Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 64

Happy birthday to me I guess🎊🥳🎉!! April 9th😃🙏🏻✨!! Spending my birthday with family in Vegas. Then headed back to California to celebrate with my bestie in May🤩!! Super excited!!! I look forward to seeing my bestie😄!! I haven't seen her in months since I moved🫠. The Cali beach is calling me🏖️!! Many people I've heard don't think California is fun... I don't understand that, but maybe I'm just easy to please... To a certain extent😅. I'm easy to please when it comes to activities... But I'm a picky humor person or a picky eater, etc... so, again, certain things are easy for me to enjoy.

Anyways, I wish my mom was with me, but she passed away in October of 2024, so this is the 1st birthday I'm having without my mom😭. Definitely trying to have a positive day though😋👍🏻! Eating good food, drinking lots of water and Propel, and it's good to get money usually💸💰🤑!! But either way, I know I'm one of the lucky ones and I'm not denying that🙂. I hope everyone else has a wonderful day, and I'll try to do the same🙃.

idk why but my friend is being rlly distant fsr

I only started noticing when my other friend brought it up

me and him used to be best friends but now its like we dont know eachother anymore

all of this has honestly given new meaning to "Somebody That I Used To Know"

Just close your eyes, the sun is going down. You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now. Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound.

(song: Safe & Sound by Taylore Swift, it's the only song i like by her, go listen to it if you need comfort :3)

ever since 2025 school year started ive just been at the lowest point of my entire life, with the accumulations of series of events. i dont have anywhere that i belong unlike my peer with different commitments, positions and etc. it doesnt help that i have no talent whatsoever, i dont excel in any aspect of life as well. i just feel like a good for nothing person thats just simply alive, i do have the best and most amazing people around me but I just can't help but feel extremely lonely at times. i used to have a commited club but after a series of betrayal and backstabbing ive basically just got ridiculed out of the club for just trying to do my best to work with the others. Just the past week I got accused of being a bully whilst ive always just minded my own business and never cared about the way others are because i know im not one to even comment on them. I've always tried to avoid trouble, tried to avoid conflict, tried to just be the nicest version of myself to others but why does this stuff keep happening to me? why do i constantly get painted as a villain when I really just want to find my own peace? I really just want to find myself again and feel happy without any lingering concerns or conflicts for once, at this point i really just want to get out of highschool and start over with my life again, even better without being in the same school as the people that hated me for idk what reason. i hope i can hang on as its just 6 months away? from grad i really cannot wait but ill miss my friends fr :(

Y’all I know this is a common problem, and maybe I’m just another sufferer

My wife has been cheating on me— that’s what my child says. She’s just 7 years old— an age where she shall burst with creativity, she could possibly be lying— right? That’s what I thought last week, but was proven to be true today. Indeed that intelligent 7 year old’s words were right

I feel bad for her, how come she knows what cheating is at that young age?

My wife cheated, I don’t really care

My daughter has been going through more than I expected her to ever come across, and I never realised. How do I cheer her up now?

I hate my friendgroup. I'm talking to one friend, ok, and we're just chilling. Then one of my other friends come over and it's like I don't even exist anymore. Some are worse than others (Friend list follows: A, B, M, T, H, J, A2), like B will comepletely ignore me and then start yapping with H and T like nothing happened, and J and A are better, although once they start talking about Genshin Impact I'm gone in the background again. A2 is the only friend I have that doesn't make me feel invisible, and I cherish her for that. Right now I'm sitting in Band Class and T and B (the only friends I have in band) are sitting halfway across the room, talking to each other. They haven't glanced my way once, and only T has spoken to me and it was only briefly until she saw B sitting over there and moved to talk to him. I just hate being invisible. Why is it ME who has to be invisible? like, me and B used to be best friends. What in the world happened? Was it The Great Split, as I've taken to calling it? (that was when our friendgroup split into two parts, I've talked about the split on here before, it's not exactly a new thing.) B, T, and H are all on the same half... is that why they won't talk to me? But they still talk to the rest of our half, I see them talking with A, J, and M all the time. So what is it with me that I'm just invisible to them? and it's not just them, I'm invisible to my own half as well. I talk with A and J and M a lot more than I talk with the other three, but I'm kind of invisible to M a lot, and as I said before, once A and J bring up Genshin Impact there's no point in trying to be visible anymore. And not to mention the fact that I sometimes third wheel A and M. (they're dating.) I cherish all my friendships, but it seems like a lot of them are ending and there's nothing I can do about it except just watch as everything crumbles and dies. I'm forever alone, except when A2 is there. She's awesome. But I swear I can't anymore with this friendgroup. My legs are covered in fresh scars, because at night I can't see the light at the end of this ridiculously long tunnel. My story may come to an end sooner than I'd like to admit. All I want right now is someone's loving arms around me, telling me that things will be ok, that things will go back to the way they used to be, that I'll never be invisible again, that time is going to rewind to the good old days when nobody was invisible and nobody was depressed and everybody was heard and loved and supported but I don't have that person telling me all those things so nothing will be ok nothing at all and I just can't take anymore my story needs to end and when it does everyone will go back and read it and say "good riddance, that story was horrible" and they won't miss me and I can tell they're all waiting to see the end and I just can't do this anymore and if I can't end my story I'll continue it somewhere that isn't SC.

So I've had problems with SH in the past. It's gotten really bad now, and it's all on my legs so it's easier to hide from my parents. My mom thought she took all the sharp objects out of my room, but, well... my pencil sharpener. I took the blade out. I started feeling ashamed of who I am, so I might've written a couple things with the blade (I wrote "Kpop," "LGBTQ," and a therian symbol) then put an X through them. And on the other leg... I wrote smt I don't want to share. One of the things is still bleeding and I couldn't find a bandaid big enough to cover it so I used toilet paper and fucking packing tape to cover it and make a makeshift bandage.

I’ve always been the type to keep my head down and focus on my goals. I’m 21, in my third year of engineering school, and everything I do, every choice I make, is with my future in mind. I’ve sacrificed a lot to get here—late nights, weekends, even my social life. So when I met her, I thought maybe I finally found someone who could make all this stress a little easier to carry. She was fun, spontaneous, full of energy. The opposite of me in a lot of ways, but I liked that. She made me laugh, pulled me out of my shell, reminded me what it felt like to live a little. At first, it was amazing. I felt like we balanced each other out. I’d be buried in assignments, and she’d bring over takeout and just chill with me, no pressure. But things started shifting. The parties became constant. The calls stopped. The texts were shorter. And eventually, the rumors started.

At first I didn’t believe them. I didn’t want to. People talk, right? Especially in college. I told myself they were just jealous, or didn’t know what they were talking about. But then I started noticing things—Snapchats from clubs she said she wasn’t going to, random guys commenting stuff that didn’t sit right, her suddenly not answering for hours when she used to be glued to her phone. And yeah, I finally asked. She denied it, of course. Said I was being paranoid, that I didn’t trust her. And I felt guilty for even bringing it up. But then I saw it with my own eyes. Twice. Two different guys. And still she acted like I was overreacting. "It didn’t mean anything," she said. "I was drunk, it was a mistake." But it wasn’t a mistake if it happened more than once. It wasn’t an accident. It was a choice. And I can’t lie—it broke something in me.

The thing is, I know I should leave. Everyone tells me to. My friends are fed up with watching me go through this cycle of betrayal and fake apologies. But I haven’t. Not yet. I wish I could explain why. Maybe it's because I'm scared to be alone. I spent so much time focused on school that she became my only real escape. My only comfort. And now, even with all the lies, part of me still wants her to care. Still wants her to be who she was at the beginning. I keep holding on to the memory of that girl, even though I know she’s not coming back. And it makes me feel weak, honestly. Like I’m not the guy I thought I was. I always prided myself on being strong, being focused, having self-respect. But here I am, stuck in this mess, not knowing how to let go of someone who clearly doesn't value me. I'm torn between not wanting to be alone and not being able to accept the idea of staying with someone who could hurt me like that. I don’t know how to fix it, or if I even should. All I know is I’m tired. Tired of pretending I’m fine. Tired of the lies. Tired of loving someone who doesn’t love me back the right way.

My sister has been dating this guy named Bryan for pretty much 3 months now, and like— her life is already so tragic in some ways I can’t explain due to being too personal;; Jane was third wheeling for an amount of time and today I saw them on the basketball court— and you know the stuff they did

I’m afraid that if I tell my sister then she might lock herself up in her room for another week… shall I tell her tho? Bryan has been toxic to her the past few days and I think she knows— does she?

i don’t even kno how i got like this, but every day i wake up and the first thing i feel is just… hate. like, for myself. i look in the mirror and i can’t stand what i see. i’m not pretty, i’m not smart, i’m not anything. i try so hard at school and still i keep failing or messin up the easiest stuff. it’s embarrasin. teachers look at me like i’m stupid or lazy but i swear i try, like i really do. i study, i stay up late, i skip things i like just to focus but none of it works. and then i come home and it’s not better. my mom’s always mad at me, always yelling, sayin i don’t do enough, that i should be more like my cousin or my sister or whoever. like sorry i’m not good at anything okay?? my dad doesn’t say much but i can tell he’s disappointed too. he used to try to help with homework but now he just shakes his head and leaves the room. sometimes i wish i could just disappear for a while, like vanish and see if anyone even notices. i feel like a ghost in my own house. nobody listens to me. when i try to talk about how i feel it’s always “you’re being dramatic” or “you just want attention”. but i don’t. i just want someone to see me and say “you’re okay” and actually mean it.

i’ve lost friends too. like, i still talk to some ppl at school but i can tell they don’t really care. i get left out of stuff and when i ask to hang they got excuses. nd maybe it’s cuz i’m so negative or boring or whatever. maybe i talk too much about sad things. i try not to, but it leaks out, like i can’t help it. i laugh less than i used to. i cry more, mostly in my room, sometimes at night under the covers so no one hears. i write in my notes app stuff i could never say out loud. and yeah sometimes i think stuff i shouldn’t. like what if i just wasn’t here? would it be easier for everyone? i kno that’s a scary thought but it’s real. i don’t want to die, i just don’t wanna feel like this anymore. like i’m broken or wrong all the time. i see girls my age who are confident and smiley and got everything going and i feel like i’m just stuck. like i missed some class where everyone learned how to be normal and i wasn’t invited. nd yeah, ppl say “love urself” but how do you love someone who keeps messing up everything? who makes ppl angry just by being there? i hate myself so much and the worst part is i don’t even kno how to stop. i don’t kno how to be okay again, or if i ever was.

I never wanted to go to the class trip, and frankly no one ever forced me, but my mom just signed me up and said she will NOT find out about how she can cancel it. My mom has a tendency of being very emotional and hysterical at times, and she really made a mess about that whole thing. And if you know the stress of contacting a teacher, let alone one that is anxious about not having enough people on the trip... Yeah, I folded.

I didn't expect such betrayal from mom, but I went on the trip nonetheless, I had no choice. And, it was pretty much what I expected.

I can't say I'm actively bullied in this school in particular, but the way I've been acting throughout middle school has sealed my reputation as a really easy-to-hurt clumsy softie that constantly needs to be taken care of. Though that narrative really died down recently, and it would've stayed decaying had it not been for this trip and a reunion with an ex-classmate that left a year ago and therefore still had that perception of me. My one friend and the one I'm just okay with constantly hang with that one guy and I really feel left out.

This niche little thing matters to me so much I can't not cry. Every day also feels excruciatingly long, the trip lasts a week, and it's only my second day! I can't leave early, cause I'm in a different fucking city, so I'm just kinda trapped bubbling up my emotions here texting it all away in this one forum!

I also have to mention this is all during a WEEK-LONG SCHOOL BREAK. Like, I'm not even skipping school by attending this, just ruining a bunch of free time I've REALLY been needing! I have a song to write, videos to make, and a lot more I've felt like doing for a LONG while without having the opportunity to do so. This could've been my chance, but alas, I suppose my life's been a bit too great, and it had to have been ruined somehow.

Thanks for reading, it matters a lot, truly

Ok so the signs started the day we went on spring break (I'm in sixth grade btw ) and he (JB) didn't hug me like usual, like the whole day not at all. I wasn't too concerned but when I got home did my chores like usual bcuz my parents r so fcking strict and I have 5 out of 8 siblings living in our house w/ two parents fighting and yelling at each other and the kids including me. ages: J-4yo, C-8yo, Me/L-11yo, E-13yo, B-13yo, R-18yo. C is soo spoiled she is tearing our family apart shes literally hits my mom like shes 8 wtf she is super picky and barely eats she doesn't get hit like us and she does wtv she want my parents don't even care what she does she gets the best bday parties and the most love. So yea its very chaotic. I js hate my family they don't love me and I wanna run away but I cant there is no time to do it and there r so many locks on the door including an alarm. I finished my chores and texted him on my tablet bcuz I cant have a phone until 8th grade I hate that rule soo much. my parents keep my tablet in their room I can only have it once I finish my chores. So I get my tablet and text him but he don't text back AT ALL so I'm like so scared he's going to break up w/ me so I txt my bestie she says its ok and he wont break up w/ me she js wont belive me. anyway I'm like having a panic attack the whole spring break and when we go back to school he breaks up w/ me before 2nd period well his friend told me from across the fcking room bcuz JB was too much of a fcking pssy to do it himself and he was the best bf we had been dating for 4 month but it felt like forever and he gave me the best gifts butmy dumbvss friends didn't even here him? like wtf. anyway I started crying rlly hard but silently and my friend asked what was wrong but they alr knew before I answered bcuz I told them I KNEW I JS KNEW HE WOULD BREAK UP W/ ME all the girls in the class crowded around me and one girl(A) said "I'm better than JB I will be ur new bf" she is so funny after 2nd period I walked out and told my other friend abt that fiasco, in 3rd period the guy who told me we broke up asked me if I was ok and I wasn't but I nodded, I have 4 ppl who like me but idk who should be next. also srry abt all the grammar errors. lolll bye oh also this is all what caused me to cvt my self 3 times in a week.

I was in 8th grade and in Confirmation class when I met Mike. Ridiculously handsome and quiet like me. We would smile and that was probably it. We met again in college, he actually asked me out but I was true to my high school boyfriend and said no, although I cried later when I got home. I followed his police career, thought of him as the one that got away. When I got Facebook years later, he was the first person I looked for. He was exactly the same. We chatted and caught up. We met for an innocent lunch months later. Eventually we would meet up and had an affair which never amounted to anything. It wasn’t smooth sailing. We fought, mostly me, wishing things had been different. We always came back as friends online and through text. This went on maybe 15 years. We had a decent mutual respect and friendship although not close. He had been married divorced 3 times and multiple women- hisb2nd and 3rd wife broke up his first marriage and was half his age. He was a police officer and a lot of women chased him and he enjoyed that. It was not something I liked about him. Anyway, one time my teen daughter got a weird message trying to get her phone number from a stranger who said she was a teen. My daughter told me it didn’t sound like a teen. I had a weird suspicion it was him trying to spy on her phone. He had used his law enforcement Connections to know things about me and my online habits. I just had a weird feeling. I ended up sending him a message telling him how weird this was. He said, “That’s not good”. I found that odd. Like he was actually saying that wasn’t good I found him out. Well, we ended up talking after and I felt maybe I’d been ridiculous and maybe he was actually okay. Afterwards, I started thinking about things and it really did seem kind of creepy to me. One time years ago an anonymous person was stating things online about my 16 year old daughter. I feared it was him. So when I felt this about my youngest daughter who looked like me, I also remember him telling me in a call that he wished he could have “been with teenaged me just one time”. This was around the time my daughter got that weird message trying to give out her number. I feared the worst, decided it wasn’t worth having a friendship that was possibly creepy and sent messages to him saying “leave me and my daughters alone!” I felt if he was innocent he’d say something. He said nothing. I was so creeped out. 9 months later - which is currently, I wondered about him for some weird reason. I look him up to see what he’s up to. He DIED 9 months ago unexpectedly. I had talked to him right before. He had gained alot of weight. I only read it was sudden and unexpected the weekend he intended to see his son to basic training. I didn’t know how to feel. Sad, mostly, even though our relationship wasn’t to be and should not have been. He was a big part of my growing up and just general friendship even though it wasn’t always good. I always hoped I had been wrong and he didn’t actually saying anything about my daughters or text one. Anyway, he’s gone. I feel this unexpected grief and loss. It’s been very painful and can’t tell anyone. If he was guilty of anything I shouldn’t feel anything, but I never knew. There’s no burial plot that I see, so no place to visit and say goodbye. I’m venting here. Yes, I know my affair was wrong. My husband and I worked through that. He doesn’t know if his death or that it upset me. That is why I’m venting here. I still hope he wasn’t responsible for the weird messages to my daughter. I don’t know how to feel. Thank you for reading if you got this far.

I am here yet again, if it's possible to click my username and see what all I've said, I still have no idea if that is something that can be done or not- my previous posts go over my situation in more depth. The short of it is: I am intersex, trans, mixed race, chronically ill and disabled and a trauma survivor. America is a hellscape, I need to get out of it, have for years and now here we are. I was attacked twice since Trump's election just trying to buy groceries, my doctor tried to take away medication I need to survive, as my intersex condition has severe health consequences that I NEED HRT for. It's not just about presentation for me (though it also helps dysphoria), it's that if I do not have it I will bleed out and my testosterone levels will go up so high it could cause heart damage or worse... I just say these things to be understood. My situation.

My mother and grandparents raised me with strict religious rules and the like, to the point where an exorcism was allowed to be attempted on me when I was thirteen or so because my obvious symptoms of a trauma disorder (among other signs of being a SA survivor) plus being intersex was a no-no. They wanted it corrected. I still deal with severe scrupulosity, guilt and just... Hurt, so much hurt and fear because of it all, it's too much to get into but that I think paints a clear enough picture even without knowing just all it included.

To the point. Current events are pricking at the 'be rapture ready' teachings I got shoved down my throat, I don't even know what I believe anymore, it's hard to feel belief or love for a god that you were abused in the name of. Who, if he's out there, has heard me scream and cry and beg and did nothing. If he's not, well... Is that better or worse? I don't know. I've been saying I'm agnostic but even saying it makes me feel like I need to kneel and beg for forgiveness for denying god so I just try to avoid it as a whole. Even so, though, there are still times where I give in to compulsions and wind up praying for hours for forgiveness and to be saved. Hurting my body in the process, as I have joint issues, that's my primary disability physically at least. The one time I tried to reach out for help for this, to my mother, her only response was. "It's never a bad thing to pray."

Every time I see someone say that it's the end of the world, in a religious sense or not, I just start sobbing and have to fight the urge to just pray and pray and beg until my throat hurts and my joints are on fire. Every time I see people in other countries say we are all responsible and can't be trusted due to Trump and MAGA, which don't get me wrong I understand because look at everything but I wish people would remember that there are people about to be slaughtered that tried to warn everyone about this that they're lumping in with their oppressors, I just want to do the same. Beg and plead with god to make this all stop. I have before, I did the other day, and asked for a sign that he hadn't thrown me away. Guess what happened next?

I found a bag of rotting meat that someone hadn't put in the fridge or freezer after we went to the store. I just broke down sobbing.

There are coincidences, I believe that it was one, the logical part of me. The part of me still grappling with the abuse, grooming and indoctrination I was put though keeps telling me. "He was telling you you're going to rot. You're disgusting, evil, you deserve the painful death awaiting you before you are sent to burn in hell." And, if you are reading this and highly religious, don't even bother commenting. I don't want to hear your proselytizing and hatred. I've heard any and everything you could possibly tell me, I assure you, it will do nothing. You won't get any good points with the man upstairs for converting a "lost soul." I'm not even an atheist, like I said, I just don't know what the hell I am and even if I am a believer the word 'Christian' now burns me given what has been done to me and the current state of the world. The rise of Christo-Fascism.

I have no one to talk to, so, I am going to now write something here I wrote the other day in a debate/conversation in an online circle that I saved to show my therapist so she could see how badly I've been doing. I just need someone to hear me, I guess? That's how and why I'm here. I googled 'anonymous venting sites' and found this here. I am sorry I keep spamming here. Now, the comment (and yes I showed my therapist):

"I hope and pray to whoever is listening that I manage to get someone to help me out of America before we're all caged in, I won't make it, I check damn near every box for people Trump and his not-sees want dead. I would say that I hope countries start allowing refugees from here, especially the most vulnerable like disabled folk and the lgbtqia2p community, but MAGAs fleeing what they voted for (and the ones who tantrumed over Kamala not being perfect enough for him so didn't vote at all which basically voted him in anyhow) are too big a risk to let in on accident. So, I know most likely no one will let us flee to safety, it's terrifying and heartbreaking. I can't say I blame them, though. Look at how everything is going, the things he is saying. Doing. So, as sad and scared and mad as I am, I give all support to them. I just wish that those who have been trying to warn everyone from the start, those on the chopping block first, were not forgotten and punished. I wish we could get thrown a life preserver. Here's to history never repeating again, to other countries standing strong, putting Trump in his place."

I really do feel like I'm just trying to crawl out of a Russian Nesting Doll, or a maze of cages, I was able to escape the first one my so called father trapped me in. Now, I'm in another, my mother may have saved me from him but has still kept me trapped. It's still no way to live, there is still harm, I'm just not in direct danger constantly like with him. I am afraid that the moment I finally get out on my own (I am a disabled adult dependent after being stuck with my father is the short version trying to find my way to being able to function independently safely) I will find that I'm just in yet another prison the size of a country. Or, a state, if it ends up with state to state travel even being banned...

I still keep praying even though it feels like no one is listening, I have to, I have no other choice. My brain won't let me completely give up on the possibility god is up there listening, won't let me deny completely, even if I feel pure terror first and foremost. And, well, I don't have any people in my life to go to do I? So, all I can do is cry and cower, complain in spaces like these or beg a sky that may or may not be empty (or at least hold something that despises me despite creating me) for help.

I can't self diagnose or anything but I'm 98% sure I'm autistic, the stories my family tells me about when I was younger add up to the autism symptoms I feel now. I've taken the Raads-R test or whatever it's called, I've actually take a bunch, all which lead to the general consensus that I do in fact most definitely have autism. I don't know how to tell my parents. they're asian and they told me a couple years ago that autistic people are weird and not normal or whatever and they probably dont believe anything i try to tell them. they dont believe im aromantic and that me being a tomboy is just a phase. life is becominig harder and harder and i dont know. i just cant do naything. the amount of stress increases every day and whenever i cry or say something about it theyre like oh its cause of that phone your addicted to. I barely have screentime because im so busy, i dance and im at school all day to the point where i only come home to sleep. they are. also pushing me to go to college, which I cant be bothered anymore. I dont. want to go to school anymore and I want to dance. I want to go to europe and dance or something like that. I don't know i dont thik my parents will support me. They'll probably be like u cant make a living, u have to go to college. you porblably got this idea from your phone didn't u. like idk anymore, what do i have to do to convince my parents