

Anyways, I'm pretty fkn annoyed by it because now I can't get anything done for the next week because my body aches even just lying still, and once again I don't improve at all in the winter season. And yes, I've called my doctor but they said something along the likes of "oh you have the flu? Like you do every year where you can't get over it? Sounds tough, deal with it"

It's so strange that in my 19 years of life I have never seen able to make any friends. I do have one friend whom I went to school with and whom I have known for 15 years but now that she has a Bf we don't get to talk as much. Even in Uni I still haven't been able to make any friends. I'm an introvert so it's already kinda hard for me to talk to people and to be honest it drains me out.

I don't really care about socialising or making friends that much as I'm more focused on my studies and getting successful but sometimes it hurts to have no one to talk to. I don't know what is the reason honestly if there's something wrong with me or what idk.

Sometimes I wonder if I died would anyone even care?

Maybe I'm too boring to talk or maybe my Vibes don't match here. It's so depressing sometimes to just be alone in class, at home, everywhere it sucks. Sometimes I just want to cry because there's literally nobody I can talk to.

I just wanted to vent here because like I said I don't have anyone to talk to.

Hi, I'm not sure if this is really family drama but I feel it's similar. I'm a 34 year old female. I'm currently in a deep depression that I am having difficulty getting out of. This all started about maybe 4 years ago. I got the news that my oldest brother who is 11 years older than me had stage 4 terminal cancer. I was in complete shock, my brother is more like my mother and father in one. We lost my mother a year before his diagnosis and we have another brother who is 2 years older than me. My oldest brother, Chris, has always been there for me(financially, emotionally and all around). He became my person well before my mom passed but was the person I talked to every day a little before she passed. Chris has been there for me through thick and thin and has even helped me take care of my daughter more than anyone else in my life. I trust that man with my life and my daughters life. I knew he was told he wouldn't make it but I prayed so hard that he would. I couldn't imagine life without my brother. About a year ago, a week before my daughters bday the day came where he passed. I never cried harder in my life. The person who was my mom, dad and brother in one was gone. I couldn't even grieve right as I felt I had to be there for everyone else. I have gone on almost a year missing him more than I have even missed my own mother. I honestly just want my brother back, I go to therapy but it really don't help. To make matters worse my dog that I've had for 12 years passed suddenly last month. Apollo was my best friend for 12 years and I lost him not even a year after my brother. All this has got me to the point I don't know what to do. The only thing keeping me going and waking up is my daughter. I'm so upset I can't think straight and I'm doing what I can to keep things together. But I feel I'm breaking apart. I love my daughter more than anything in this world, but I've lost too much too close together. I've tried talking to my dad and other brother but it don't help. My dad has pulled away for the most part in life and my other brother has tried to be there but it's just not the same. I miss Chris more than anything and it hurts so much, and I'm not even sure how to process losing Apollo. I know ppl will say he's just a dog but he's been my best friend for 12 years and been there for me when no one else was. My dog was more than a dog to me. And I feel like most of my heart is gone. My daughter is the only light I have left and I feel I'm loosing my will to live. I can't do that because she needs me more. Any advice on what I can do would be greatly appreciated. And please no find God comments or pray. It doesn't work and I don't think I can deal with that cause I can't think God would take 2 of the most important things from me in my life. I've literally lost hope in praying for now. So please no religious stuff I can't handle it.

I don't have a job

I have a shitty GPA

My friends all have friends that they like more than me

I’ve never held someones hand

I’ve never kissed someone

or had sex

or gone on a date

I’ve never gotten drunk

I've never gone to a real party

I can't drive

I can't make a phone call without feeling nauseous

I can’t go to gym class

I can't watch what I eat no matter how hard I want to diet and how much I hate myself everytime I take a bite

I can't be bothered with school

I don't have the money for college

I’ll never look the way I want to look

I’ll never be famous

I’ll never meet anyone famous

I’ll never have kids

I’ll never be rich

I probably won't even ever be “upper middle class” or “comfortably rich”

I’ll never not have a roomate

Being trans is literally illegal

and its not like I can just not be a guy

I’ll never be able to get on a plane

So I’ll never be able to leave

I can't see a future

I can't see one year from bow

I can't see myself graduating

I won't be able to pay for college

Once FAFSA and the DoE are disbanded

I can't even be bothered to sit up

And grab the blanket

At the end of my bed

Because my hair is wet

And I’m cold

How am I supposed to do anything when everyone I know is everything I wish I was and there's no way to go back in time and do everything

To make the backstory as short as possible I’ll simplify. At 11 my dad died. At 13 I entered foster care. All was drug related. After being in care for a few months no one wanted me and they put me in a mental hospital which is normal for teens. They drugged us there to keep us high and quiet. I lived there for two years to get ripped from that life to a farm life of no pills, religion, and no time out of the house. I went to school, church, and back at home to clean, so once I left that one I was 17 and free to the world ( I graduated at 17) I immediately jumped relationship to relationship, introduced to drugs, and after having two miscarriages I started drinking my sorrows. After a year after this started I was pregnant with my first. Things didn’t go well with the father and I, he was abusive and a m37h addict. I had no clue until we were in a shitty trailer and all my money was gonna and I was stuck. I have no family, nothing. I ended up smoking weed my entire pregnancy and allowed my half brother to adopt him (I only contacted out of desperation he’s the only bit of my dad left) he and I don’t speak other than about the baby but that’s about it. Its always been tense. After this I fell pregnant again after three months postpartum with a guy that I really felt was different. I truly still love him and that’s what makes this so hard. He smoked weed and so did I. He couldn’t quit and I wanted to but there was so much that made me feel hated and unloved. Things started getting physical and we were in that same trailer which was all but a shack. After the birth of my daughter at six weeks early the relationship between me and everyone became tense. Since she was in the nicu only certain visitors could come in alone otherwise I’d have to be in there. During a visit with my bfs mom she kissed my daughter on the forehead who might I add was at the time having breathing issues and was not breathing on her own. She was just born too early and it would take some time. But unfortunately I would have to fight to get a chance to keep her since I smoked weed. I got clean for a few months but my drug tests said I was still smoking. Once they signed off my rights, I started smoking again because I felt there was no reason to try. I drank again. I gave up. Then something snapped in me. I got back to just weed and way less than normal. I’m getting close to quitting. Today however, almost a year since my daughters birth, my bfs mawmaw decided to throw new info my way and it felt very malice and no one seems to care that she said it at all. Including my boyfriend who still can’t get clean either. She said that my daughter might have cerebral palsy and it’s because I did drugs while pregnant. I’ve already blamed myself for the entire year about any issue she has as is. I’ve wanted to do better but that’s where I’m stuck too. I have no car, no license, barely a job, and my relationship feels very… one sided. Controlled. When I get close to feeling like I can just do it homeless, he loves me more. When I fully trust and love him and everything feels at its best, he gets abusive. I know the obvious answers but at this point how things are, his family has money and if I leave I’ll never know another thing about my daughter. Ever. If I stay, I hurt myself to be there for her in any way I can. Even to get just a picture every other month, it’s worth the hell I go through. Being a mother biologically is still an awful and wonderful feeling. I want to be better, but everyone around me tell me how much I do wrong and any time I open my mouth they say I’m making excuses, they yell at me. I feel like a little kid but in the hospitals again. Just like an orphan they can’t quite just not help but what they do is worse than not helping. I want to break free and change but the only way at this point is fully being homeless and losing all my belongings. I don’t know what I could ask for on advice or anything. I just need some reassurance that I’m some way it’ll all work out for the best.

It’s been years since I’ve realized I was trans(FTM). Recently I decided to actually express my identity by cutting my hair and not wearing anything too feminine to help with dysphoria. Unfortunately she noticed.

Two days ago my mom came to my room and she asked me who I am, she said I could trust her and that she wants to know the truth. She said that if I was honest with her she would be happy and accept me completely. My mom has always been supportive of the LGBTQ community so I thought i could trust her. I spilled my heart out to her and explained everything. How I felt like a boy and how I always felt like a boy.

I didn’t realize she didn’t understand the difference between a trans person and a lesbian for some reason??? She asked me if I like girls and I said no because I honestly am not attracted to girls. She was very confused and I tried to explain it to her and she eventually said she understood and I started crying and she said she’ll love me no matter what and she does see me as a person.

The next day she was VERY depressed looking(very unusual, not saying she should never be depressed or feel down, but usually she’s very happy). I forgot to mention that during this month things haven’t been too good for our family. I won’t go into detail but there’s been a bunch of downfalls and I also told her about evolution a month ago? I think? But she was open to the idea of it and she also started questioning things from the bible. (My whole family is christian, but I honestly have never felt the connection).

Anyways back to the present, she’s still acting different to her usual self and after a few hours she came to my room and started crying. She showed me old pictures of me in skirts and dresses and said she never noticed any signs. She told me I am a girl and it’s a demon whispering things into my ear. She said that she has had things like this happen to her before with bad thoughts. Before the day I came out I was the happiest I could have ever been, I truly felt like me. She started saying that the devil is trying to bring me down and that i need to dig deeper to find the true me. But i know who i am, I always did. Being feminine ≠ Not being trans. I started questioning myself a lot. I feel extremely depressed. My mom since that day has still been the same. She made me pray and ask for forgiveness as well and she said that I need to keep praying and in a few months she’ll ask me who I am again. She said she accepts me but then right after she said It’s the devil talking to me. Straight after that she said I’m going to have a bedtime now?? HELLO? For my whole life I’ve slept past 12am. You could argue it’s not good for me but it’s the only time I’m productive. She said If i dont go to bed she’s going to switch off everything and force me to sleep.

I cant take it anymore. My dad has already always been a bad person to me and we never really spoke to eachother. He always argues with me. My mom was the only person I could talk to and rely on and now she’s gone. She’s been acting weird around me and she said she’s just been sick. I cant take it, it’s only been 2 days but it’s already too much for me. I feel so depressed. I’ve never felt this guilty and horrible. I should’ve jusf kept quiet and said nothing. This wouldn’t have happened if I just kept it away. This isn’t gonna get better and I can feel it. I don’t know what to do. I wish I could just start my life over. She’s making me feel miserable.

On January 21, 2025, I came home from school overcome with anxiety. I only slept two hours the previous night to make time to finish schoolwork, and my inability to think coherently caused a flurry of irrational thoughts I couldn't understand. All I knew was that they surrounded the unusual behavior my close friend Kennedy displayed at school that day: she was avoiding eye contact with me, her reactions were slower, and she seemed so out of it.

I am 16f, and I have this close friend who I've only known for three months but connected deeply with because of the past painful experiences we shared and our identical issues. We both secretly admired each other for the past five years or so, hanging out with different people in the same classroom and a few years in the same friend group, but we never dared to approach the other because we simultaneously thought the other person didn't hold interest.

She was the one to initiate things in the October of last year, in a time when I wasn't stable mentally and had pretty much given up all notion of social interaction and friendships because of my apathy. I saw her "HMM WYD" text and felt so bewildered in the midst of my inner struggles that I might've feel into an extreme denial of her intentions. I acted like a bully to her for a while because of that. Or to be more precise, like a tsundere LOL

But she was so persistent and vocal about her fondness for me that I found myself acting in a way different from my usual emotionless and inexpressive self. To say the least, she saved me.

But then last week, she opened up about the dark thoughts she has and how her family sees her as someone with a "mental problem." Since then she admitted to me yesterday that she has been experiencing a strange uncomfortable feeling, that she "used to like me to such an extent" but that something changed inside of her regarding her feelings towards me. She said she didn't know why. She said it wasn't my fault she was feeling that way.

I miss her so much.

Quick backstory, I'm between 13-16 atm, just to give a rough age range so you get an idea. I am a minor and this is how my home is.

I'll first introduce you to my family! Mother: in 50's Father:in 50's Older Brother: 20+ I also have other siblings but that doesn't matter too much.

My mother has stage 4 cancer and is extremely childish and easily irratated. She lacks empathy and often talks about her self and how much worse she has it when I talk to her about anything.

My father is an alcoholic, who works most hours of the week and spends his one day off, (monday) golfing with friends. He is often not home and extremely close minded and absent in my life. Refuses to go to the hospital or believe in medicine since "men are strong enough, and if I die, I die." Therefore I don't know if he'll die tomorow. :) (He makes up most the income we make and so if he dies soon, I am kinda screwed.)

My brother is on the spectrum, has ADHD and works a job atm. Extremely mentally unstable and has had therapy.

I'll just talk about yesterday as an example. My brother had another mental breakdown where he went on a rampage, screaming and breaking things. Heres a small list of what he broke yesterday, a set of joycons, a metal soldering kit and a ceramic bowl (With a hammer). This was all done when he panics, he also threw out a laptop he broke the day before that still partially works that he can easily use as he said him self. But he threw it out since he finds it hard to look at since its something he broke when he had a mental breakdown. He has been screaming at the top of his lungs and since he is taller and stronger than my parents, I am terrified that he would cause harm to members of my family. Not to mention I get terrible anxiety when he screams since I have trauma of him screaming in the middle of the night that he was going to off him self two years ago. In the same year, he has also stabbed scissors into his hand right infront of me and he passed out multiple times.

If I bring up any issues, my parents tell me that they have it much worse. Which is true, I run and hide when my brother has a mental breakdown but my parents need to deal with them, but I don't feel like they care about me at all. My sister is also mental and silently struggles and the other one also is mental. Life is great :,)

(Sorry if some of it doesn't make sense. I'm horrible with grammer and I wrote this quickly :,))

Thanks for caring enough to read this, this alone is more than my parents do for me now days.

My best friend and I have known each other for a long time. Our views used to align, or at least be similar enough. But over the past few years, she has been changing her mind about a lot of things, and now we have very few topics that we agree on. These aren't trivial things either, like the best snacks or most interesting movies. I'm talking about things like politics and core beliefs. I have no problem with her changing her mind on these things. I have another friend that has always had completely different values than me, and we're fine because we understand who the other person is and what they believe in, and we move on. That's why I have an issue with my best friend right now. It always seems like she's expecting me to be on her side, even though I've expressed my opinions on these issues many times over the years and she knows where I stand. Every time I disagree with her, which is becoming more and more frequent, she acts shocked, like she didn't expect it. Granted, I can be a pushover a lot of the time for smaller things, and she knows that, but I have always stood firm in my beliefs, and I thought she knew that as well. The conversation will go like this: she brings up a topic randomly and says "that's weird, right?" already leaving little room for me to disagree. I reply with something along the lines of "no, I don't think it's weird" and I leave it at that because I hate debating and just want to avoid this (which she is fully aware of). She then gets confused and asks me why it's not weird to me, and then I have to explain my perspective, which has been the same for years and shouldn't be new information to her. It's almost as if, in her mind, I'm more of an extension of her than my own person. At least that's how I feel.

i am soo tired. i just want to sleep and never wake up. i dont want to live but whenever i think to end myself i remember how i promised my siblings we would try new food together or watch a series/movies together or what if i just tell my parents how i feel , will they react good or bad maybe if its good i can or will be able to leave these thoughts behind but if not then i am afraid i might just do it . i dont want my parents to spend anymore more of there hard earned money on me , they already wasted so much money on me and its useless if its on me i am not even talented , smart , pretty or anything my siblings have sooo much more potential maybe i should have never been born so that i would not have troubled my parents my family so much , thanks for listening/reading , hope you have a great life.

so we’ve recently started dating, after being friends for like a year.

I know he didn’t mean to make me uncomfortable, he’s just a very blunt and straightforward person.

I unfortunately have really bad anxiety and a habit of anxious attachment style (which I’m currently working on).

basically, we were with his friends, and while they were discussing personal issues they all had, he just mentioned to his friends that he was an ex p0rn addict. good for him of course because I’m also an ex addict of that.

however it just made me uncomfortable. he only mentioned it once and never brought it up again, so whatever. idk things that unsettle me usually just end up sticking in my head for a while because I get really bad mental images and intrusive thoughts.

I don’t think I’m gonna discuss this with him, just because it was a one time thing and isn’t really an issue between us—it’s solely a me problem.

just like how can I work on my intrusive thoughts? I can’t get shit out of my head for like weeks and it’s just really miserable and infuriating, it’s like making me feel sick to my stomach because I feel so bad for him and I’m so disgusted just by it (not by him but by the addiction itself as, again, I used to have that addiction, so I know how much it sucks)