Life Stories and Everyday Drama - page 47

Some days feel like breaking,

Like the sky’s too wide to hold.

Like every effort’s wasted,

And your fire’s just running cold.

But broken isn’t ending—

It’s a shape that still survives.

The cracks just let the light in,

Proof that hurt can still hold life.

You are not your quiet failures,

Not the things they didn’t see.

You are the breath that kept on breathing,

When you thought you’d ceased to be.

The world may never thank you

For the battles fought alone—

But strength is built in silence,

And you’ve made that fight your own.

So rest, not in surrender,

But in kindness, deep and true.

Because even in the hurting,

There’s a brave heart beating: you

It’s heavy being that person — the reliable one, the strong one, the “they’ve got it” one. You carry so much for others, but when it’s your turn to break a little, it feels like no one’s there to catch you. Like your strength became a mask that made people forget you need care too.

And that’s exhausting. Not just physically, but emotionally — like your needs keep getting put on the back burner, even by you. You’re not alone in feeling that way, even though I know it can really feel like you are sometimes.

My ex and I stayed friends. I genuinely tried to grow from yk what he told me when he broke up with me. I’ve been thinking about distancing myself from him for a little bit but tonight sealed the deal. He and his friend were having problems. If I’m being honest, he was being self centered while

His friend came to him about an issue with their relationship. Though it’s not my friendship. But what hit the nail on the head of whether or not to leave him was the fact he dropped my name in their conversation. He said “this is just like how OP and others act.” I had nothing to do with that and he had no business bringing me up solely. So I asked him straight up “wtf was that name drop” and said oh I feel bad.and that oh but that stuff is solved. So why tf do you feel the need to bring up me in a conversation not about me? That shot was unnecessary. And then he said “but there is some stuff that’s been bothering me.” It’s impossible to make him happy. I have tried so hard. And there’s still grievances he refuses to say. That’s why we broke up in the first place. I’m actually so tired of this.

“So you think being a lesbian is worse than being a rapist?“ was not something I wanted to hear in the first 10 minutes of class.

But I keep my head up, and laugh when something funny happens because what else can I do?

I can act like it doesn’t matter.

Who are you to me anyway?

But no one says anything

and the words keep coming like waves crashing onto the shore

“Who even cares about the LGBT community anyway?“

“Why are you so gay?“

“just put the boy or girl on the website, the other ones are too complicated“

Petty jokes that flaunt your obvious queerphobia like a trophy.

And I know the teachers are trying their best

But I’m so tired of them changing the subject

“Just let it go!“

“I’m okay with it, but sheesh.“

You get a slap on the wrist so they don’t have to actually deal with the problem

Everytime it gets okay enough for me to feel good for once

I get hit with something like “Homosexuality is a sin!“ or “isn’t it some sort of disease?“

which is so easy for someone straight like you to say

Who’s questioned skipping class because you can’t handle another trumpie telling you how to exist

Who’s never questioned who the right person to tell about your crush is because you don’t know how they’ll react

Who’s never had someone get up and run away from you after you told them about your sexuality

Who’s never had a friend say “I don’t talk to lesbians because I’m worried they’ll like me!“ behind your back.

No one’s blackmailed you for being straight.

No one’s said you’ve betrayed the opposite sex.

You’ve never spent a birthday party sitting next to some girl trying to convince you you’re too pretty for this “lifestyle.“

You’ve never sat there and taken all the comments and rude gestures while you talk to a person of the opposite sex because you’re too scared to tell them the truth.

You’re not sick.

You’re not a sinner.

And you don’t have to deal with the consequences of your actions

Because you have queer friends!

You get a free pass!

You were just kidding!

And everyone believes you.

What do they care?

It’s not about them anyway

I’ve spent too much time pretending not to hear you

or that you meant something else

I’m not asking for much

But you don’t need to look at at through the lense of your religion

You don’t need to look at us through the lense of being less

You just need to look at us the same way that you look at people

Your fellow humans

All I ask is too be humanized

Is that too much?

I’m only 15 going on 16 and I’m already so stressed about life.

I have agoraphobia and selective mutism. My grandma is already talking about me getting a job and I feel like they’re gonna have me help pay bills since her and my mom have been struggling with bills for some time now.

My mom is never home and with her it’s a whole situation but I feel so alone.. I feel like I never got to be a kid and responsibilities just pile on responsibilities and soon I have to take regents exams.

I try to talk to my family about my issues but it gets dismissed because it’s just “bad energy” “nothings wrong with you” “unless you get brain scanned you don’t have anxiety disorders.”

I don’t even have my dad to rely on because I don’t talk to him and I hate being a burden.

I wish I had someone to help me and guide e through life I feel like I’m expected to do things my own when I’m terrified and honestly so damn tired of life. I don’t know how much more I can take before I just stop trying.

And there’s so much more but I have no friends to go to because they all just gave me trust issues by talking behind my back and saying “I’m sad all the time” when in reality I’m just vulnerable and scared. I’m scared to grow up, I’m scared of what life holds for me, I’m scared of my own future. I just wish I had more guidance instead of emotionally absent parents and a mother who cares more about her boyfriend than me.

So I have a tight knit friend group and we have known each other for a long time ( say 15-16 years ). So we are currently on a break from class and all of us were supposed to go out on this upcoming Wednesday. However, due to the place being closed we won’t be able to. So my best friend ( let’s call her Z ) told me that we should go today ( just the two of us ) as we don’t get to spend time together that much, the reason why the entire group didn’t go is because one of our friends had class. I asked Z if our other friend ( let’s call her Y ), who has previously said that she wants to go out can join us too but Z was hellbent on spending time together and have a one-one hangout. So I spoke on the phone with Y and she got a bit upset, which is totally understandable.

Later, at night we saw that my friend who has class today went to the movies with another one of our friends today and texted in the group chat that why did Z and I create plans without them ( we didn’t even go ). Today, my friend Y ( who wanted to go with us ) was like why are you even sending me reels you don’t even want to hang out with me…….

Like the thing is I understand why they are upset but everyone goes on a one-one hangout.

I’m honestly so lost about what I should do about this.

BTW I apologized to Y and explained to her why Z wanted to have a one-one hangout right after she asked me.

so, there’s this thing i’ve been doing lately and it’s probably the dumbest thing you’ll hear all day, but it works for me during those totally unpredictable, chaotic moments where i feel like the entire universe is flipping me the bird and my anxiety’s about to skyrocket into orbit; i’ve been forcing myself to just breathe, like literally standing there in the middle of whatever’s going down, inhaling so deep that it feels like i’m about to burst, then slowly letting it out like i’m some kind of zen master or whatever, and yeah it sounds super corny but focusing on your breath actually forces your mind to stop freaking out for just long enough to not lose it; i also try to write things down, and i don’t mean a fancy bullet journal or some crap you see on pinterest, i mean i grab the nearest scrap of paper, napkin, whatever, and i start scribbling every chaotic thought or worry or even a stupid doodle if i can’t find words, because there’s something about seeing it all outside of your brain that makes it less intimidating and gives you a bit of a laugh at how ridiculous some of it sounds; and then there’s my go-to move, which is just dropping everything and going for a walk, no matter the weather, and yeah, sometimes it’s pouring rain or freezing, but the sheer act of putting one foot in front of the other, feeling the ground beneath me and just noticing the tiny details around like the color of the sky or the way the air smells helps me anchor myself to reality; oh and don’t even get me started on music, because blasting your favorite playlist, the one that makes you feel like a badass, can literally change your entire mood and shift your perspective from ‘everything sucks’ to ‘okay, maybe i can handle this for a bit longer’; and if i’m really in deep, like spiraling kind of deep, i force myself to reach out to someone, whether it’s a friend who’ll let me vent without judgment or even just sending a quick “hey i’m struggling today” text, because as much as i hate to admit it, sometimes you just need to hear another human voice reminding you that you’re not as alone as your mind is making you feel; i also sometimes dive into something completely unrelated, like rewatching my favorite dumb tv show, because giving your brain a break from obsessing over uncertainty can be surprisingly powerful, and it’s not avoidance, it’s just giving yourself permission to rest and not be ‘on’ all the time; also, weirdly enough, i’ve found that setting the tiniest goals helps, like literally telling myself “just get through the next ten minutes” or “just clean one corner of the room” because ticking off even the smallest task gives you a tiny hit of accomplishment and sometimes that’s enough to keep going; but maybe the most important thing i’ve learned is to stop trying to predict or control everything because let’s be honest, none of us really know what’s coming next and pretending we do just exhausts us, so i’ve been trying to lean into the discomfort and tell myself “you’ve survived worse, you’ll survive this too” and weirdly enough, it helps to remember that i’m not the only one trying to navigate this crazy unpredictable life.

I stand I front of myself in the mirror, tears blurring the vision of the dress I tried on. It was a looser fit than before, but not lose enough. The contents of my stomach always emptied not so long after meals, lost somewhere in the pipes that rest beneath my house. And I stare at my bruised frame, cursing myself for the damage I am causing to myself. All because the only thing I want to feel is pretty. I make myself sick because I know this is all wrong. I know because it is only reassurance that I have gained over the years. Yes i’m aware I need to come to terms with my body, love myself unconditionally and all that, but I don’t. I can’t.

TW: sexual assault

Hi um so I'm posting here because I really don't have anywhere else to talk but I've been having a lot of trouble recently. I've been remembering a lot of the bad things that happened to me when I was a kid and it's a lot and idk what to do because I can't stop remembering it. From the ages of 9-11 my best friend who was the same age and gender as me kind of like molested me? I don't know if it counts because we're both girls and the same age but she would do a lot of things to me. I don't wanna get into a lot of details but it happened at least once a week and it did involve penetration with her fingers. I remember it happening a lot and she'd "experiment" on me, and one time our parents walked in. They were really mad and her parents stopped talking to us for a week but she convinced them it wasn't that bad and we were just "playing doctor" but she never stopped after that and I'd tell her I didn't like it but she would tell me I'm pathetic and if I didn't do this I wouldn't be her best friend, so I did. It went on until she moved to a different state and I honestly forgot about it until like a few months ago and I've been recalling everything she'd done to me and idk what to do because I feel disgusting and I can't stop thinking about it and I know it wasn't a super big deal bcs yk we were both kids but I still can't get it out of my head and it's like scaring me and idk what to do and idk if it even counts because we were both kids and we were both girls but I think I've been spiraling downhill recently and I realize how a lot of the stuff I do like being awkward in convos or having trouble with physical touch is partially due to this and I just hate myself for it because I can't get over it and I can't even hug my own friends without getting weirded out and I'm sorry for ranting I'm just really in a bad place rn with this and I can't stop thinking about it eve though it happened years ago

Today I had a total meltdown at work and I asked to leave. I went home and now I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to keep living. How do people work normally all the time? I get so stressed and overwhelmed and breakdown. I have bad anxiety and depression so I don’t think that helps me at all. I just can’t do this anymore

Everytime I feel as if Im the smallest, most useless presence on earth and I want to give up, somehow my brain injects just enough positive thoughts to keep me from stopping dead in my tracks and continue going, but not enough to fix my fucked up self image. Not enough to fix my skewed perceptions. Not enough to make it stop feeling like I'm in a car stopped dead in the middle of a busy highway. No. I feel every bit as shitty, every bit as damaged, every bit as certain of my failure as a living being. I'm just hit with the temporary high of loose nameless positivity that keeps me functioning.

Its as if Im being tortured. I know I'll plumit again, so why do I keep bringing myself back?

My relatives just left after what felt like a whole year. Before going, my aunt, uncle, and parents all tried to brainwash me into getting married. My parents cried and emotionally blackmailed me saying it’s either marriage or their death, and I have two days to decide. They forced me to give my number to relatives so they can send me marriage prospects on WhatsApp. They kept saying I live a boring life alone and if I marry, he will take care of me and my parents. He'll be my friend, driver, security, and once I have kids I’ll be happy and busy and talked all that regressive ass shit. But I decided at 15 that I will never have kids. The more I see how men are, the more I know I don’t want to marry.

I was just looking to start therapy and trying to heal, and now I feel scared again. I know I can never be happy as a wife or a daughter-in-law, and I do not want kids. I don’t know what to do. My parents’ marriage was toxic and abusive. My mom still suffers from injuries my dad gave her when I was 5. He used to pull knives on her, hit her with his helmet, break things in the kitchen over salt in the food, drag her by her hair. He once slammed a door on her chest. There’s been daily verbal and emotional abuse for years. She still stayed and now wants me to get married. I once got out of this toxic home and didn’t want to come back, but after a sexual assault incident I had to return. Now I’m scared to leave because of that incident and scared to stay because of the toxic home. This has hit my self esteem and i keep getting fired from jobs because of not being able to perform. I feel trapped.

I confronted them after the relatives left but my mom didn’t let me speak. She threatened to hit her head and had a phone in her hand. I shut up immediately because I used to do that to myself and it shocked me to see her act like that. I locked myself in my room after.

I feel like things would be different if I wasn’t this scared to go out and if I had a job and was financially independent. Maybe then they would see that I can take care of myself and them. Right now they probably think I can’t, and my relatives kept saying that if I marry, the guy will do all that. They are brainwashing me with regressive ideas. I’m not the “son” of the house so they want a son in law and I feel like it’s my fault for not being able to make them feel like i am a responsible daughter.

I feel guilty that I’m hurting my parents by not doing what they want. But if I give in, I know I’ll suffer. And if I leave, I’ll feel guilty for leaving my old, sick parents alone. I feel like there’s no solution.

**TL;DR**: My family is emotionally blackmailing me into marriage. I don’t want marriage or kids, but I feel trapped between guilt, fear, and pressure. I’m scared to leave because of past trauma and scared to stay because the environment is toxic. It feels like there’s no way out.

This is my first time doing something like this and probably the only time I only ever talk to myself when I feel down I'm in high school and I've always been the "lone wolf" that one quiet and calm kid you might see sketching or climbing a tree I don't talk much and people know me I know people but I'm not really friends with anybody I've only got one friend will call here 'Po' and lately things just feel different and off I'm not as happy as I used to be seeing them and it's probably just me so I event brought it up I'm so fed up with everything I can't vent to anyone and Po is my only friend and she's got more than enough of her own problems on her plate plus a lot from other people we're both 'therapist friends' if you will I often find myself fixing other people's lives only for them to completely ditch me months or weeks later feels like rescuing an injured animal as soon as their healed up they leave you Po vents to me about how draining it is to be around people who are depressed and down not in a mean way I get it it is draining and she's referring to her girlfriend who is also going through some stuff Po get seasonal depression and it's mid winter where I am I don't have any other friends or even people to talk to I've got a little sister who's much younger then me so why would I vent to her and honestly I wouldn't trust her either my parents aren't a option and I don't know where else to vent I'm the one who fixes everything what happens when I'm not doing great? witch I haven't been for awhile I just wish I could disappear everything is so stressful and the only thing keeping me going is drawing I'm sick of everything else my friendship with Po feels just feels empty she's moving in a few months and if you asked me last year in January I would have said there's no way we would grow apart and our friendship would totally be fine but now I'm not so sure and I can't lose her but it doesn't feel right anymore and anytime I think of venting to her she ends up telling me about how someone just vented to her and how she's glad that I feel like a breath of fresh air I'm not sure what to do my body image issues have been getting worse I find myself using the alphabet trick to stop me from crying at least several times a day and I'm not sure what to do I feel dead inside and I quit soccer which I've been doing for seven years I'm going to quit a sewing classes I've been in for four years and I'm so incredibly guilty for feeling like this when everyone else is doing bad too I just want it to go away I can't do this anymore I don't want to be the loner who's fine with never hanging out or sitting by myself and enjoying my own company 24/7 I don't trust people because I had bad trust issues before especially with older people when I was younger it took me 4 years to trust this lady and two days after I did and let my guard down it blow up right in my face and I haven't seen them in three years and honestly I don't want to I still can't believe that it felt like I got kicked when I was already down and I don't think I'm ever going to recover from that since I told myself it would be fine and having trust issues isn't healthy so I decided to trust someone and then it backfired spectacularly I don't feel like eating or doing anything I just want it to stop I hate this so much and I wish I could just be normal I'm stressed about everything I feel like I'm going mental and I'm so dissociated from life it's not even funny I'm probably gonna regret ever writing and ranting about this even though it's just on the internet where nobody knows who I am thank you for lending me an ear there is a high chance of spelling mistakes in this since I'm writing this down so quickly but genuinely thank you I'm not looking for sympathy I just really need to get this off my chest to anyone will to read

(I didn’t know what to put for the category sorry)

I’m 14 years old (female). I don’t feel safe in public, and I haven’t since I was 11 because of men. It doesn’t matter what I’m wearing or were I am, men just stare. When I was 12, I went to camp with my mom and a man came over and asked how old I was. I told him I was 12 and he just came over to sit at the campfire with me, my mom, and my moms friend who’s camper was right next to ours. He just sat himself down asking where I was from and what I like to do. He then said “Maybe you and me need to hangout alone sometime”. I was incredibly uncomfortable the entire time, after he said that my mom asked me to “go get smth from the camper” as a way to get me away from him.

My moms husband (My step dad, but I don’t like him so I just call him her husband) would always watch me when I was around 8 because I lived with my mom at that time. My moms shower had a clear curtain that was just kinda blurry, I asked her not to let him in because he would come in and stare at my blurred figure through the curtain. She said she would keep him out but he did it again and he wouldn’t leave till I asked him to because I had to get out of the shower but the only reason he left was because my mom needed him. I stopped taking showers after that. One night I woke up and saw him in my room, I didn’t think much of it but the room was dark so I just laid there with my eyes open to see what he was doing. He took a pair of my underwear out of my drawer and just left. I don’t remember what happened, but I was running from him one day and locked myself in my room, but since my door didn’t have a lock I pushed my dresser against the door. I remember I was crying and I didn’t come out till my mom begged me to move the dresser away from the door. I told my dad how creepy he was and we got a restraining order for a year. Thankfully after that he aged me and I hated him so he didn’t talk to me. I haven’t seen him or my mother in a year and I couldn’t be happier.

Just the other day I went to the gas station a few blocks from my house with my dad and my sister. We walked in and I almost bumped into this guy so I said sorry and turned around to go to my dad who was standing at the ATM machine at the isle right next to me. The man followed behind me very quickly and I quickly went to stand next to my dad. The man stood behind my dad and looked at me then looked around before walking away. I wasn’t gonna say anything to my dad about it but my dad saw it and told me to stay close to him because he didn’t like how he followed and how he was looking at me.

Every time I go out now I feel scared, there’s always some man staring at me for way too long. I’m scared to leave my own house and I can’t go to stores alone out of fear that something will happen to me. I don’t want to have to worry about what I’m wearing, that shouldn’t be an issue. I never wear anything that shows a lot of skin. I just want to feel safe

Hey everyone, it's my first time here (or any of these kinds of app/website for that matter, so sorry if I'm breaking any formatting or rules) and I just want to share my story anonymously with strangers as I don't want to share anything with any of my friend group as I don't want them to think bad of my ex-fiancée.

I'm in my early 30s and my ex-fiancée a couple years younger, and we met about 6 years ago. It was on a night out in the city that a mutual acquaintance introduced us. We instantly clicked and started dating a few weeks after. Since a majority of our values and goals in life aligned with one another's back then, we were so happy and though we finally found each other's "the one".

Of course a relationship isn't all ups, occasionally we would have a fight regarding what is expected of the other party since we are both working professionals and felt like we were not prioritizing our partnership enough. They are nothing we can't resolve though, we always talked it out coming up with a compromise. Although now it feels like this was a mistake since compromises aren't enough and we are not getting our needs and wants fulfilled with it. Regardless of this, am I wrong in assuming that with these setbacks, with love we were still supposed to choose each other right?

Over the years we have built plans for the future and have actively been working on them, getting engaged just early this year. We were also just about to purchase a house, but yeah my company suddenly had a round of mass layoffs and I was impacted. It's pretty hard to get a job at this time of the year in tech, with the sparse amount of openings and fierce competition. I felt like this was one of the lowest periods of my life so I sort of withdrew from everything. I even shut off my ex-fiancée as I didn't want to bother her with personal issues that she couldn't do anything about.

I guess this was her tipping point, I didn't see that her wanting to go to places which are expensive for my taste or even go on a full week vacation was her way to bid for connection, get me on my feet, telling me that it's okay to delay our plans for a bit, and fulfill her needs in one goal. I saw it as she just being financially irresponsible and unintentionally setting back our years of hard work, so I always flat out rejected her invites, intending to only use our savings for necessities and not for leisure just so we would still have enough when going to buy properties again.

She cheated on me with someone she met on the vacation she went to alone. I was devastated, it made me realize how much I was lacking. How much I didn't fulfill what she actually wants. I knew this because she was the one who confessed it to me as she cannot handle her guilt/conscience. I immediately forgave her but yeah we both can't see being with each other anymore because of this.

It feels weird that I'm not feeling any anger, just sadness. Just emptiness. We officially broke up, and now I don't know what to do anymore moving forward since I dedicated a large portion of my recent years working towards a future that never will be. I might heal, but I feel that I can never love or trust anyone again. I hate this.