Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 82

I swear my father is the most useless human being on earth. All he does is lay around all day and demand shit from us. He doesn’t gave a job, he’s not retired he just doesn’t wanna work. Mind you i am one of 4 kids. FOUR KIDS. The youngest among us is 7 years old. The only income we get is from the government which, no surprise, it’s not enough. He’s genuinely so fucking useless.

He literally walked into my room while i was on call with a friend and demanded i go study. Yes i get that i have finals but i need a fucking break. All this bitch does is sleep 15 hours a day and wake up at ungodly hours to play his shitty game all night and go back to sleep. And when he’s awake he makes it everyone’s problem.

I wish i could runaway with my gf. We’ve been dating for almost a year now and i love her. Genuinely life would be so much better if i didnt have an old hag nagging me everyday about shit he cant even do himself

Man, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I swear, I try so hard, I put in the hours, I do the work, but somehow it’s never enough. I thought I was smart, or at least average, but ever since I started my engineering studies, it’s like I’m constantly the dumbest guy in the room. I sit in class, listen to the professor explain something, and literally nothing clicks. Then I look around and see everyone nodding like they get it, asking these super technical questions that I don’t even understand enough to know what they’re talking about. I go home, rewatch the lectures, read the textbook, even look up YouTube videos that break it down in a way a 5-year-old could understand. Still nothing. It’s like my brain just refuses to process anything beyond basic math and physics. And don’t even get me started on exams. I walk in hoping for at least a decent grade, and every time, it’s like my mind goes blank. Half the questions look like they were written in another language, and even when I think I know the answer, I second guess myself so much that I end up changing it to the wrong one. I see other people finishing early, walking out looking all confident, and I’m still sitting there, staring at my paper like it’s gonna start answering itself. I try telling myself I just need to study harder, but I do study. Hours and hours, every single day. So if I’m putting in the effort and still failing, then... why am I stupid?

It’s not even like I’m lazy. I’ve seen people who barely study, who just skim through the materiall the night before and somehow pull off good grades. Meanwhile, I’m grinding like my life depends on it, and I still barely scrape by. My friends try to be nice about it. They say stuff like, "Bro, engineering is just hard for everyone, you’ll get there," but then they turn around and ace every assignment while I’m still stuck on step one. I don’t wanna be the guy who holds the group project back, but I can feel it happening. The way they explain things to me, the way they “help” but end up just doing the work themselves because I’m taking too long. It’s humiliating. I used to think I was good at problem-solving, but now every problem just feels like a dead end. I see my classmates who are actually passionate about this stuff, who spend their free time building things, programming just for fun, and I can’t relate at all. I don’t enjoy this. It’s just constant stress, constant failure, and I don’t even know why I’m still here. If I’m struggling this much now, how the hell am I supposed to survive the next few years? And then after that, actually work as an engineer? No company’s gonna wanna hire the guy who barely made it through college.

I keep wonderingg if I should just quit. Maybe this isn’t for me. Maybe I’m just not smart enough to do this kind of work, and I should accept that before I waste even more time and money. But then what? It’s not like I have some other passion waiting for me. Engineering was supposed to be the plan, the safe choice, the thing that would guarantee a good job. If I walk away from this, then what do I even do? My parents would be disappointed, I’d have to start over with something new, and I have no clue what that would even be. I don’t wanna be a dropout. I don’t wanna be a failure. But I also don’t wanna keep feeling like this, like I’m just too dumb to be here. I keep hoping one day it’ll just “click,” that suddenly things will start making sense, but I’m starting to think that’s never gonna happen. Maybe some people are just not meant for this kind of stuff, and I’m one of them. And honestly, if that’s true, then I don’t know what I’m supposed to do next...

I swear, sometimes I think my parents just want me to be miserable. Like, no matter what I do, it’s never good enough. If I get a B on a test, they like "why not an A?" If I actually get an A, they say "Well, was probably an easy test, right?" Like, can you just say good job for once??? And then they wonder why I don’t wanna talk to them. It’s like they only care about me when I do something wrong. And the rules?? Omg, don’t even get me started. I have to ask for everything. Can I go to my friend’s house? No. Can I stay out past 9 PM? No. Can I have my phone in my room at night? Of course not. Meanwhile, my little brother does whatever he wants. He stays up till like 2AM playing video games, leaves his stuff everywhere, and guess what?? No one cares!! But if I forget to put one stupid plate in the sink, suddenly it’s "you need to start taking more responsiblity in this house." Bro, I literally do everything. I help with chores, I do my homework, I try to be nice, but somehow I’m still the problem. It’s like they just wanna control me 24/7, and then they act shocked when I don’t wanna be around them. Like, gee, I wonder why.

And the worst part is, they act like my feelings don’t even matter. Like, if I say I’m stressed, they hit me with the "you don’t even know what real stress is." If I say I’m tired, it’s "you’re young, you have no reason to be tired." Ok then, sorry for existing I guess??? Just because I don’t have a job doesn’t mean school isn’t insanely exhausting. And don’t even get me started on the whole privacy thing. They act like I’m some criminal or something, always wanting to check my phone, asking a million questions about who I’m talking to, like why do you care so much? It’s not like I’m out here selling drugs or whatever. I just wanna have my own space without being treated like a little kid. But nope, apparently having basic privacy means I’m hiding something. I’m just so tired of feeling like no matter what I do, I’m still a disappointment to them. And then when I actually try to talk to them about it, they just get mad or say I’m being dramatic. Maybe I am dramatic, idk, but it’s not like they actually listen to me. They act like they know me but they don’t. I hate how they make me feel like I’m never enough. I hate how they don’t even try to understand me. I hate how I can’t even hate them properly, cause no matter how mad I get, I still love them. But sometimes, I really just wish they would see me for who I actually am instead of who they want me to be.

TW: Suicide and SA

How do I even start this? My parents screwed me over. I got my mom's anxiety, and my dad's depression and addiction. I didn't learn about any of this until it was too late. I have struggled with anxiety and depression for years, and the addiction gene just feeds of that shit. My parents treat my sister like shit and they fight a lot and vent to me about everyone and everything, so the addiction just moves me to another place in my mind. The first addiction I ever had was to hurting myself, and that nearly put me in the hospital. But I was getting help and had a couple good months, so I thought I was ok. But I didn't focus on the other problem developing. At first it was fine, but now I get blackout or close to blackout drunk every weekend (sometimes during the week), and I just want to stop, but I am surrounded by it all the time. I go to a party school and all my friends like to drink. I don't feel forced to drink, it just gives me an excuse to.

One time when I was out and drinking with friends, I was SA'ed. I had never been more disappointed in myself in my life and I wanted to disappear. Instead of taking the chance to make this a learning lesson, I continued to make horrible decisions. Only a few people know, but they only know parts. I told them that I only remember what he looked like and not his name, which is a lie. During the attack, I sobered up a bit, and I remember almost everything. I look over my shoulder a lot, hoping my past mistake doesn't come back to haunt me.

After a couple months, I hadn't gotten my period since the attack, and I was so fucking scared. I didn't speak or see any of my friends for 4 days, until after I took the test. The worst part of the whole week was the realization that I was not pregnant. At first, I had never been so relieved, but now I just feel like something is missing. I look at myself and I can feel apart of me missing. I don't know if it's the innocence I lost from that night, or what could have been.

I just got back from a trip with friends, and none of them really suspect anything of what I have been feeling. And I feel like a terrible person for feeling like this, because I should be happy and shit, but I'm not. This is not the worst I have ever felt, but it is close. I always thought I would grow up to be someone my past self would admire, but I think now I would just scare her.

I want to be not human for a bit. I want to take away my feelings, just for a time. Would that everything worse, probably. But at this point, I just want God to take away my pain.

if i was your daughter, what would you say so that she doesn't keep on thinking of self-harming more than she has so far and give up on life? i'm starving for someone's love and it doesn't matter if i sound overly desperate anymore. pls?

My intelligence is in decline, and it shows through my dropping grades and my sudden inability to form a single thread of rational/coherent thought, nonetheless converse properly with others. This might have been because I withdrew myself for the past few years, isolating myself from all social contact like a fool because I couldn't handle relationships anymore and pitied myself for being part of a broken home---it might've been because all the pain I felt back then messed up my brain.

I can't think clearly anymore, and my head feels stuffy all day every day; it doesn't stop. I've said so many hurtful things to this girl I recently came to care about, because I didn't realize what I was saying as my brain short-circuited every second and automatically rushed to the first (and often inappropriate) thing that came to mind. I'm so frustrated with myself right now. Before my withdrawal I used recognize and manage people's emotions really well and be able to navigate my interactions with others with a degree of emotional intelligence; now I'm simply an airhead who's too stuck up in the clouds to concentrate on her words.

I also used to excel in school and was basically the "smart kid" in class. Now I've built up a reputation of holding her head in front of the whole class, crying, "I'm sorry; my brain is short-circuiting"; stupidly staring at her textbook with a blank stare when the teacher asked her to answer a question about what we read; and responding to "What American history topic do you want to write a poem on?" with "Bloody Mary."

I went to a doctor last November in search of answers, and it was confirmed that I had an iron deficiency (but not anemic yet). I took pills regularly afterwards, but even now that my iron levels are in normal range, I still experience brain fog. I told my doctor about this, and it just seems everything points to a mental problem. Yet I can't check with a psychologist because of circumstances that can't be helped. I can't do this anymore. I feel like an utter failure and feel so alone right now.

When I posted last time about my friend, I wasn’t being mean or anything. I just want to vent out that it is frustrating sometimes that some of their issues take over the conversation. And it is unfair to a point where I feel like I’m a therapist. I don’t wanna be ridiculed or have this main character problem with a friend but I complain. Am I a bad friend? To anyone who think I am, I am working on it. It’s just that sometimes they are the one who controls the conversation and I tried to put my voice in it but they get upset if I say the wrong thing I hope that gives anyone who understands what it’s like to have a friend like that so am I a best friend?

everything i do, everything i say feel wrong, i didnt actually mean anything, it was just old stuff i wanted to bring back, now i look like a creep to everyone i depend on, i am shaking as i write this, the more i try not to act like a creep the more the people who i consider friends point it out, i dont want to be in this state of me anymore i dont like myself at all, i did the same mistake twice and i feel like these people are faking their words just for me not to kill myself, i'm a man i'm supposed to be able to handle this but this is so hard to accept, it feels like the world turned its back on me, i dont want to live like this anymore, you can't tell me not to do something i'd regret for the rest of my life, i've regretted everything my whole life, anything i did just killed me right in front of you, either i am being too sensitive or you being too sensitive it doesnt fucking matter, i am dead, i started to hate everyone when i was 13, i was too young to feel that way, i crave happiness, i was not the person i thought i was, i am fucking suck

Hubby and I are from different countries/cultures.

We ended up moving to Australia before Covid struck 😒 we eventually settled in and life moved on around the world. My in-laws all live in one area. Hubby and I settled nearby and everything was fine. The kids love their grandparents and they are good to me.

However…

I miss my parents so much. I am an only child and my babies are their only grandbabies. It breaks my heart. But hubby is good to me and supports us well. In-laws are good to me too. Just the culture differences get to me sometimes. In-laws have other grandchildren nearby. They are “well off” so they tend to live their lives separate from their children. That’s fine. I’m used to family in your face everyday lol.

The thing that bothers me is they will pass on spending time with their grandkids just because. They want to shop or go out for dinner on their own. We have invited them over and they will refuse without a reason. I’m aghast because I know my parents would kill to spend everyday with their grandbabies!!

I know I can’t change anything. I hate it’s so expensive to fly to Australia! I hate my parents are not well off and can’t afford to visit! They’ve come once and are saving up to come again. Hubby and I have even told them we can help a bit. My dad has offered to send my mom on her own just to save money. I hate that for them! I want them to be next door and my babies see them everyday and be loved so much by two more people! My parents are one of the best in the world! They are so wonderful and sacrificial! They deserve the world and especially their only grandbabies to be nearby to hug and kiss and love on them all day everyday!!!!

Two years ago, we moved about 300 miles away. It sucked for me because now we are not near family. In-laws have come to visit once. Once! In two years. Again, I can’t believe it. They can afford to travel but choose not to. My parents would give anything to see us once every two years! I’m trying to respect their decisions but can’t help think of my parents. I get so upset with my in-laws in my mind. I guess that’s how they stay “well off”, don’t spend too much money. It just annoys me for the kids. They deserve loving grandparents nearby 💔

For starters, hubby and I come from different backgrounds/cultures.

We had another baby about six months ago. After a few weeks, my in-laws came (from out of town; ~500miles away) to help out. They were great with the other kids: did school drop off and pick ups, went to the playground, read them books, etc. Since it wasn’t my first, I recovered better and felt pretty good. We discussed cooking schedules and I offered a few meals here and there. The visit was a success and they went home.

They decided to come back two months later since the kids had school events they wanted to see plus they could keep helping. No biggie. We welcomed them with open arms. It should be said that they brought their RV and stayed in that during their stays. We have enough space on our property and it’s not in the way by any means.

This visit was rougher. I will admit, communication was not as explicit as their first visit.

They weren’t taking the kids to school! I got everyone ready the first morning and even said “Ok, you guys are ready for school! Have a fun day!” In-laws were sitting in the living room reading books to the younger kids. I know they would have heard me. The last visit, Gpa would be waiting with keys in hand while I finished brushing hair and then walk everyone out. Not this time. He just sat there watching the little kids. I started doing the dishes bc I figured they would leave soon. After about five minutes, I realised “they aren’t going to take them, are they? I will have to take them.” I stopped washing the dishes and called out “ok time to go. In the van everyone.” Sure enough, gpa and gma were like “bye kids. Have a great day. See you this afternoon.” Since I hadn’t expected to leave, the baby was still asleep and I asked if they could just keep an ear out for the baby. They said, ”Actually, we’re going out for a coffee.” So, no. After wrangling all the kids into the van, I had to come back for the baby and put them in the van. Needless to say, the school kids were late. I had to get everyone out of the van, strap in baby, wrangle toddlers and guide the older two to the office then their classroom then back to van. I returned home. After about ten minutes, I get a text my MIL “We’re at [this cafe]. Join us after drop off.” That sounded lovely and nice but I was already home and baby back in the crib. I turned it down with a frown.

Fast forward. I’m doing all the dropping off and picking up with ALL my kiddos! But tell you what, we weren’t tardy anymore! 😩I’m having to cook every other day. Well, the cooking wasn’t terrible but the time when I had to start cooking was stressful bc they “eat by a certain time. Can’t sleep otherwise.” This visit was more of a vacation for them and more work for us this time around. I think they spent like 30 minutes reading books and playing with the kids and then it was “going for a coffee” or “going to lunch” or “we’re tired. Going to rest see you at dinner”. Every day. I won’t go into their comments. Not derogatory, just like “oh this is so nice and relaxing“ and I’m over here on my last thread!!!

Second trip was zero helping! They watched the kids for a short bit and we wouldn’t see them until after school and then dinner. The kids were always asking where Gpa and Gma were. I just had to say they went to their RV to sleep. We’ll see then at dinner. Poor kids just wanted their fun grandparents.

Thinking back. That trip was frustrating bc the kids wanted to see them and spend time with them and they wouldn’t stay in the house long enough. I know they are “old” and have the prerogative to rest. So why plan a trip you can’t handle? Stay home and rest. Don’t come and get the grandkids all riled up and not spend time with them. That’s what upset me. Do and say what you want to me but spend time with the grandkids!!

I’m turning 40 this year! Hubby said he would love to do something nice for me but doesn’t know how and asked for my help. I like to think he wants me to choose a venue and he can take it from there, maybe? Or how much help does he need? How much of this will I be planning? I would like it to be from him; idc if it’s a surprise party or not. We have a good relationship but I wonder how much he really knows me. I told him to ask my girlfriends for help. But we do have this relationship rule where we don’t text or talk to people of the opposite sex alone without the other CCd or around in person. Fair enough. So how can I encourage him to do this on his own? For the big 4-0, I don’t want to have to be involved unless asked “which flavor cake would you like?” Lol

For his 40th, I asked my party planning friends for help. I’m not super creative but they helped me narrow down some ideas and we pulled off a nice get-together with some friends and family. No biggie. We aren’t ones for huge Hollywood-style shindigs. I’m not asking for anything big. It just really bothered me he is asking ME for help to plan MY birthday. How can I respond to him without sounding like a spoiled brat?

Claiming someone else’s work isn’t just unfair—it’s deeply indoctrinated in our society as morally wrong. Whether it’s copyright infringement, theft, plagiarism, or cultural appropriation, taking credit for something that isn’t yours is something everyone has confronted. But why are parents excluded from the equation? Why do they violate the very first rule they teach into their children?

I owe a lot to my parents; not just for clothes, food, and education, but also the opportunities they’ve given me. There’s much to appreciate, and even more to give back. All my life, they’ve given me the resources I needed to thrive. A prominent example is school. I was privileged enough to be driven in bad weather, and to own a bike on sunny days. My desk was always fully stocked with calculators, notebooks, and computers, granting me access to a limitless world of knowledge. I owed them all my happiness, success, and achievements. Until now.

A single Google search on one unparticular afternoon shattered the illusion I had lived in for a decade. “Tiger Parenting”, coined by Amy Chua (an American author and law professor), prioritizes the academic performance of a child over anything else. As I scrolled down the article, puzzle pieces that seemed to fit teared themselves apart and rearranged themselves into a grotesque, rancid truth.

Suddenly, all the words and phrases and speeches my parents gave had a new meaning. I didn’t own my life. They did.

Here are a few examples:

School.

I’m high achiever at school. That’s something I can state confidently and without doubt. My short-term memory was close to photographic, and I could spell Erlenmeyer without having a stroke.

The grade was 73%. On that Tuesday, I had written a narrative essay and had an upcoming biology test (which I received 100% on). The quiz was on quadratics—something I could do in my sleep with one left hand. Yet when I received the results, the entire second page was bleeding with red ink.

My parents were outraged, to say the least. Mind you, this was the beginning of the second semester, and the second quiz we’ve had (the first being a review). Last semester, my average was an unweighted 98%. But my parents were having none of it. Bad day? Just an excuse. You are unworthy of college, and don’t even think about university. You’re going to end up homeless like those kids who vape at your school.

No joke. This is the direct translation from Chinese-English to full English. It didn’t matter what I said. The message was repeated for two hours. It discussed everything from carelessness to selfishness to lack of responsibility to lack of time management to stupidity to my future to other classmates. The purpose was clear: degrade me into never thinking about below a 95% ever again.

Robotics.

I participated in the FIRST Robotics Competition, an unforgettable experience that inspires students through competitive robotics, emphasizing teamwork, innovation, and real-world engineering skills. One of its most prestigious honors is the Dean’s List, awarded to ten individuals who demonstrate outstanding dedication to FIRST. I was nominated as a Dean’s List semi-finalist for my commitment and leadership within my team.

I earned this recognition on my own. My parents weren’t involved—I applied myself, wrote my own essays, and highlighted my own achievements. To advance to the finalist stage, I was required to complete an interview at an upcoming event about two months later.

Somehow, through a connection (probably another parent), my own folks heard about my nomination. And suddenly, it felt like they were the ones preparing for the interview. Every evening, I was pressured—forced to answer practice questions, take notes, and rehearse over and over again. Whenever I pushed back, things escalated.

"Write it, or you’re not going out with friends tomorrow."

"Prepare for it. Your grades aren’t enough, and this is something you need to succeed in life."

"You need to stand out from your classmates.”

"Why don’t you rehearse during your school lunch break? You don’t need the break anyways.”

It all had the same message: if you don’t prepare for this interview, you’re not worth anything to me or anyone else.

I hated the pressure. My reasoning was simple and clear: I found this opportunity myself, and I’m going to prepare for it myself. I’m not doing this interview for you—I’m doing it for me. So, I don’t need to prepare on your schedule or drop everything to do it.

And then came the counterarguments:

"If I hadn’t driven you to robotics every Saturday, you wouldn’t have had the opportunity in the first place."

"If I hadn’t paid for your lessons, you wouldn’t have had anything to write on your application."

“If I didn’t drive you to school every day, you wouldn’t have had good marks to brag about.”

Again, the message was the same: You owe me this, and you’re going to do it my way.

That’s not the end. At our first event, I was nominated as Safety Captain, responsible for promoting a safe working environment in the venue. I did not mention this to my parents. There was one award at stake—The Safety All-Star. It may have seemed small and insignificant, but the idea of having one thing that I could truly call my own, something I had earned through my own effort, was tantalizing.

Through my own hard work—hand-drawn safety signs, networking, and carefully prepared responses to interviews from the safety managers—the moment when my name was announced was nothing short of unbelievable. My cheeks ached from the grin that stretched across my face, and I couldn’t remember the last time I had smiled so widely, so genuinely. At last, I had earned something all on my own.

But a few days later, as we drove home, that sense of accomplishment quickly deflated. Through another parent, my mom had heard about the award and, once again, tried to take the significance from me.

“If I hadn’t driven you to those lifeguarding lessons, you wouldn’t have been able to demonstrate those skills and win.”

“Without me signing the consent form, you wouldn’t have gone in the first place.”

“It’s only because I paid for your art classes that you could’ve made those signs so well.”

Again, the same message: You’re only worth who you are because of me.

Conclusion.

So, this is my haunting question. If everything I accomplish—achieve, contribute, design, make, write, or win—belongs to my parents and was only possible through them, what is my own life worth? If I don’t own anything, even my own life, then who am I?

This is not the first existential crisis I’ve had, yet every time I’m able to answer what the meaning of my life is: I’m going to make an impact on this world, whether I like it or not, so I’m going to make it better than it was a minute ago.

But this time was different.

What are you supposed to do when your own meaning of life is stripped away from you, by the ones who supposedly love you the most?

My husband cheated with his ex wife before we got married. I found out about a month before the wedding. I went ahead with the marriage because I was blindly in love. They have to talk all the time because they have a young child. I'm ok most of the time but when I have to be around his ex at sports, birthday parties, ect. It weighs on my mind. I start to scrutinize their every interaction.Last week, I was at their daughter's ball game and when she got a runner out, he looked toward his ex to share that moment with her. I've decided to quit going to going to games and this has made him mad. I also compare myself to her. She's taller, thinner, and younger. They have a friendly relationship and it eats me up. He says it's just for their daughters sake. His daughter is 8 and still sucks her thumb. We argue about this too. I want her to stop but it g do odd t bother him. I said it was embarrassing to be with her in public. He says I have mental problems and I'm being immature. What are your thoughts and or suggestions.

So here it goes...I am in college right now and we make friends in the first semester and hope to remain as friends throughout college life. But here is the twist, my friend told that I am not "fun" enough for as in comparison to a guy and her relative who was also a friend of mine felt the same and both of them completely stopped talking to me. I asked why did they do so and they cited this reason. Now I have no friends in college because I am such an introvert. I feel like a failure at this point. I felt so hurt but I can't just think about them. I have my whole life to be sorted...finish college, get a nice job and make my parents proud. I also give auditions to sing an I did not get selected for that either. I have just lost hope in my life now. I just wanted to vent this out and remove this negative feelings out of my body once and for all.

I see my very best friend as my soulmate but a couple days ago she started to talk to this guy online. I feel like I'm being put second to him, in no way am i jealous of their relationship I'm happy she has someone she likes romantically. its only been a 2 days that i feel she's stopped talking or answering my messages. she's my only real friend and I'm scared we are gonna drift apart. We have been friends since we were 9th grade and we are both 20 now, I'm just scared. Am i overreacting and i do plan on saying something if it continues. I'm very scared.