Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 84

ok so like i don’t wanna sound mean or ungrateful or whatever, but my boyfriend is sooo clingy and i honestly don’t kno what to do about it anymore. like at first i thought it was cute, you kno? he’d always text me good morning and good night, always want to talk and tell me how much he likes me and stuff. and yeah, that felt nice at the beginning, cuz i never really had someone like pay that much attention to me before. but now it’s like... too much. like way too much. he wants to talk all the time, like literally 24/7. if i don’t answer his text in like 10 mins he starts asking if i’m mad or if something’s wrong or if i’m "losing feelings" 😩. like no dude, i was just doing homework or eating dinner with my fam, calm down!! i can’t even breathe without him needing some kind of reassurance, and it’s starting to really bug me.

it’s not just the texting either. he always wants to be with me at school too, like during lunch or between classes and even when i’m just tryna hang out with my other friends, he’s there. always right there. and i feel bad saying this but like... sometimes i just wanna chill with my girls without him clinged to me like glue 😭. one time i told him i needed a lil space to just hang with my friends and he got all quiet and moody for the rest of the day, like i did something wrong. like i’m not even allowed to have time without him or something. it’s starting to feel like i’m in this relationship with a puppy who cries the second you leave the room. i know that sounds harsh but fr that’s how it feels sometimes. nd the more i try to pull back a little, the more he pushes in closer.

what really gets me is that i don’t even think he means to be like this. like i know he likes me a lot, and that’s sweet and all, but it’s like he doesn’t understand that people need space too. like, being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to be glued together 24 hours a day. i wanna miss him sometimes. i wanna have space to think, to breathe, to still be my own person. but every time i try to explain that to him, he acts like i’m breaking up with him or something. and i’m not! i don’t even want to break up. i just want him to chill out a bit. it’s just getting so hard to enjoy anything when i feel like i’m constantly babysitting his feelings. like, i can’t even say “i’m busy” without a whole dramatic convo about whether or not i still care about him. bro, it’s not that deep, i just got math homework 😭.

i really don’t know what to do at this point. i don’t wanna hurt him cuz he’s honestly such a sweet guy and i know he means well, but this clingy stuff is really driving me nuts. i feel like if i keep letting it slide, i’m gonna start really resentin him, and that’s not fair to either of us. but if i bring it up again, i’m scared he’s just gonna shut down like always and make me feel bad again. i’m only 16 and already feel like i’m stuck in this adult relationship with all this pressure, when it’s supposed to be fun and cute, right? i just wish he could trust that i care about him even if we don’t talk 24/7. idk maybe i’m the bad one here for wanting space, maybe i’m just not ready for this kinda thing. but i really hope he can back off a little without it turning into some huge thing, cuz if not… i’m not sure how much longer i can keep doing this.

I'm just gonna refer to this person as Vi. So Vi was my close friend and also former crush. I had a huge crush on Vi when I was around 9 up until I was 14. Just for context, both me and Vi are female. When I confessed, Vi explained that she finds it disgusting to date a woman. At the time, I was really shattered by this and I still am until now. But let's fast forward to recently, I've finally managed to move on and fall in love with this girl who I'll just call as Kiwi. Since Vi was like a best friend to me regardless of what she said before, I told her that I really like Kiwi. I originally thought she was gonna be happy that I've finally stopped bothering her or anything. She got mad instead. She yelled at me for liking Kiwi and said that Kiwi is a big red flag for me. Even though she has never met nor talked to Kiwi before. This went on for a really long time until Kiwi got a girlfriend. Obviously, I was really heartbroken by this and tried to vent to Vi about this. But Vi dismissed my feelings and kept saying that she was right all along and I was just the idiot who fell in love. She also added that no one will like me as much as she does at all and I should be with her instead. If Vi had told me that years ago, I would've accepted it and gladly be her girlfriend. But now I really like Kiwi and I can't really just drop my current crush for someone who called me disgusting before. I told her I wasn't interested and apologised because I don't have any feelings for her anymore. She got even more furious after that comment and told me that I will never find anyone and I'll always suffer in romantical relationships. (P.S, I feel like this is a curse because it's true somehow. I am still unable to find love until today and I still suffer in finding love.) After that had happened, Vi went into my account without my knowledge, screenshotted the vents that I had vented to my friend about Kiwi getting a girlfriend and she posted it. I tried confronting Kev about this but she ignored me and changed the topic every single time. Soon, I started to give up and trying to communicate and it seems like she had also noticed it. But instead of trying to talk to me again, she spread a bunch of rumours about me online and told everyone all my secrets. The rumours got too intense at some point so I decided to just block her. After blocking her, I've received a few screenshots from friends. The screenshots consist of Vi telling everyone that she's glad that I've left her and I am a horrible monster. She also added that since I'm gone now she could easily spread even more rumours about me and laugh at me. Furthermore, she also wished that I would off myself one day and added how annoying I was and she had waited for this day to come for ages. Now I'm really wondering what I've actually did wrong and am I actually someone who messed up.

I used to wake up every morning and the first thing I’d think about was him. What he needed, what he wanted, what would make his day easier. For years, my life was completely wrapped around someone else’s comfort. I thought that was what love was supposed to be—giving, giving, giving. And then giving some more. I didn’t even notice how little of myself was left. After the divorce, I didn’t recognize who I was anymore. Not because I’d changed overnight, but because I’d been gone for so long I forgot what it felt like to actually be me. It took everything falling apart for me to realize I hadn’t loved myself in a long time. Maybe never. I was so busy being everything for someone else, I forgot how to be anything for myself.

The divorce wasn’t just an end to a marriage, it was like tearing off a layer of skin. Everything was raw. And lonely. I thought I’d feel free, but at first, all I felt was empty. And embarassed. Like I’d failed somehow, like I’d wasted all those years. Friends told me, “Now you can start over,” but I didn’t know where to begin. I didn’t even know what I liked to eat without him deciding. What music I wanted to play in the car. What shows I liked that weren’t his favorites. It sounds silly, but those little things matter. They’re pieces of you that you give up so slowly, you don’t even notice until you’re sitting in silence, alone, and don’t know what playlist to pick.

At first, I tried to fill the silence with distractions. I downloaded dating apps, I went out with friends even when I didn’t feel like it, I tried to prove to everyone that I was fine, better than fine. But I wasn’t. I was tired. emotionally and physically. I was carrying so much guilt and resentment and just… loss. I had to admit to myself that healing wasn’t gonna come from someone new. It had to come from me. From me giving myself all the care and attention I’d been giving someone else for over a decade. It meant sitting with my pain, even when it sucked. It meant crying in the car after grocery shopping. It meant stop pretending.

Little by little, I started doing small things just for me. I took walks without needing a destination. I started journaling, even if half the time I just wrote “i don’t know what i’m doing.” I went to therapy even tho it made me uncomfortable at first. I took long baths and lit candles for me, not for a vibe or for someone to notice. I started trying new hobbies, just to see if anything sparked joy. Painting, badly. Cooking things he’d never eat. Reading books that weren’t on his shelf. Bit by bit, I felt like I was meeting myself for the first time. And I kinda liked her. She was quieter than I remembered. Softer. But also stronger.

The biggest shift came when I stopped asking what I had done wrong to deserve the way he treated me. Because loving someone doesn’t mean losing yourself. And I finally understood that if you don’t love yourself first, you’ll accept a love that doesn’t love you back the right way. You’ll bend, shrink, hide, just to make it work. And that’s not love—that’s survival. And I don’t want to just survive anymore. I want to live. I want to laugh and feel proud and be loved the way I deserve, starting with myself. I don’t need to be perfect. I don’t need to have it all figured out. But I need to be kind to me.

So if you’re reading this, and you’re where I was, lost and grieving and doubting yourself… please know this: you are not broken. You are not unloveable. But you do have to choose you. Even if it feels selfish. Even if it hurts at first. Love yourself first, because you’re the one person who’s gonna be there from start to finish. Don’t wait for someone else to make you feel whole. Be the one who shows up for you. Every damn day.

I have a Father that is stubborn and neglectful, he would either give you the cold shoulder or talk non-stop.

My mom is criticizing and verbally abusive.. She would give you a label that sticks for life and will not change her mind about who you are.

My biggest sister was physically abusive and would do things according to her own convenience, regardless of whose day she ruined.

My first little sister is lazy and treats you like a ghost, she's sloppy and would leave garbage everywhere..

My youngest sister is a condescending arrogant bitch...

I am unlucky enough to be the only son in a family filled with women I would not want to live with.. They set up the standard for all my relationship, which is why I'm mostly single..

I spend my whole life trying to break free of the chains that is my family, and I have reached the age where they would constantly pester me about chaining myself to another family of my own...

I want to live by myself, free to do what I want, for fuck's sake, free to simply choose what color of bed sheets I like instead of getting lectures everytime I do something that is not up to their standards..

I just want to live free...

but in a way, I am wishing for them to disappear... And I feel guilty

Lately, I’ve been going to work with a knot in my stomach, and I can’t really explain why. It’s not the tasks—I’m actually pretty good at what I do. I meet my deadlines, I show up on time, I don’t slack off. But there’s this weird vibe around me, like a silent wall I can’t break through. People don’t smile when I say good morning. My suggestions in meetings are either ignored or shot down like they’re stupid. I’ll say something, and no one reacts—then someone else says almost the same thing, and suddenly everyone’s nodding like it’s genius. I’ve tried to brush it off, telling myself maybe they’re just busy or having a bad day. But it’s been months. And now I’m starting to wonder… why do people hate me for no reason? Because that’s how it feels. Like I walk into the room and immediately get side-eyed or dismissed, and I honestly don’t know what I did wrong.

I’ve replayed everything in my head a million times. I’m not rude, I don’t gossip, I mind my own business. I even bring snacks sometimes just to lighten the mood. I try to make small talk when it's appropriate, ask people about their weekends, compliment someone’s outfit. But the responses are always short, cold, like they’re trying to get rid of me. And then I see them laughing together, making lunch plans, having these inside jokes I’m never a part of. It’s not that I want to be everyone’s best friend, but it’d be nice to feel like I’m not the unwanted one in the office. Like I actually belong there. Sometimes I wonder if I give off some kind of energy I’m not aware of. Do I look too serious? Too quiet? Too something? It messes with your head after a while. You start doubting yourself, even when logically, you know you haven’t done anything to deserve being left out.

The worst is when I actually do speak up about it, or hint at how I feel, and people act like I’m being dramatic. “Oh no one hates you,” they say. “You’re overthinking it.” But they don’t see what I see. They’re not the ones being left out of group chats or ignored in conversations. They don’t feel the tension when they walk into the breakroom. They don’t catch the glances, the whispering that suddenly stops when I get too close. It’s a silent kind of exclusion, the kind you can’t really prove, but you feel it in your chest every single day. And the more people deny it, the more isolated I feel. Because then it’s not just them pushing me away—it’s also me being made to feel crazy for noticing it at all.

I’ve considered quitting more times than I can count. But then I ask myself: am I gonna run away from every place that treats me like this? Or should I just grow thicker skin and push through it? That’s what people always say, right? “Don’t take it personal,” “just focus on your work,” “they’re probably jealous.” But saying that doesn’t take the pain away. It doesn’t make the loneliness easier. It doesn’t make me feel any less like the outsider. I want to believe that things will change, that maybe one person will reach out, invite me in, make me feel like I matter. But that hasn’t happened yet. And I’m tired of waiting. I’m tired of wondering if I did something wrong when I’ve bent over backwards trying to be kind, respectful, and professional.

So yeah, I don’t know why people hate me for no reason. Maybe there is a reason and they’re just too immature to say it to my face. Or maybe it’s all in their heads, their projections, their issues. Whatever it is, I’m slowly learning that I can’t let their coldness define how I see myself. I’m still showing up, still doing the best I can, even if no one claps for me when I succeed. And maybe that’s enough for now. Maybe one day I’ll find a workplace where I don’t feel like a ghost. But until then, I’m holding on. Trying to believe I’m not as unlikable as they make me feel. Because deep down, I know I deserve better. Even if they never see it.

my day went horrbie cuz I said the most stupids shit I ever said it bad cuz I didnt mean to say that it just came out of mouth I didn't want to do anything about it so I'ma just skip tm I don't wanna deal with this bullshit dude it hurts so fucking much I cant even explain how it does its fucking stupid I just want to kms after that I swear I don't wanna be here anymore after that dude I am hurt rn I am tried of this shit dude..

Technically its not much of a school story but i couldnt find a similair tag.

My best friend(ill call her B) tends to say things on my behalf and it started off sort of small, she told our homeroom teacher that i had a mental problem which was why i was frequently not doing the homework, of course i was mad but i let it go but after that, people would come up to me and say "you have adhd, right?" Or just screaming "you have autism!" In the halls (both of which i dont have) i wasnt bothered much but it tends to get annoying if people just point and stare for something i dont have. Another thing she does oh so nicely on my behalf(note the sarcasm) is go up to my other bestfriend ( ill call her v, we are a trio) after they get into a fight which was practically happening every two dats or so, and hand her a note stating that she, B and i wont be friends with her anymore, i had no say in this and i keep ask her to stop since im never involved in their fights and would like to still be friends with v but she still included my name. After a big fight between them( i dont know what for) B stopped being friends with V even though v tried to make up and become friends again, ofc its her choice and id respect it but! She clearly doesnt respect mine since whenever i try to talk to V ( we are still close) she just comes up and goes " why are you talking to our classmate" in the most 'i want you to leave' tone and then grabs my hand and drags me away from her but she still manages to get jealous when v makes new friends and slowly distances from us. Im not sure if i should keep quiet or if i should just ask her to stop. Im just worried if i speak up that i would lose B, we are close and i feel safe around her, i dont want to destroy that.

my story doesn't fall into family drama but I couldn't find another fitting category

so...I'm a student in university and I have this exam coming. Fail and you pay quite a huge amount to rebook.

I've been trying to study for it since Sun and I've been stuck on module 1(a 2 hour educational video) ever since. I've only managed to study 40 mins. I'm delayed due to procrastination and laziness and I'm forever fighting for time. I sit and try to study in my room so I hardly see my family even though it's my study break right now.

a few minutes ago, I was on a call with my grandparents and they said they won't speak to me much and occupy my time since they know I have an exam coming. they teared up while mentioning that I always work so hard and that they pray I do well and ace the exam.

it hurts to know that I'm not even working that hard, I'm not even putting in that much effort even though I have the time and means and yet they all hold me so high. how do I tell them that I don't work that hard - not studying 24/7 because I'm so lazy and a procrastinator ? internally I'm broken because I know my truth and I can't find the heart to tell anyone here that I can't find myself to sit for long enough with full concentration and be efficient and productive without getting distracted and needing to watch something to make me feel happy and less ...lonely ? I don't know

I was supposed to leave a question but I honestly don't know what my point was and I don't know what I'm feeling or what I need to ask 😭

thank you for listening to me!

I'm learning Korean just for the fun of it (I'm a Kpop fan, don't judge me)

It's proving WAY harder than I originally thought ngl-

but I'm using Duolingo, and I listen to A LOT of Kpop, so I should be good ig?

idk

but listening to kpop in theory should help, it's possible (the lead singer of one ok rock [japanese] learned English by listening to Linkin Park so...)

When I told my friend I'm learning Korean, she said "Bro no way-"

idk it's like i'm just blank

I never thought I’d be in this position. You raise your kids, you give them everything you’ve got—your time, your money, your love—and you think one day it’ll all make sense. That maybe they’ll appreciate it, or at the very least, respect you as they get older. But now, at 56 years old, I find myself constantly walking on eggshells around my own children, who are in their 20s and early 30s. They speak to me in ways I wouldn’t have dreamed of speaking to my parents. The tone, the eye-rolls, the sarcasm—it stings more than I care to admit. I try to talk to them like adults, to find common ground, but everything turns into an argument or gets brushed off like I’m some outdated relic who doesn’t get it. They treat me like I’m clueless, like my opinion doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t expect them to agree with me on everything, of course, but there’s a basic level of decency I thought we’d built—and lately, I just don’t feel it.

It’s hard, because I still see the little kids in them. I remember teaching them how to ride a bike, watching movies together, helping with homework. I didn’t always get it right, I’ll admit that. I made mistakes, like any parent. I worked a lot, I was strict at times, I didn’t always know how to express emotions the way they wanted. But everything I did, I did out of love and a desire to see them succeed. And now that they’re grown, it’s like the script has flipped completely. They criticize the way they were raised, throw words like “toxic” and “trauma” around like darts. And it hurts. It hurts more than I can put into words. I don’t get the benefit of the doubt. I don’t get asked how I’m doing. I just get blamed for everything that went wrong, while all the good I tried to do gets forgotten. And the worst part is, I start to question myself. Was I really that bad of a father? Or are they just seeing me through a lens I’ll never be able to clean?

I’ve been trying to find ways to reconnect, to rebuild that mutual respect. But I’ll be honest, I don’t always know where to start. I’ve read the books, tried to open up more, asked for their thoughts even when it’s hard to hear. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it just makes things worse. I try not to react when they get rude, but I’m still human. It’s difficult not to take it personal when your own child rolls their eyes at you or talks to you like you’re stupid. I want to be close to them, but not at the cost of being constantly disrespected. So if you’re asking how to deal with disrespectful adult children, I guess the best I can say is: stay patient, keep the door open, but don’t let yourself be walked on. Set boundaries, as hard as that is when you love them so much. And maybe one day they’ll understand that you weren’t trying to control them—you were just trying your best to love them in the only way you knew how.

i don’t even kno where to start, it’s just this feeling that’s been sittin heavy on me for a while now. like every room i walk into, every group chat i’m in, every lunch table, i just feel out of place. like no one actually wants me there. they tolerate me, maybe, but they don’t really like me. and i kno that sounds dramatic or whatever, but that’s how it feels. i’ll say something and everyone either ignores it or just moves on like i never spoke. then someone else says the same exact thing and they all laugh or agree. it’s like i’m invisible. i used to think i was just overthinking it, like maybe i was being too sensitive or reading into stuff, but it keeps happening over and over. my friends, if i can even call them that anymore, don’t really reach out. i’m always the one texting first, always the one making plans. if i don’t, no one checks in. nd when i do text, sometimes it takes hours or days to get a reply. but then i see them active online, postin stories, likin stuff, hangin out together without me. nd yeah it hurts. like really bad. makes me wonder what’s so wrong with me that i’m always the one left out. i try to be nice, to be fun, to be someone people wanna be around. but it never feels like enough. nd it’s not just friends either, it’s like in class too, or anywhere really. like when i talk people dont listen, like i just fade into the background.

sometimes i wonder if it’s just who i am. maybe i’m too quiet, or maybe too awkward or boring. maybe i say weird stuff without realizing it. maybe my face looks stuck-up or my laugh is annoying or i just give off some weird vibe people dont like. nd i kno it’s stupid to care so much, but how do you not care when it feels like no one sees you? not really. i’m tired of pretending like it dont bother me, like being alone all the time is fine, like scrolling through pics of people having fun without me doesn’t make me wanna cry. nd i hate how much power it has over me, how one ignored text or one missed invite can ruin my whole day. i wish i could just not care, just be happy with myself no matter what, but i don’t even kno who that is anymore. it’s like i’m always trying to be enough for people who don’t even notice i’m trying. and it sucks. it makes me feel like maybe i’m just meant to be the background character in everyone’s life. and no matter how hard i try to change it, that feeling just stays. always. so yeah, why do i feel like no one likes me? maybe cuz deep down, i don’t really like me either. and maybe that’s the real problem.

Heyah! I hope everyone is doing well.

I am recently going to move into my cousin's mansion in April, but I wanted to talk about ideal homes. Totally a long-winded subject. I know for many people(not all) they want to have a larger home. But for me(personally)... I think a home that's on the somewhat smaller side would be more of what I'd want.

I'd want to have a single-level home(NO STAIRS!!!). 2 bedrooms(master and guest). 3 bathrooms(master, guest, and powder). 1 Smaller kitchen(I'm not much of a cook). A small living room. Ideally no dining room. And having a smart use of storage would be nice. Since I own a lot of collections(Sea shells, crystals, books, etc). I don't care about clothing space... since I don't own a lot of clothes. I'm more of a nick-nack person, rather than a clothing person. I'd ideally like a washer and dryer in my home, as I grew up new a laundry mat and now would want the convenience of a washer and dryer of my own. Vinyl or any type of hard flooring would be nice... I am so forking done with carpet !!! I've had cats and dogs in my old home... and they k*lled my carpet!!!

I like East Asian mixed with modern art deco for the theme of my ideal home. I know for a fact that I wouldn't want a basement or an attic cause I don't like the psychological sh*t that goes on in horror movies... so, basements and attics are off-limits.

I think the main thing that would probably eat away at my budget if I ever did get my own home is the fact that I am completely afraid of the dark... like... I can't sleep at all if there is even a dark shadow in the corner. So, I'd keep my lights on 24/7 in the entire house. I also usually wake up to have water or a cold glass of milk in the middle of the night, and walking in the dark gives me a fright! So, lights on 24/7!!!

And if anything, I don't mind forgoing the guest bedroom and guest bathroom, cause small also means less to clean.

Anyway... I'm kinda sleepy since I took some pain medications due to my car accident... I'll write more stories later when I have more energy.

Eat good food and drink lots of water guys!!!

(Also... to clarify... I know that what I described isn't a "small house"... but it's significantly smaller than my cousin's mansion... which is why I'm saying it's small). When I lived in Cali... my ideal home was actually a studio apartment with lots of cool fold-in, fold-out stuff, and hidden storage stuff. But being on both poor and rich sides now... I think a middle ground would feel nice.

i swear im not tryin to be dramatic or like make it all about me or whatever but like lately i just feel so invisible around my own friends. like we all in this group chat, right? nd we always been close, since like 8th grade or somethin. but now its like they all hang out without me nd pretend like its no big deal. they post pics together, go to the mall, get food, even do sleepovers nd im just there scrollin my phone like… cool. guess my invite got lost again. nd what hurts the most is that they dont even say anything about it after. no "sorry we forgot to ask u" or "u should come next time!" just silence. nd when i bring it up all i get is “oh it wasn’t really planned” or “it just sorta happened” like girl be fr, stuff dont “just happen” when u got matching outfits in the pic.

maybe it’s me tho. maybe i’m too quiet or weird or not fun enough. i dont got the best clothes or the prettiest hair or the funniest jokes. i try to be there for them always, like i hype them up, i listen when they got problems, i show up to stuff when they do remember to include me. but somehow it always feels like i’m on the outside. like a guest in a group that i used to be part of. like they all moved on nd i’m still here tryna hold on to somethin that ain’t even real anymore. nd then i start thinkin like, was i ever really their friend?? or was i just there, like background noise, someone they talked to when it was convenient but never really mattered to them?

the worst is when i see them laughin all hard in videos together or taggin each other in inside jokes. nd i’m sittin there like… ok cool guess i wasnt there for that moment either. nd i kno its dumb to get upset over social media, but when that’s the only way u find out your friends are hangin without u, it kinda stings different. nd then when i try to act like it dont bother me, they act like nothin happened. like we still tight. but it don’t feel tight. it feels fake. it feels like i’m holdin onto old memories while they makin new ones without me in it.

i been tryna figure out if i did something wrong. did i say something? act weird? maybe i’m annoying and no one wanna say it. maybe i’m just not enough for them anymore. nd it messes with my head fr. makes me scared to reach out first cuz what if they’re just being polite when they reply? what if they hang out again nd just don’t say anything bc they dont wanna deal with me bein upset? i hate feelin like i’m too much and not enough at the same time. nd the thing is i love them. i really do. they were like sisters to me. but lately i dont even recognize our friendship.

it makes me wanna pull away, like maybe if i stop trying so hard they’ll notice. but what if they dont? what if i stop texting nd no one even checks on me? what if i disappear nd it dont even matter? that’s what scares me the most. not being missed. being so easy to replace that my absence feels like peace instead of pain to them. nd i know that sounds heavy but its how i feel. i used to laugh with them every single day, we shared secrets, cried together, planned our futures. now it’s just awkward convos nd quick replies. nd me, watching from the sidelines.

so yeah, i dont kno why i’m the friend that gets left out. maybe i’m just not the kind of person people wanna keep around. maybe i care too much, feel too deep, talk too soft. but it hurts. it hurts more than i can say. nd i wish someone would just tell me the truth instead of slowly pushing me away like i wouldn’t notice. bc i did. i noticed everything. every missed invite. every picture i wasn’t in. every laugh that didn’t include me. i saw it all. nd even if i smile and act like i’m okay, i’m not. i’m really not.

My friend is deliberately ignoring me for reasons I can't explain. I've just kind of shut off the world. My voice stopped working so I can't talk to him to let him know how I feel. I just feel like a horrible person. I can't do life anymore. I can't find any reason to stay alive anymore. Either I'm going to kms or run away. Probably the former.