Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 78

i married my husband almost 2 years ago but things just got worse and worse with time and he became pretty controlling so I've been working on becoming more financially independent since due to a very complicated situation I ended up depending on him. In the meantime, I have developed strong feelings for a coworker and the other day he asked me out, since I'm married and my husband works at the same place ( which coworker knows) I chicken out and said no because I was scared of other people that know my husband will hear us. I asked for his number so I would be able to text him in private and he gave me his number and said he was exited to text with me, next day when I texted him he was very dry and ended up leaving me on seen and I feel so devastated cause I really liked him.

My sister is 3 years younger than me, and she's basically getting everything she wants with basically no consequences. when I was younger than her age, I had to be self reliant because our parents were busy working as we had no home and had to stay in a relative's house- we all had to sleep in one room, and I didn't even have many personal belongings- I had to prioritise taking care of myself- ironing my uniform, making my own lunch and breakfast, straightening my own hair, and having to walk 40 minutes everyday to school when we no longer had a car- even when we did, I was often berated by my dad for being slow because I was late and he had to drop me off- but that was because I didn't have any food for school. This was when I was 12- I don't really think it's a big as it's important to be self reliant when you're older, but the thing is, my parent keep coddling my sister to the point where she doesn't want to do anything for herself for her own, honestly selfish, reasons. She doesn't do her own laundry, style her hair, make her own breakfast or lunch because she can't be bothered to- this was by her own admission. She's 15 turning 16. She also doesn't clean up after making a mess. She studies in the living room- which is fine, obviously- but this now means that the entire living room is a mess of papers- even when we clean up, we can't do anything about them because she'll literally get so angry and starts to get aggressive and messes up the room if she can't find anything - which is annoying since I'm the one who has to clean the living room. She can also be very judgemental and rude to me about my interests and has called me cringe if I'm interested in things she doesn't like. She just doesn't feel like a considerate person at all. Honestly, she's the main reason why I'm excited to move out for university because I feel like I'll be able to live my own life- like I won't have to sacrifice my self worth just for her. I'm also hoping that she'll learn to mature and calm down as sometimes her temperament scares our mum off too

Of course, becoming a teen theirs responsibility. And always feeling the pressure to get a job from your parents. Anyways, im 15 and what are some jobs where I don’t have to work in a musty fast food place and being a cashier. (Counting money sucks😞) And im also introverted, but that won’t stop me from getting a job.

I feel like I need to be cautious around a woman I’ve observed to be prejudiced. She feels almost like family to me, yet I sense that her prejudices keep her tightly bound—and although she tries to break free from them, it seems like they’re stronger than she is.

She’s a deeply religious person, and that terrifies me. Her way of enforcing rules—under the guise of "care"—comes across as imposing. I used to be like that too, but over time, I’ve distanced myself from that mindset.

Now I understand how others must have felt around me back then. She has a daughter—pretty, charming even—but the idea of being close to her, especially knowing who her mother is, makes me uneasy. I don’t know what secrets the daughter may be hiding, even though she presents herself as an open, accepting teenager. I feel like I can't step out of the mold they’ve placed me in, or else there’ll be trouble. Honestly, I think the wise thing for me to do is walk away from their lives. Now I understand how some girls used to feel about me.

It was nice to meet them, but under the weight of this devaluing energy, I can’t say I want them in my life. Their deep involvement in things like religion makes me feel like they’re rooted in a kind of worldview that demands change in others—to align with what they believe is right—while barely acknowledging other people’s principles. It feels suffocating. I’m scared they might try to change me, in a way that doesn’t let me come back to myself—just through guilt.

I sense that, because I’m easy to pull along, I come off as attractive to her daughter—and that she engages with me mostly out of family guilt, at least from what I can tell.

I met them when I bought coffee from them. That interaction with the woman left me feeling that her every gesture was rigid, almost mechanical. I know she tries to be kind and patient with others, but I don’t want to go any deeper—I don’t want to see her anger. They seem “too good to be true,” and I feel like running away, because one day the mask is going to drop.

What sort of assumptions might they be making—without even realizing—while thinking they’re just protecting me? I’m honestly worried that they could interpret my behavior as harmful. Right now, I’m uneasy because the woman didn’t reply to me. She saw a few of my posts, which held values opposite to hers, and then I saw something she shared about toxic people. I’m afraid she was talking about me. I hate how she makes me feel—like who I am doesn’t align with the way she idealizes me. It makes me feel like I depend on her approval, and that’s a cage. That dependency brings on this anxiety.

[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

These are people you’d want to test—just to be sure their helpful spirit isn’t being exploited. But within that family, it’s been easy to keep things safe as long as I’ve stayed at a distance. Still, I don’t know if there are unspoken lines I’ve crossed without realizing. Honestly, I feel like I’m walking through a minefield.

I want to get away from this family. They present themselves as tolerant, but their roots and rigidity make me feel like this is headed for something terrible—silent, hard to name, and even harder to escape once I’m in too deep. I now understand exactly why my friends used to avoid me. Running into someone from my past has turned into a waking nightmare—something that feels just about to begin. I never thought I’d feel this way about myself.

And what’s worse, I think they may be entirely unconscious of the harm they could cause. They might normalize my changes—as long as they lead to what they see as ideal. They’d applaud every part of the process, even when I’m clearly lost or hurting. It’s like they want me to fail just to guide me back toward who they want me to be.

I feel the risk of being erased. Maybe I’m just confused—but the burden of trusting that they’re not what they seem feels too heavy. Maybe that’s why I’m saying all these things, about how they appear to be—things I hope they wouldn’t actually do. Sure, I bet they’re different when you really talk to them, but the level of emotional effort they expect from others feels crushing and guilt-inducing. That alone makes me feel trapped. I’m scared I’ll test the waters just out of habit—and get stuck.

Honestly? Now I understand why no one wanted to date me before.

Why do i feel attached to people who hurt me? So like, i have this friend, whom i considered one of my few close friend, i told him i was bi, he was fine with it, but after a yew years he suddenly just texted me smth like "i hate people who's being special on purpose" "if you weren't bi you would be more special" "instead of posting art why not focus on getting a scholarship", honestly this hurts me a lot, i blocked him but for some reason a part of me wants to unblock him and still text him- like i miss him but i hate him idkkkkk- i also made friends with someone, i liked them a lot even tho they told me how to hrm myslf and took pictures of me even tho i told them dont, which made me uncomfortable, so why did i feel so sad and lonely when they were gone?

You wander through the foggy streets

Wondering if anyone's noticed

Your thoughts circling around and around

You walk and walk

Not sure where your going

Or what your plan is

You just want to run

It starts to rain

You look up

Letting the symphony of falling water wash over you

You scream

The world not hearing you

They've never heard you

They never will

You watch the sun awaken from its slumber

Hearing them screaming out your name

Yelling for you to come home

You stand up

Wipe your muddy hands

Wipe your cascading eyes

And run and run

Hoping you'll run off the planet

One day hopefully

I have a lot to do and not enough time to do it I get paid once a month by UC and I might possibly be pregnant but with my income I have no idea if I can raise a child

[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

Friends, I feel deeply outraged at my community. How is it possible that the spirit of speaking out is not embraced? How can a society exist where wrongdoing is approved, accepted, and even—supposedly—tolerated? I am furious.

In my own home, speaking out was not allowed. Once, I reported my mother, and my father retaliated while my mother punished me. What kind of mother does that? She does bad things and then doesn’t want to be held accountable—instead, she conditions everything so she won't be called out? So that she’s protected and coddled? What kind of mother is that?

Tell me—what kind of mother encourages wrongdoing? When I saw that kind of behavior at home, it was the moment I realized things were very, very wrong. At first, I stayed quiet because I was confused about what “normal” parenting looked like. I thought violence, especially within the family, was somehow acceptable or even expected. But all I was doing was walking right into a dead-end that usually ended in a beating—just for reacting in ways they didn’t like.

Yes, maybe I responded harshly or impulsively as a kid—and I’m not trying to justify it—but today I understand those reactions were, in fact, justified. My parents were authoritarian. How the hell wasn’t I going to push back when I was trapped in their home during their toxic marriage? It made no sense to demand peace when their very demand was a gateway to more abuse. Their expectations were completely unfair. Completely.

When I finally realized all this, it hit me hard. For over 15 years, I carried the guilt of believing I had been the problem. But the truth is, I was just seeing myself through a lens of indifference—a reality where I wasn’t treated like a person, but like a toy they could manipulate however they wanted. I didn't even notice that I was being dehumanized. That’s why I developed such an emotionally distant way of being, isolating myself from others without understanding why.

In the end, that kind of upbringing—where reporting abuse was forbidden, and empathy was absent—destroyed my social life. People started drifting away from me, to the point where they’d only reach out when they really needed something. That was the only way anyone socialized with me, and I went along with it—just because I craved any interaction at all. I remember pointing this out to a friend once. I honestly feel like crying: an entire life thrown away because of those two core wounds.

I used to ask myself why everything at home was like that, and my parents would just tie me up in excuses, shaped by deeply broken identities. I’m scared to even express this—I’ve been censored before, especially for saying things like this on that other platform. But the truth is, what they called “help” turned into a sad form of isolation. And it makes me think of a doctor I once saw—her behavior seemed odd, almost abrupt in how she reacted. I get the feeling I might have unknowingly hurt her somehow... though maybe that’s just in my head. I don’t know where this conflicting emotion comes from.

All of this got reinforced by the biases I inherited from my family environment. I was completely lost back then—disconnected from reality, and I didn’t even realize it. How could this have happened to me? It tainted my elementary years, high school, and university, leaving me with almost no friends by the end of it all. That hurts. Because it wasn’t my fault—it was my parents’.

No wonder I’m so angry about what I said about my community.

Leering, pointing, laughing

'Oh it's only banter'

'It's just a joke'

'We're only messing around'

'You can take a joke can't you'

I tread carefully around everywhere

Stares from everyone

Whispers and sneers

Fear weighing me down

Following the river of my tears

Every day the same

Glares and frowns

'Freak'

'She's nothing like us'

Every comment leaves a mark

Burnt into my skin

Etched into my brain

Carved into my heart

The cruel words tornadoing around my head

'Tramp'

Brusies from their bullets

Cuts from their words

Shattered like glass

Am I made of glass?

i ask myself this all the time, like literally every single day—why do i feel like i’m not good enough? no matter what i do, what i try, it never feels like it’s enough. like i’m enough. i look around at other people and it’s like they all got it figured out. they’re confident, they’re smart, they’re good looking, they know what they wanna do with their life and people like them. and then there’s me. stuck in this loop of overthinking everything, second guessing every word i say, every move i make. i try hard, like really hard. i stay up late studyin, i help people when they ask, i try to be kind, but still i feel like i’m just... less. like no matter how hard i try to be something, someone, i just keep falling short. nd yeah, ppl tell me to stop comparing, to just “be myself” but what if bein myself is the problem? what if no one actually likes the real me? sometimes it feels like people just tolerate me, like they wouldn’t even notice if i stopped showing up. i laugh with them, i hang out, but inside i feel so small, so invisible. like i’m on the outside lookin in all the time.

it messes with your head, u know? like u start wondering if ur even worth loving or caring about. i’ve had people leave without explainin, had friends slowly drift away like i wasn’t enough to keep around. nd i know it’s not all my fault, but when it happens over and over, u start thinkin maybe it is. maybe i talk too much, maybe i’m boring, maybe i’m annoying or just hard to be around. nd it makes me scared to open up, to trust people, cuz i keep thinkin they’ll see the real me and decide it’s not worth stayin. i wish i could feel proud of myself, like genuinely believe i’m doing okay. but even when something good happens, i just feel like i don’t deserve it. like it was luck, or a mistake, or someone else would’ve done it better. nd yeah, i smile in front of people, i act chill, but deep down it’s like there’s this constant voice tellin me i’m not enough. not pretty enough, not smart enough, not funny enough, not important. nd i wish i knew how to shut it off. i wish i could wake up one day and actually feel like i belong in this world, like i’m not just taking up space. but right now? i don’t. and it sucks. it really, really sucks.

[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

I feel so much anger. Am I really doomed to stay in the groups I’m in? I mean, if I end up in a group I’m already part of—say, a family group—am I condemned to be stuck with them forever? Is there really nothing I can do to break away? Do I just have to get used to it out of inertia? This worries me deeply.

I admit it’s hard for me to write because I come from a social network that censored truly beautiful texts I wrote to let off steam—something I found incredibly unfair. It made me feel completely lost when it comes to using that platform. My intention was to express myself and structure my thoughts—focusing on that structure—without really considering others’ views. The point wasn’t to stay trapped within those external conceptions, but to develop something from what I was expressing. I just wanted to say this in case anyone wanted to offer their perspective.

Anyway, ever since that experience on that social network, I’ve felt trapped. Venting is what helped me break away from my family, to carve out a safer space both within and outside that context. That’s why I say I express and transcend. Venting gives me a holistic view of things without having to exclude any terrain. But I realized something: I think I’m normalizing things about my family. I feel like I’m using my venting to smooth over rough patches caused by behaviors that made me angry. It’s like I’m helping to re-establish those relationships in a “normal” space—a space I try to maintain without digging too deep. I feel like that has consequences, but I don’t quite see what they are yet.

It’s hard to structure my ideas in this environment—it’s different from what I’m used to, just like that other platform was. The fear of censorship is still there. Those posts were removed for no reason, or at least I never got an explanation. I followed the same rules as other posts I saw there. I’m furious about it. In fact, it makes me feel like the outside world somehow wants to push me back into my family setting. And whether it’s about family or not, people always say you have to break away on your own terms, not because someone tells you to. Otherwise, it could turn into a tragedy—it’s such a heavy burden. There’s this girl—I'll admit—who told me she feels trapped in a group and doesn’t know how to get out. In her case, the group is actively trying to make her leave her family, creating a barrier due to past circumstances that now prevents her from reconnecting. That happened a long time ago, and I’ve kept it inside ever since. I just wanted to express it.

I don’t want to meddle in that girl’s life. I feel like I’ve already left my family space behind—I did so a long time ago. And my experience with her only helped confirm it, especially after going through some very intense interactions with my closest relatives. The closeness we had only pushed me to create more distance, and that made our superficial routines of togetherness even more unbearable. So when the time comes for me to leave, it won’t be entirely bitter—there will be something sweet in it too. This is especially relevant if I ever get sick and we have to interact again. I know that kind of interaction will be unpleasant for me, because it creates tension and unwanted closeness with my relatives—those who used to take care of me. So in a way, if I do fall ill, it would trigger a change in their routine. And I think they would, maybe subconsciously, begin to appreciate the idea of me moving on to a place where they can’t or don’t have to interfere. That would open the door to my independence at last.

I feel sorry for this girl. Still, I think I’m ready to defend the principles of helping her—offering her a fishing rod rather than a fish, so she can catch her own. At the time I met her, I think she was open to it because her need was great, though I believe that need was buried deep due to how embedded she was in her group. I had stopped reacting impulsively and disrespectfully, breaking her routines without warning—these were the patterns she used to destabilize people, myself included. Her group absorbed her completely, and she shaped her environment around that. In short, maybe I can support her.

I just needed to say all of this. I don’t feel particularly skilled at writing. I posted eight times. Maybe the way I wrote had something to do with it—perhaps I wasn’t careful enough in how I structured things. But I can’t focus on that right now. I need to express myself freely if I want to sort out my thoughts. I need to release all this mental weight and reshape it through structured writing, so I can, as I said, transcend it—and that helps me find order in my mind. What hurts is that this was already my second attempt to engage with that platform. And once again, it highlighted how hard it is to express oneself freely—which, ironically, reminds me of how much I need to express myself freely. Otherwise, I’m just crawling through a dark tunnel, getting buried alive or hitting a wall I can’t break through.

I also like when a space doesn’t allow too much outside interference—it helps me feel like there are steady receivers out there, even if the way I express myself is different. I know that’s not realistic in the real world, where we talk face-to-face, not through digital platforms. But this goes back to what I said earlier—it’s so hard to break away from the past. If something from the outside knocks me down, I risk being dragged back into my family’s orbit. And I don’t want that. I have to be very careful about where and how I express myself—so I can see where the boundaries are and navigate through whatever life throws at me.

Apologies if this came out a bit disorganized. After all, this is a vent—a need to breathe, to unload what’s suffocating me and leave it somewhere, so I can move on to other thoughts. That’s how forgetting works, as good ol’ Freud would say.

I had only heard of the “Mommy Wars” but never saw anything nearby. Figured it was dying down. Nope. They are still a thing and always will be despite the whole “women need to support other women” war cry. Be gracious to ALL moms! Working/SAHM, young/older, homeschool/traditional, homestead organic/fast food…Every single one is just trying to survive.

a poem a wrote to my stepmum who abused me

Dear abuser,

How are you able to sleep at night?

After what you've done

All the anger and pain you've caused

The things you put me through

Dear abuser,

Are you happy now?

Breaking and bending teenagers spirt

Leaving wounds deeper than skin

Dear abuser,

How can you live with yourself?

Forcing teenagers to run away as their only other choice was death

Mentally and physically injuring them in the process

Dear abuser,

Does it feel good to get your way?

Is it everything you wanted?

Was it worth all the pain and suffering you caused?

Dear abuser,

I hope your happy now

I hope it was all worth it

The pain you put me through hasn't broken me

Dear abuser,

I know you will never get what you deserve

But this is my way of getting justice

I hope you read this one day

And realise its about you

Dear abuser,

I hate you.

Yours truly,

A survivor

I was receuited on my school bus my lowerclass people saying they needed eyes in my class especially on one student and i was like sure fine... Fiture me is kind of regretting it. But this society is completly founded and powered by people in a lower class than me. But they aint joking, had me sign a whole official document(i read it) and now i hate to follow the commanding people and the mysterious authority person. Its a simple group tho, we just gather information on people for fun, which is tasked by the commanding people(founders) and sometime get revenge if deemed worthy and funny thing, managed to get one of the founders to admit he used chat gpt for punctuation and complex words😔✋

All my life, been waging war in my mind, been waiting for something right, been waiting for sun to shine. Apathy, the friend of my enemy. Another blind visionary. I never cry, but I bleed. Tell me, what does it feel like to feel anything again? I know that it takes time, but this never ends, and I'm starting to realize: The glass half empty's been just a way to be baptized in the taste of your own medicine. Don't tell mom. Tell her it's just a song. Tell her I'm holding on. I'm sorry I missed her call. What this wasn't what I wanted? Can I return the life I've started? Just 14 years, and I'm exhausted. Guess we're calling this normal. Tell me, what does it feel like to feel anything again? I know that it takes time, but this never ends, and I'm starting to realize: The glass half empty's been just a way to be baptized in the taste of your own medicine. And I call it a cry for help. You call it song lyrics. But as long as I force a smile, I guess we'll just ignore it. I just hope that someday, someone will love me.